Problem/Goal: I'm feeling torn between my parents. My mom is growing resentful of my dad after 30 years together because she feels like she's been carrying the family for too long. At the same time, I feel bad for my dad because he's getting older and his health isn't what it used to be. I guess I'm looking for a new perspective on how to navigate this without feeling like I'm choosing sides.
Context: My (30f) dad is a good dad. Wala siyang bisyo, at hindi na rin siya nambababae (he used to have an affair back when I was in kinder, AFAIK). He's not abusive, and as much as he can, he's trying to be supportive naman. The problem is, wala siyang pangarap sa buhay, at nagsisimula na siyang i-resent ng nanay ko because of it. Natatakot lang ako na parang ticking time bomb na yung relationship nila kasi minsan nagbabanta na rin yung nanay ko na gusto na niyang iwan ang tatay ko after 30 years of being together.
From a family na walang-wala, we're living quite comfortably now and ako ang main provider. Napagtapos ko na yung kapatid ko, and my mom's realty business is doing well naman, although hindi consistent ang income since commission-based siya. My mom and I also started a small food business sa area namin, pero nagbbreak even pa lang kami after 3 months.
Two weeks ago, nawindang ang parents ko dahil bumili ng bagong sasakyan yung kapitbahay namin. Gustong-gusto na kasi nila ng bagong sasakyan. Ilang taon na rin sila nagpaparini sakin pero hindi ako naggi-give in kasi hindi naman yon practical in this economy. Ang gusto ng nanay ko, ang tatay ko na lang ang tatao sa tindahan kasi wala naman siyang work. Instead na ibayad sa ibang tao, ipanghuhulog na lang sa sasakyan yung ibabayad sa tatay ko.
Since college ako, wala nang trabaho ang dad ko, but he's been the househusband. Siya yung gumagawa ng halos lahat ng chores before. Pero simula nang maospital siya a few years ago because of HBP and lung infection, humina na talaga yung katawan niya.
Ngayon, torn ako. Naiintindihan ko yung frustration ng nanay ko. Lahat ng financial burden ng family namin for the past 10+ years, kaming dalawa ang sumasalo. But at the same time, naaawa rin ako sa tatay ko kasi mabilis na siyang mapagod at manghina.
Previous Attempts: So far, I've tried to stay neutral. I've also listened to both sides without taking either parent's side, but I honestly don't know what the right thing to do is anymore. I understand why my mom feels exhausted, but I also know my dad isn't as physically capable as he used to be. I feel stuck in the middle, and I'm scared that this issue is only going to get worse.