u/MolassesCute6383

I’ve called/texted 988 dozens of times and it feels like they just put random n trained ppl on the other end. I told someone at 988 that I’ve been having constant thoughts abt suicide and have a date and plan and they told me to try taking a 5 minute nap??? I guess I understand the deescalation techniques for someone with acute suicidality but for ppl w/ bipolar + other illnesses that make suicidality pretty common it’s kind of useless. Not even sure what to do anymore

The start of this year was rly bad for me. So bad I almost took my life in February. Then I got back on new meds and everything was going well. I felt like I was finally able to be happy again, was eating well, working out, making new friends etc.. now I’m back where I’m started and it’s so disheartening. Was me doing better even real or just hypomania? In bed struggling to do anything. Haven’t showered in days, messy room. Assignment that needs to be turned in tonight that I haven’t even started. Feelingway in over my head.

Growing up w a pretty unstable hoarder mom, I was used to moving once a year so never rly decorating or putting up any pictures. All of our old paintings were just shoved in a box somewhere in the living room lol. Now my friends all make fun of me for not having decorations/any interior design sense but I truly have never been used to choosing my living space. Any advice? Trying to make my room look more livable.