u/Monsieurreaper

This subject has been on my mind. I've seen this idea on Facebook that if a man hasn't heard any stories from women about sexual assault that they've faced, then it means they don't see him as safe. I'll go ahead and tell on myself here: I don't think I've ever heard a first-hand account from a woman who was assaulted, sexually or otherwise.

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EDIT- I realize now that I rushed the post and probably should have provided more details. Firstly, I'm not saying that anyone is entitled to hearing about someone else's trauma. No one has accused me of saying that, but I still feel it's important to say. Something else I'd like to add is that my view is what I've seen others say- that this is a deeply personal topic that a lot of people keep private due to its nature and how traumatic it can be to talk about over and over again. In fact, the reason I posted this is because I wanted more perspective than just what I've heard on Facebook.

EDIT 2- I actually remembered after posting this that a woman I used to be friends with did actually open up to me about her ex SAing her. Also, while it's not the same thing, I've had women tell me stories about creepy behavior that they experienced, so it's not like I'm seen as some completely unsafe person to be around.

I decided to remove the "I'm probably gonna regret this" line from the opening of my post because in retrospect, it felt a bit asshole-y. I made this post because I wanted some perspective on this idea, and I don't want to come across as a dismissive douchebag.

On that note, I want to make two very important statements.

1. If I didn't want to educate myself, I wouldn't have made this post. I don't deserve a pat on the back for that.

2. An internet personality I follow has recently been accused of being abusive to women, and even though it seems no one is talking about the situation, I've made it a point to step away from said content creator. I don't deserve a pat on the back for that either.

I (M24) don't usually make Reddit posts, but I'm in a place where I'd really like to make this into a reality so here it goes!

I have a crush on a co-worker who I believe is also 24. I've known her for over a year now, and my admiration for her has grown a lot. She's a very good worker, very kind, has a wonderful sense of humor, and I swear every little thing I learn about her makes me like her more. Plus, we get along very well. She's expressed appreciation for my work ethic multiple times, and we have very good conversations. The best thing about our connection is that I feel genuinely confident interacting with her, and I don't hide who I am around her (aside from the crush, of course).

The next step I'd like to take is to deepen the connection. I'm not looking to confess so much as I'd like to strengthen the foundation and go from there. Here's what I'm thinking so far:

- Talk more about our hobbies and personal lives. We've talked about that sort of stuff before so I'm halfway there already!

- Talk more outside of work in general. We've messaged a bit but not very much.

- Hang out outside of work. We have *not* done this... yet.

The most important thing I want to say here is that I want to keep things chill. I like her a lot, but I'd rather not jump into anything too fast or too hard. What do y'all think?

(Also, if you're wondering why I haven't done anything in the year I've known her, it's complicated and I won't get into it here.)