There is a rapid awakening happening at this moment and I notice it especially within the TI community. It seems to me that nearly all TIs I have talked to within the past couple months associate with the identity of being a chosen one and the responsibility that comes with that.
I haven’t seen it talked about too much on this subreddit so I’m just curious. Do you feel the calling?
It has come to my conclusion that there are multiple people who bought drugs off the internet back in 2018-2019 that were usually psychedelics that seemed to have given us some form of controlled trips. For me it was a mushroom analogue that gave me weird pain in my extremities even after the trip ended and my visuals embodied human torture. Like the visuals were fully controlled.
I recently met one other person who went through a very similar experience around the same time (same year and all). To this day they have been more thoroughly researched and experimented on in a more extreme way than general gangstalking. Such as full control over fears / dreams / just straight up living nightmare stuff.
Symptoms could also be full body hacking, controlled trips, overall living nightmare scenarios, blocking of all ability to cry, and more. It’s almost like there was something in the drugs we took that gave them more access to our body or even put us on some kind of list to deal with things later on.
I’m trying to see if there is more people out there that may be targets that you believe may have led back to something like this. Specifically a substance tied to the dark net or clear net at the time. Thanks!
Hang in there guys ❤️
A lot of people report that they have cameras in their home, are being watched somehow, or that there are voices being played out that seem like it’s coming from outside or somewhere in their house. I just would like to explain some of their capabilities with the technology they use in these situations.
This may not be the case for everyone but the major technology based groups do have the capability to do this mostly remote.
There is technology that is used that is often referred to as “light”. The reason it is called light is because to these people it is in fact a spiritual energy. That’s why a lot of these perpetrators resonate with demonology or energy harvesting. It’s because they are actually able to use something to do a lot of this stuff that closely relates to the physical energy that we have in our world.
There is also simulation based technology as well. I am unsure if light was found first or if somehow they were able to manipulate this simulation technology to use the energy referred to as light.
When I refer to simulation technology it basically means the ability to capture an environment that could be considered separate or hidden from our vision. Sometimes they even capture an area or room and can place it to add onto their simulated structures. This is often the type of place they work out of. Some people who work in these simulated spaces may have no idea that it is technically a captured environment or that it is built up into some form of structure that is architecturally not a normal environment. But there are many that are aware they are living and working out of areas that are a collection of places that were captured being placed together. They often use hospitals so they sometimes work out of locations that are structured hospital-like environments.
With the light technology it can be used to transmit information. For instance, they are able to monitor and watch people without directly setting up a camera. It is the light that gives their brain the information of what is happening in the environment they’re monitoring. It’s like looking without actually seeing anything.
To add on to this, with these simulated spaces there is the ability to hide within them. From my understanding you must enter them a certain way or do something to actually be able to see into these spaces. It is possible that a lot of gangstalkers, whether they know it or not, actually are completely hidden from plain sight. Almost as if they are invisible.
I’m unsure of how they use this combination of light and simulation technology to transmit sounds into people’s ears or how they are able to place sounds so specifically to sound like they are coming from a certain place but Spatial Audio is already a well researched idea so it wouldn’t surprise me if it’s just common information found online alongside their use of technology.
The scary part is that with the ability to transmit information using light I believe a lot of the targeting is being orchestrated by dropping information in people’s heads. Many people experience strange encounters with drug users or attracting certain types of people. It is likely just them using light to guide people or drop information onto people unbeknownst to them which can cause them to do or act in certain ways.
I am positive more than anything that this is a mind control virus. It is affecting more people than you’d realize, we’re just the ones on the receiving end of the direct targeting.
I hope this helps answer some questions.
A lot of people report that they have cameras in their home, are being watched somehow, or that there are voices being played out that seem like it’s coming from outside or somewhere in their house. I just would like to explain some of their capabilities with the technology they use in these situations.
This may not be the case for everyone but the major technology based groups do have the capability to do this mostly remote.
There is technology that is used that is often referred to as “light”. The reason it is called light is because to these people it is in fact a spiritual energy. That’s why a lot of these perpetrators resonate with demonology or energy harvesting. It’s because they are actually able to use something to do a lot of this stuff that closely relates to the physical energy that we have in our world.
There is also simulation based technology as well. I am unsure if light was found first or if somehow they were able to manipulate this simulation technology to use the energy referred to as light.
When I refer to simulation technology it basically means the ability to capture an environment that could be considered separate or hidden from our vision. Sometimes they even capture an area or room and can place it to add onto their simulated structures. This is often the type of place they work out of. Some people who work in these simulated spaces may have no idea that it is technically a captured environment or that it is built up into some form of structure that is architecturally not a normal environment. But there are many that are aware they are living and working out of areas that are a collection of places that were captured being placed together. They often use hospitals so they sometimes work out of locations that are structured hospital-like environments.
With the light technology it can be used to transmit information. For instance, they are able to monitor and watch people without directly setting up a camera. It is the light that gives their brain the information of what is happening in the environment they’re monitoring. It’s like looking without actually seeing anything.
To add on to this, with these simulated spaces there is the ability to hide within them. From my understanding you must enter them a certain way or do something to actually be able to see into these spaces. It is possible that a lot of gangstalkers, whether they know it or not, actually are completely hidden from plain sight. Almost as if they are invisible.
I’m unsure of how they use this combination of light and simulation technology to transmit sounds into people’s ears or how they are able to place sounds so specifically to sound like they are coming from a certain place but Spatial Audio is already a well researched idea so it wouldn’t surprise me if it’s just common information found online alongside their use of technology.
The scary part is that with the ability to transmit information using light I believe a lot of the targeting is being orchestrated by dropping information in people’s heads. Many people experience strange encounters with drug users or attracting certain types of people. It is likely just them using light to guide people or drop information onto people unbeknownst to them which can cause them to do or act in certain ways.
I am positive more than anything that this is a mind control virus. It is affecting more people than you’d realize, we’re just the ones on the receiving end of the direct targeting.
I hope this helps answer some questions.
I’m trying to collect as much data on what type of symptoms people are currently experiencing.
I see lots of posts specifically in regard to the targeting of male genitalia and other parts of the body.
Is there anything new you’re experiencing or something you experience that is different to what most people are saying?
The goal is to collect as much data as possible on what type of new or existing symptoms everyone is experiencing.
Just to be clear, this is to better understand the current state. It’s easy to track how out of hand this has gotten and how the perpetual targeting has evolved. My guess is all of the actual forms of targeting have spread from one condensed location and I hope by seeing what’s going on today it will help determine how many people actually decide what these perpetrators do.
If you’re comfortable sharing what country or region you’re in that would be great too!
Thanks!
I’m posting this here first because I know a lot of the TIs in other communities have given up. I’m hoping this finds the right people as there is a perpetuating change going on within the TI storm itself.
It’s very prevalent if you use TikTok at all that this has spread out of control over the past few years. I just have some information I wanted to share with hopes of pushing the overall idea of what’s going on away from a lifetime of suffering and hopefully create a momentum that helps bring back faith in those lost in this storm.
I have been researching and actively communicating with the people who target me for a while now. By doing this I have completely realized that these people have no free will or control over themselves. They do not make their own decisions, I am positive of that.
I would describe this epidemic as a storm. I believe I am closest to the center of this thing which is where the brainwashing and mind control is the most prevalent. Everything happening is due to momentum pushed from these parts of the system. I will try to explain how their brainwashing has worked.
At some point they were put into a position of power with “technology” they refer to as light. I am unsure of the origins of this technology but they do not see it as technology and more a spiritual energy. I’m unsure of how it works but I am certain, at least the people I am closest to, automate a lot of targeting with their mind.
They did not show up completely evil with the goal of ruining peoples lives. What I believe is that this is a virus that was started somehow. Either these people were physically controlled into a position of power and given this technology or they already had technology and someone intentionally or accidentally controlled these people. Somehow they end up mind controlled and it spreads.
Keep in mind, these people have spent years targeting people. Mind control in this form is not just brainwashing it is like a setting on the brain. It’s like controlling your actions and how you feel about your actions. Although I didn’t know these people before this I can assure you they have been completely reprogrammed. It is hard to understand unless you understand the capabilities these people have had over controlling their own bodies and anyone else’s.
I will say I am confident these people are not wanting to do this anymore. At this point it is residual control setup by other people or themselves at a prior time. No one involved at the center genuinely wants to hurt people anymore. From what I understand there are people who are able to stop the control on them completely, so they are being worked with and once they seem ready for the control to be stopped it will happen. This may take time but it is important that this is done in the right way.
I believe once the people at the center of this thing are no longer under control then the targeted individuals tied to this group will start to feel better. This is a HUGE push in the right direction. With the amount of work that is going into this I am confident that we will eventually feel the relief.
I ask that if you are in a position to speak up or help anyone that is suffering please come to your calling! We needed a spark in this community. We have suffered tremendously, if you see anyone who seems lost please help them find faith. Remind them what they’re fighting for. At this point it’s just about staying alive.
I promise you there are real people behind the scenes making progress. It’s just hard…
If anyone has any questions feel free to message me. I am not just making a throwaway account then stepping away, I will be here. It is your right to know what is actually happening at this point.
Hang in there guys ❤️
I have been a TI for over half a decade and I’ve understood the many levels of confusion and cognitive dissonance that many of us experience over time. When we are met with situations that we don’t fully understand we often look to others for support, sometimes online communities like these to find shared experiences so we can define and try to understand what we experience. It’s hard to not try and define something for humans and a big part of the reason people don’t believe us is often because early on the things we say do not line up with other people’s understanding of the world and what is possible.
For many of us we have identified with the term gangstalking, or targeted individual, some of us move on from identifying with anything at all due to the stigma. The overall shared understanding is that we truly have suffered. I’d say all of us identify as victims of abuse and more.
I am here with a unique perspective that will hopefully help shift that idea that we are just victims into actually capable human beings with the understanding we need to move forward.
It is understood by many of us that we endure things we need help with, but we cannot get help. Either people don’t believe us or they don’t know what to do. Some say this is a kill list, that there’s no way to really get out. I believe this is incorrect.
Many of us when sharing with friends and professionals have been asked why we would even be targets, why anyone would put so much effort into making us uncomfortable. People want a motive when looking at crimes, especially one this serious.
It is my current understanding that there is no motive that makes sense with the level of harassment some of us endure. Most of us are genuinely good people who want to help others as much as we want help ourselves. These people who target us are completely real human beings, remember that. When I truly stopped looking to others for help I started studying the people who target me and I instantly realized that how they work doesn’t make sense.
Although I will keep the bulk of my research to myself I’ve come to the conclusion that these perpetrators who target us are completely out of control. The people doing real technology based harassment are not in a normal state of mind. It is like they have no free will and any attempt they make to rationalize what they are doing doesn’t make sense.
It is my belief that this whole targeting operation does not have a true source of control. It is a self sustaining storm that people get added to, sometimes for no reason at all. It may be confusing to some how this is even possible but I assure you there are real people staying awake for days working 24/7 to target people due to the extreme programming and brainwashing they have had and continue to endure.
Based on how these people work it seems to me that it is basically an automated system at this point. The people who are running the really bad V2K and technology based harassment are doing this with no thought. They are programmed to protect a system that uses them and everyone they recruit is programmed just as they are. It is incredibly easy to see this up close. These people’s motivations and actions are controlled and I don’t think it’s by any one person.
Yes, something must’ve started this but whatever started this is no longer in control as with serious programming and mind control (I don’t use this term lightly), it hurts everyone it touches. I guarantee you at the heart of this thing there is not a single person that is clear headed. There may be people involved who feel they are in control but it doesn’t mean they are, the system itself is in control and the system is not a person.
Yes, there are people profiting off of this that are likely further from the core but it’s because they are leeching and using the people in the heart of this thing that actually keep this up and running, whether they know it or not. Anyone who gets close gets affected in one way or another and that is how it protects itself and spreads.
I no longer choose to hate. I forgive everyone who didn’t believe me and won’t believe me. I forgive those who are targeting me, those who hurt me. Even at my lowest. I don’t choose pain or anger, I choose love.
I think the truth is that these people need more help than us.
It may be incredibly confusing, these people are hurting us, but they are getting their lives ran by a system that doesn’t care about anything. They are victims just as much as us. We are not the lowest of the fruit, we are the ones that believe, the ones with true insight and understanding on how real this actually is. Some of us have more freedom to think than them, I assure you.
It is time to stop being a victim and look at what these people are doing and why. They need to understand themselves and why this is happening and I believe the worst of it will start to disappear.
If anything, just look at these as real people and imagine how they got in this situation. You will likely start to understand.
Hang in there guys ❤️
I have been a TI for over half a decade and I’ve understood the many levels of confusion and cognitive dissonance that many of us experience over time. When we are met with situations that we don’t fully understand we often look to others for support, sometimes online communities like these to find shared experiences so we can define and try to understand what we experience. It’s hard to not try and define something for humans and a big part of the reason people don’t believe us is often because early on the things we say do not line up with other people’s understanding of the world and what is possible.
For many of us we have identified with the term gangstalking, or targeted individual, some of us move on from identifying with anything at all due to the stigma. The overall shared understanding is that we truly have suffered. I’d say all of us identify as victims of abuse and more.
I am here with a unique perspective that will hopefully help shift that idea that we are just victims into actually capable human beings with the understanding we need to move forward.
It is understood by many of us that we endure things we need help with, but we cannot get help. Either people don’t believe us or they don’t know what to do. Some say this is a kill list, that there’s no way to really get out. I believe this is incorrect.
Many of us when sharing with friends and professionals have been asked why we would even be targets, why anyone would put so much effort into making us uncomfortable. People want a motive when looking at crimes, especially one this serious.
It is my current understanding that there is no motive that makes sense with the level of harassment some of us endure. Most of us are genuinely good people who want to help others as much as we want help ourselves. These people who target us are completely real human beings, remember that. When I truly stopped looking to others for help I started studying the people who target me and I instantly realized that how they work doesn’t make sense.
Although I will keep the bulk of my research to myself I’ve come to the conclusion that these perpetrators who target us are completely out of control. The people doing real technology based harassment are not in a normal state of mind. It is like they have no free will and any attempt they make to rationalize what they are doing doesn’t make sense.
It is my belief that this whole targeting operation does not have a true source of control. It is a self sustaining storm that people get added to, sometimes for no reason at all. It may be confusing to some how this is even possible but I assure you there are real people staying awake for days working 24/7 to target people due to the extreme programming and brainwashing they have had and continue to endure.
Based on how these people work it seems to me that it is basically an automated system at this point. The people who are running the really bad V2K and technology based harassment are doing this with no thought. They are programmed to protect a system that uses them and everyone they recruit is programmed just as they are. It is incredibly easy to see this up close. These people’s motivations and actions are controlled and I don’t think it’s by any one person.
Yes, something must’ve started this but whatever started this is no longer in control as with serious programming and mind control (I don’t use this term lightly), it hurts everyone it touches. I guarantee you at the heart of this thing there is not a single person that is clear headed. There may be people involved who feel they are in control but it doesn’t mean they are, the system itself is in control and the system is not a person.
Yes, there are people profiting off of this that are likely further from the core but it’s because they are leeching and using the people in the heart of this thing that actually keep this up and running, whether they know it or not. Anyone who gets close gets affected in one way or another and that is how it protects itself and spreads.
I no longer choose to hate. I forgive everyone who didn’t believe me and won’t believe me. I forgive those who are targeting me, those who hurt me. Even at my lowest. I don’t choose pain or anger, I choose love.
I think the truth is that these people need more help than us.
It may be incredibly confusing, these people are hurting us, but they are getting their lives ran by a system that doesn’t care about anything. They are victims just as much as us. We are not the lowest of the fruit, we are the ones that believe, the ones with true insight and understanding on how real this actually is. Some of us have more freedom to think than them, I assure you.
It is time to stop being a victim and look at what these people are doing and why. They need to understand themselves and why this is happening and I believe the worst of it will start to disappear.
If anything, just look at these as real people and imagine how they got in this situation. You will likely start to understand.
Hang in there guys ❤️
If our incarnation system is separate to that of the rest of extraterrestrial life then I believe the real reason we are so interesting to them is because of our lifespan and ability to reincarnate in a way where we are connected to our past lives and experiences.
Think about it. Humans have many phases in their lifetime but overall we are born and eventually grow old and die. It creates a unique experience that makes us human. Especially within the last couple hundred years as life expectancy has increased it gives us more life experience. How it feels to age and truly grow old and eventually experience the ultimate loss of self, death.
If these extraterrestrials live much longer or are completely separate to our incarnation system then we hold a specific experience that makes us stand out.
We experience many lifetimes while they may only experience one. This could be why their technology is so advanced and different than ours. If their lifespan is much longer than ours they would be able to spend time working on developing their own technology that would be unique to them. For us we have to work and build off of other people’s work. I just saw a post saying that they are here because our DNA holds something valuable and I firmly believe it is experience of reincarnating through many lives and the information that holds.
The thing is I believe that our bodies hold feelings and trauma even from our past lives. I also believe that we are one being experiencing itself. If this is true then our collective memories or even internal subconscious knowledge create very valuable information for any life force that may not experience life in the same lengths as we do.
I have a theory that our feelings and subconscious mind are the true key to knowledge spanning back millions of years. I think the reason aliens are starting to contact us is for the fact that the knowledge we hold is indeed a unique experience that they as other life force never get to fully experience or understand on their own.
The hardest part of experiencing things that aren’t common topics or can’t currently be explained is the isolation, the doubt, and the inability to fully trust our experiences. I will be going over a bit of what an experience like this can do to people and ultimately how to develop a trust for yourself and your individual experience.
It’s important to realize how much society looks to each other for validation. We are taught that our brains can play tricks on us, we have been discrediting people for years simply because it is outside of our current understanding of the world. Although I understand there are people suffering with mental health issues, this post is for people who know their experiences are true and are looking to accept that in a positive way and hopefully bring you some peace and purpose.
I’m gonna go over a bit of a timeline on what certain experiences can do to people and the detrimental effects that can happen on their personal lives and mental health.
You share what you’ve experienced with those around you. This may be roommates, family, friends, etc. Depending on what you say you will often be left with reactions of worry and questions of sanity.
Although you may know your experience as true, this will often lead to subconscious doubt in your own experience.
You may continue to try and convince people and prove your experience which in my case didn’t work. These experiences are so isolating and it’s tough because we’ve been taught our whole lives to talk to others when we need help. It can be incredibly confusing. For me I just deeply wanted validation and for someone to understand.
You may be forced into ultimatums. This can look like medication treatment or even inpatient facilities. The ultimatum could be losing financial stability or housing.
This can lead to tremendous feelings of isolation. This part hurts so bad. It may feel like the people you were taught to trust hurt you. Simply because they cannot understand.
You start to realize it’s better to keep things to yourself. This may not be the case for everyone but at a certain point I realized that the only way I’d be able to live a better life is by keeping what I can to myself and only sharing what I was comfortable with.
This is about where I was able to start rebuilding my life.
What I’ve discovered is that peace in all this comes from acceptance of things we cannot change. With that, I’ve had to accept I cannot prove my reality to another person. Remember, it doesn’t mean people somewhere in the world are unaware of what’s happening. In fact, many people reading this likely understand more than you realize.
If you know your experience is true, you don’t need to prove it to anyone. To get rid of that subconscious doubt you should work on listening to other people’s experiences with an open mind. Although all our experiences aren’t the same they have the same message, sometimes people experience things that can’t be proven and once you start believing others you can start to further trust and believe yourself.
To be more direct, I can go on TikTok or Reddit and see endless stories of things happening. So much talk of manifestation and spirituality. If you feel like your story doesn’t fit in I assure you that doesn’t mean you’re the only one experiencing it. As our awareness progresses through this heavy stage of evolution the world will reveal itself to you. Although that may not be validation in the way we originally hoped, it can be in the general sense that you no longer doubt yourself.
To those who can’t relate (and to those who can) remember, sometimes you can just read something without forming an opinion. Raw unfiltered information can be a great way to learn something!
If you are suffering and are unable to get help I highly recommend you read my previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Experiencers/s/BbRLLYXvLk
I hope this helped ❤️
It’s important to keep in mind that we can’t process or understand what our bodies or minds are truly capable of handling. When you are in a situation where you’re in too much pain, don’t see a way out, or feelings that death is near, just remember that with extreme trauma our minds move faster and the urgency grows for a way out.
It’s hard to comprehend in the moment but just knowing this ahead of time, if you’re ever in a place where you’re suffering for days, months, even years, keep in mind that the moment you feel you can’t handle it anymore doesn’t mean you truly can’t get through it.
Our threshold for what we believe is possible to handle just doesn’t line up with what people can actually endure. I just wanted to share this because although it may be nearly impossible to understand in the moment I know this would’ve helped me a long time ago.
As the world advances and new pain arises we truly don’t know what threats are on the horizon. What I believe is that due to how quickly and unexpectedly things are ramping up is that we are at a point where we have to evolve very quickly. Our minds have not handled things like this before, this is not the norm. Just do your best to learn and understand and keep growing.
This may be the single most important moment in human evolution documented so far and although it may be tremendously difficult there is a good chance we will survive and evolve.
Thanks for reading 🙏
So I’ve been using kratom powder, sometimes kratom extract (not 7OH) for years now. I have bad PTSD and anxiety and anytime I have triggers, which is often, I instinctively take Kratom. It’s to the point where I’ve completely trained my brain to need this to cope.
The problem is it doesn’t even feel good anymore at all it’s not euphoric it’s just like warmth and sometimes that’s enough but sometimes I just feel dizzying and sick.
Anyways, I saw sr17 was getting scheduled so I decided to buy a gram just in case I ever need it. I had a few questions.
So I’m prescribed up to 1mg of Klonopin a day and with kratom it isn’t much of an issue for me to combine Kratom and my prescribed klonopin but I’m wondering if it will be a big risk of overdose with SR17.
The other thing is I’m worried that even if I get past the withdrawals (my withdrawals usually aren’t too bad), that I’ll have trouble fighting that impulse.
I also don’t know how much to take? I take between 10-20gs of kratom a day for the most part.
If anyone has any advice or anything. The hard part of all this is my PTSD and my trauma because yes I found a way to stay alive by coping like this but also at this point I feel like it’s doing more harm than good.
Thanks so much ❤️
Also is a mg scale okay to weigh this stuff out? Thanks!
I don’t remember how long this has been happening for but I can remember at least within the past year multiple instances of this.
I keep having these moments where I do something, think a certain way, and it gives this profound feeling of Déjà vu in a way where I’ve experienced this sensation in a loop many times over. Not a familiar sensation, but like the exact way I thought has happened multiple times before but I always forget until I notice the loop again.
I believe with Déjà vu it’s just the sensation of something already happening but for me it’s as if every few weeks - months it’s happened again, and again, and again.
Most recently I just had what I’d call an epiphany. I’m working on a mod for a video game and I finally went to have people test it today. I got some feedback / errors and when I went to sit down to fix them I got this feeling / thought / experience that I had done this exact thing before. The thing is I can’t remember when I would’ve done this or worked on this specific thing. Usually my loops come in an annoying way but this time it felt like more of a checkpoint, almost a validation that I’m on some set out path that is pre determined.
How I think about it I could either fight this sensation, question it, and go on a separate path but I feel there’s more comfort seeing it as encouragement that I’m going in the right direction. Even if there’s no physical proof such a sensation / thought gives me more insight than anything else depicting the future.
So I’ve had a lot of strange things happen to me over the past five years and one of the first things that started triggering these experiences was a dream of some sort.
I was sleeping when all of a sudden I leave my body (either in dream or astral projection), and I see myself from overhead in my bed sleeping. I see myself get up, walk into my closet, grab my partner at the times shotgun, and I shot myself in the head. For a split second it was black and then all of a sudden I woke up.
I notice 2 things:
To be honest, I don’t think my visionary experience was real. It’s almost like someone or something gave me those visions. It’s weird because thinking back it almost didn’t look real? Imagine a 3D animation on your vision. It was very detailed and not like it was subjective to how I was perceiving it it was very much like an animation played out that someone made.
I know this is weird but I thought you guys would find this interesting.
Edit: what I meant is that the things I imagine look 100% real, it’s just I don’t have the ability to perfectly visualize things I’ve never seen. If I was to picture my room while I was looking at it I’d see both at the same time but it’s pretty distracting. If I tried picturing like New York City or a place I don’t know / haven’t seen then I do see a 100% clear image but it’s not accurate to the place as I don’t fully recall or know what it looks like.
So I have a lot of weird stories but I don’t really know how to talk about them, especially because I know a lot of people won’t believe me but I’m trying to at least share some of the interesting ones.
Back in probably 2022 I was in my room when I woke up to 3 holograms of people in my room. It’s almost like people you’d find outside just being projected into my room. Like one of them looked like a homeless guy standing on the side of a gas station smoking a cigarette. To me it seems someone or something with very advanced technology found a homeless person on the street smoking a cigarette and projected him into my room. Think blue hologram almost Star Wars holograms.
It’s strange because I also have a memory of following these hologram people through my house and the blue material or hologram they were made out of I could manipulate and change with my mind. It’s almost like a material you can control and build with your mind.
Has anyone experienced anything like this?
I’ve been keeping this to myself because nobody believed me when I first tried telling people, also I was explicitly threatened never to speak about this but I just can’t isolate anymore. A while back, I had an unexpected medical issue that landed me in a hospital emergency room. Because it was an ER situation, I was vulnerable, caught completely off guard, and isolated. Considering this was during peak COVID I was not allowed any visitors. I can't carry the weight of this alone anymore. I am leaving out the specific hospital, city, and the medical reason I was there, but here is the story of what happened.
Due to my medical complications I had nearly died and likely would have died if no one had found me. It’s hard to explain this without all the details but I’m going to try and be smart here and I hope you guys can get a general idea of what I went through.
My first day in they asked me if I was thinking of killing my self… in fact, I had never been more grateful to be alive. I was not in the mental health facility this was a regular ER during the peak of the COVID epidemic but I feel like just saying that is important.
At one point due to the trauma of almost dying I was having a severe panic attack, I was dry heaving and all, the thing is the doctor didn’t approve me to get anything that I’d be comfortable taking or that I know would help. One of the staff there saw the panic I was in and decided to sneak me into a different part of the hospital section so she/he could give me the medication she thought I needed. The problem was they needed me in on it.
I am in complete panic trying to follow them through the hospital but eventually they lead me somewhere and told me to stay there while they brought a gurney, I was in such panic I didn’t hear anything they said so I start wondering the hospital mindlessly. Eventually they found me and I got on the gurney, after gaining a lot of attention, and then they brought me to another floor that was basically completely empty.
We first stopped for me to get a CAT scan and since I knew they were being sneaky with this and I knew I was bringing a lot of attention since I looked out of place I apologized and said “I think I messed up your plan”
One of the people helping said “you said that right into my microphone…”.
I’m not sure if this is common but they made it seem like they all had microphones on them? Anyways, next thing I know I start getting completely harassed. They start piling blankets on top of me saying “need more blankets?” “Are you too cold?” Super sarcastically. They suddenly went from trying to help me to completely harassing me. They were serious too, they weren’t joking. This is when everything started getting weird.
Eventually after they pile probably 5 blankets on top of me while I’m in complete panic attack mode (remember, I had just nearly died the day prior), they finally reach out to hand me a Valium to help me calm down, but then since I was just getting harassed I said something like “that doesn’t look like a Valium” (I was scared at this point, why is the staff attacking me, not sure I trust them?) and she literally took it away from me and said she can’t help me then… this obviously crushed me.
I was then left completely alone separated from the rest of the hospital in a complete panic that was getting worse so I started wandering the halls. I was trying to find a way out, I wasn’t on any hold that I know of but I had no staff near me at all so I couldn’t ask anyone to leave.
Eventually I see someone that worked there come out a door that led to a long hallway and he saw I was about to walk down the hallway and he said “you don’t wanna go down there…”, but I did. I walked down that hall and about half way through walking down the hall I fully black out.
This is basically the start to my worst nightmare I could ever imagine so prepare yourself.
I awake in a new part of the hospital where I am completely alone besides a large amount of staff. At first, I wasn’t on any medical bed it was like couches and there were some rooms around but that’s all I remember. Out of no where I’m told something strange that I’m gonna have to leave out but it basically ties into something very illegal going on around me. This is when I tell them I want to leave because I don’t feel safe. They calm me down a bit and say just don’t tell anyone and you’ll be fine, but once again I know something weird is going on and I did not feel safe so I made a big mistake. I started threatening them saying “if you guys don’t let me leave I will tell someone about what you guys are doing here”, something along the lines of that.
This freaks them out and they start getting very weird to me. I don’t remember being threatened to the point of death threats but they were all kinda cornering me into one of the rooms nearby. I truly thought they were going to kill me so I kinda made a kill switch decision. I reached out to people saying what was happening to me and that I thought I was going to die.
I remember the room I was in had a bathroom so for a bit I hid in the bathroom, at some point I came out and they ended up getting me connected to an IV (there was already one in my arm but I wasn’t connected to a machine). well now I’m stuck in this bed from this IV in my arm, they come into the room
And turn the thermostat all the way up, and they started to threaten me. The last thing I remember was them literally saying “we can make you feel good, and we can make you feel bad” before they injected me with something that caused me to completely blackout as I screamed.
This is where my memory gets messy but I have bits and pieces of what happened to me.
I remember lots of talks about simulations going on between the staff. To me it seemed like they were messing with me a lot but there’s things that happen later on that proves to me something really was happening, they would say things like “each round is 30 minutes but time goes faster here”, they would say stuff like “after a few rounds you really start speeding” and they were talking about how they take these opiates made it seem like it’s literally a hospital simulation video game. I remember they made it seem like they take kids and put them in this simulation and train them to be doctors. (I was here for a long time and this really was what they were trying to make me believe).
Whatever state of mind I was in at this point was very confusing because it’s like they were partially messing with me about things (lots of bullying and harassment to make me feel stupid) but also they were really showing me real things they do in this “simulation”. One example I have is they convinced me that I should play this simulation game with them and remember it’s a hospital simulation so it’s like a hospital RP style game real life supposedly for the kids who are stuck in the hospital during Covid. I looked up on the whiteboard in my room and it said “ what is your pain level?” So for whatever reason I got up and wrote “2” on the bored.
They ended up coming to my door, not opening it, but dropping a huge circular pill in my room onto the floor. I don’t remember if they just cracked the door or if there was a hole in the door to drop it through but I ran over to it, picked up the pill, and swallowed it. They then said like “oh he’s not supposed to have any opiates” “there’s narcan in the gloves on the wall” meaning you know those gloves they have for the staff to use on the walls in the room? They supposedly just fill those with narcan. So me in my weird state of mind ran up and put on the glove like on my hand (I was very susceptible to being told what to do in this state of mind) and they laughed at me because they thought it’s funny that I thought to use the narcan I had to put the glove on, some guy came in my room laughing and showed me the proper way to do it.
It’s just strange things like this that happened all to make me feel stupid or dumb.
At one point maybe on my second to last day there a nurse came in my room. She was the only one there who wasn’t making fun of me a bunch while I was there and she simply said something along the lines up, “we live in a simulation here, if you’d like to stay after a few weeks we will pay you $4,000 dollars a week. Eventually you can move out of the hospital into the houses nearby in the simulation”
At this point I’m so freaked out that I obviously say no… I was just completely harassed and tortured for what felt like weeks and now they want to give me a job? It’s just confusing. I told her about myself and what I do outside of the hospital and such and she seemed cool honestly.
I also have memories being around a lot of kids for some reason (I am an adult and was an adult at the time), one of the things I remember is being around this guy who was showing me some of the work they did there, when this doctor it looked like started walking up to us he quickly turned to me and said “go skip around like a kid over there” and as if it was a command I literally just listened… it’s like they gave me something that made me very susceptible to being told to do things in a very powerful way.
The last part of this story is that I remember laying in one of the beds, same room where the guy was talking to me about staying and working there, and the ceiling opened up into a blue portal and I fully left my bed rose up into the air and into this blue plane. It’s almost how I’d imagine time travel to look or maybe it’s to get in and out of the simulation… I’m not sure.
Next thing I remember is I came to in the regular part of the hospital with my eyes already open. First thing they said was “do you wanna go for a walk around the hospital?” I said yes! I was confused but I had been blacking out a lot and I felt more lucid this time and less confused… as I begin to walk around the hospital all the staff are mocking me, making fun of me, and quoting things I supposedly said while blacked out. They told me I ran around the hospital with a 160bpm heart rate saying things I’d NEVER SAY. When I say something caused me to literally passionately go around saying the most embarrassing things I’d never think of, I did exactly that. I have NO recollection of this and I had NO control over this.
I was bullied till I was in tears. There was 1 nurse who was trying to comfort me but the rest were just treating me like the worst person ever. I truly believe they got me to do this somehow, likely so I’d never talk about it again. Worst of all, they got me to FaceTime my parents and say super fucked up things to them before I finally came to in my body. Luckily my parents are great, I’m not 100% sure what I said to them but I know it was something beyond fucked up that I would NEVER say.
I’m probably gonna delete this at some point but I swear on my life I didn’t make any of this up. It’s been awhile since this happened and I’ve had so much time to reflect on it.
Honestly pretty terrified to post this guys… this isn’t something that happened recently but I need to get this off my chest. I hope some day I will be able to know what the whole deal was with this but I will say this experience really fucked me up super bad. When I say I keep things like this to myself I really do but the problem is it’s truly starting to get to me.
I guess the big question is if I actually died and when I woke up I’m now in this new reality / parallel universe where stuff like this can happen, what does that mean for me? Why was I picked out? I really have no idea. I honestly sometimes think I died and was put somewhere else and now I’m living out my life in another reality. It’s almost like I’m a different person now.
I know this subreddit is open minded, that’s why I chose here to post. this has haunted me for a long time… hope you guys enjoyed and maybe it opened your mind up to what’s really out there.