u/Moist-Construction90

So, I’m 27 and have never felt right with being called a man. I’m not exactly sure what I would label myself as. I think somewhere between gender fluid and nonbinary would be accurate. More gender fluid leaning though. My pronouns don’t really matter much to me. I switch a lot with being more feminine or masculine depending on the day, but still a little neutral. I’m bipolar too, so my mood shifts add to how I’m “identifying” each day. I have a few questions that I’d like some help with. I’m comfortable with myself personally. I’m not afraid to tell my friends, but I just don’t know how or when to bring it up.

First, does anyone have issues feeling left out in their friend groups? I have a large group and they break off for “girls night” once a week. I don’t always feel left out, but when it lines up with days that I feel more she than he it’s kinda hard. Is it weird if I asked to be included sometimes?

Second, how did you tell your friends that you want to go by a different name? I’ve decided I want to go by a different more neutral name. I know my friends are supportive, but it’s still hard to bring up for me. Tips are appreciated.

Third, this one isn’t as important. Any tips for dressing and feeling more feminine when you have a very masculine build? I’m like 6’4” and have very broad shoulders.

I feel like I’ve had more issues with miscommunication since I got diagnosed a few years ago. I say things that get misinterpreted and then talk too much while trying to explain. I get called a liar, but I’m not lying. I just can’t seem to say things right. It just makes things worse. I talk too much and overanalyze every piece of a conversation till I’m paranoid. I’m just curious if this is common with Bipolar?

I made contact with my ex again. We were together for eight years and I really did and still do cared for them. I had a pretty bad episode and just kinda left. Like I didn’t say a word and just left without them knowing. I kept saying she was emotionally abusing me. I still think that’s fairly true. I’ve realized though that I wasn’t the best either. I still think it was the right choice, but regret how I did it. We grew a lot together and supported each other through both our different mental health struggles. I was there for her autism diagnosis and she was there for me when I got diagnosed bipolar 2 right before getting fired from my job. I’ve never doubted that we both loved each other. I just think we weren’t meant to be. I would’ve liked to be friends though. She has since came out as a lesbian and I was kind of expecting it. I’m really happy for her. I just wish I handled things differently. I robbed us of a healthy split and closure. This leads to this past week. I’ve been fairly stable after my initial shock after leaving and moving states away months ago. I’ve been feeling like my meds aren’t working, but there’s also been a lot of stress in my life too. I’m definitely having another episode. I can handle it now that I’m aware, but I messed up before I noticed. I was typing out a message that I wasn’t planning on sending, but I did. I told her how I regretted how I did it and how I’m always available to talk if any closure or help is needed from me. I also said congratulations on coming out and told her I was happy for her. I definitely let myself slip up and do this. I know I should have noticed earlier, but I didn’t. How bad did I fuck up?