I just cannot shake parental guilt, and it's driving me bonkers.
First off, I know a therapist is the best place for this, but getting it out here will help for now.
I have a remarkable 3 year old (who turns 4 soon) and an incrediblly supportive wife. I have always been a very hands on and supportive dad and husband; I definitely do my damndest to ensure my wife feels supported, that we are both giving equal efforts for our kid, and that I never let them feel neglected.
But I cannot allow myself to do what I want without feeling so damn guilty. For example, I love photography. I have a beautiful camera that I just love getting out and shooting with. I of course have tons of family pics, but I especially love getting outdoors in solitude and just spending time with my camera. But I can't even allow myself to do that because I always feel guilty, like I'm robbing my wife of an hour or two just for myself. My wife is ALWAYS supportive of me getting out and shooting, but I just feel like a bad husband for taking time for myself, especially because my wife never asks for alone time in return.
Idk, maybe I'm looking for people that relate. I know on a logical level I'm being really silly, but emotionally I feel like I'm being extremely selfish and it is such a hard thing to shake. I know I can't be all things at all times, but when I'm focused on myself it just feels like I'm putting my lovely family on the back burner and that is hard.