The most recent journal I finally finished. This is the happiest I have ever been about how a cover came out.
Fabric with lace and a butterfly patch. Pics of the cover & inside first page. Fabric was a remnant from Walmart.
Inside cover was covered with leftover wrapping paper.
First page there was covered in tissue paper.
Walking the dog near the local high school and found this. School is out for summer next week so maybe it's a goodbye for the summer or someone is graduating.
I adopted Roxie at 4 months old and she's been with me for 3 and half years. She was a *very* timid dog when I first got her. She used to slink around the house tail between her legs like she was hoping no one would notice her. I've been working with her very gently on improving her confidence and I got such wonderful confirmation today she's learning and really changing for the better.
I used to thank God I always always had a leash on her when outside because loud noises would scare her so bad... actually not just loud noises, *any* sudden noises, and if she wasn't connected to me via that leash I know she'd have run and I'd never see her again.
Today we were on a very long walk (an hour and half with lots of breaks to sniff and rest and have water) and there were lots of sudden noises where we were and instead of going straight into panic mode and try to run away, she now looks to me and sees there's nothing to panic about and doesn't try to run anymore.
Guys, I am SO PROUD of her! She's come such a far way since she was that scaredy shaking baby. She has so much more confidence now and I'm sure she's happier for it. She goes out into the world now a totally different dog. She loves going for rides in the car and going on adventures. She wants to make friends with other dogs and people now, where she used to try to run or hide behind me. She walks with her tail up instead of between her legs. And if I'm being honest she's made improvements in me too. She helps me so much with *my* anxiety because I'm so focused on her I don't have time to have anxiety, I have to remain confident for her! She's truly a gift.
Of course I think she's amazing because she's my dog and I love her, but can she just get some congrats on these huge accomplishments!
I am so sorry this is so long.
I am 56 and have been in (naturally occurring) menopause only about a year, maybe a bit over. I am the one, if you've seen my other comments here, that patches and the usual HRT estrogen pill didn't work for me and eventually we discovered the birth control pill was the only thing that got my severe hot flashes under control. When I say severe, I mean I was getting extreme hot flashes several times an hour, non-stop 24 hours a day, dripping sweat and completely overheating. It took me a while to even find a doctor who was willing to talk HRT at all. Apparently I live in an area where most of the doctors are convinced anyone on HRT will develop breast cancer for sure because of that outdated study that's been debunked several years now. (Thank you Australia for leading the way on HRT options without fear mongering.) For context: I have no family history of breast cancer on either side of my family, in fact, barely any cancer at all, the only person who had any kind of cancer was my grandmother who died of colon cancer. Also I had a breast reduction in 2014 where they removed all my milk ducts, which is where 90% of breast cancer starts to begin with. I keep up with my annual exams and everything has been cancer free.
My current gyn keeps stressing I am going to need to come off HRT by next year. She started me on HRT when I was still peri, I want to say 2 or 3 years ago. When I say stressing, I mean she's even resorting to scare tactics in our conversations about how since I do have a family history of stroke I need to get off it asap because of increased risk of blood clots. But I know this already, we have talked quite a bit about that, I am making an informed decision about continuing on the pill while also continuing to do research on my own about the risks. And this situation I'm in right now is making me realize I need to do updated research.
She wanted me to stop taking it for a week or 2 every so often to see how I was without the med, and I've tried doing this numerous times probably trying every 3 or 4 months or so. Every time I get to about the fortnight mark of not taking it, the severe hot flashes start up again, and it takes me at least a week of being back on it to get them under control again, so I'm very aware of what will happen if she suddenly just stops prescribing it.
Is this really a thing that there's a limit as to how long you can be on it? Or am I completely wrong in thinking she is pushing her own agenda for whatever reason, maybe to avoid lawsuits or whatever if I died or something? I see comments here in this sub from women saying they've been on HRT for way longer than I have and I've seen comments from women who have been in menopause a lot longer than me that are still on it. I'm really confused now, because looking back on past appointments with her, she never informed me that testosterone was even an option for my other symptoms. She only suggested their own "bioavailable testosterone" that is not covered by insurance and that I'd have to pay out of pocket for, an option she clearly knows I cannot afford. She made it seem like that was the only testosterone option at all. She has even told me if I wanted to come in to talk to her about going this route that the appointment itself would not be covered by insurance, and she refuses to give me any real information on their methods unless I make that separate appointment specifically to talk about it. Am I getting paranoid that they just want me to take "their" meds for some reason instead of trying routes that would be covered by my insurance first? She also never told me about progesterone creams or vaginal options or anything. I'm only learning these things exist because of reading posts here.
I am beginning to think I need to look into switching gyn doctor. I just started going to a rheumatologist in a different medical system that I am loving, so I think I'm going to ask about getting a referral to a gyn in the new system.
Am I looking at this all wrong? Am I being suspicious for no reason? Or is my intuition on point about switching doctors for these reasons?
In case it matters I'm in PA in the US, in a rural area that doctors are few and far in between so if I switch I'm looking at driving a bit further, but that would be completely worth it to me if I receive better care where a new doctor would listen to my concerns and actually explain things to me from her perspective instead of insisting I need to make a separate appointment, knowing full well my insurance won't cover it and that I honestly cannot afford to pay out of pocket for before she talks to me about (her) alternatives.
For the record, I have nothing against bioavailable meds or alternative medicine, in fact I have been a very amateur herbalist for 30 years. I just feel like this gyn is being a bit shady about the whole thing but I have no hard facts to back that up, only my intuition, and I need real facts from sources that are up to date on HRT so I can make an informed decision here. And yes, before anyone suggests it, I have tried so many "natural" treatments with varying success but it's always been stuff that just stopped being effective after a while. I would love if those things were permanently effective so I didn't have to depend on a doctor's prescription at all, but I have come to accept I might just need pharma's help with this particular issue.
Please note I only chose activism as my tag because literally nothing there applied to my questions. lol It wouldn't let me post until I picked a tag. So I'm being proactive for myself, that's the activism here. Haha