u/MostconfusedAH

So finally after 2/3 years of prettty much pretending to be who I 20F am not I’m finally going no contact with my father next month however Idk how to go about it?
Reason why im waiting till next month is because he ‘shipped’ my sister 16F back for ‘misbehaving’ 3 years ago and then I supported him cuz I believed he’s my father and I should just do whatever he wants and agree with him but 2 years ago I left religion and my eyes started opening up to so many abuse and toxicity I put up with in the name of family and over the years it gotten worse and worse as I realized how much I’ve suppressed. He’s biggest nightmare weirdly enough is his kids leaving the religion or getting a divorce (????)
But anyway he’s finally returning my sister back next month and I’m finally able to cut him off I waited because if I had done so earlier he’d not bring my sister back and she’d be unsafe
Also yes, I’ve moved out since September, he doesn’t do AMTTHING FOR ME so I’m good on that front, and I live in the west. So for the most part I’m safe? But still scared
So now how do I go no contact next month when she gets here?
Should I wait for a couple weeks before going no contact?
Should I come out as non Muslim, Bi, and all the ‘haram’ things I’m doing to make him wanna cut me off himself?
Upset him so he stops talking to me and I just block him? (He does this where he stops talking to us when he’s mad, he’s not spoken to my brother 18M since march)
What are the things I should make sure I have ready, done, or prepared before cutting him off
Idk silently never speaking to him again doesn’t seem like an option idk why? Cuz he’d keep contacting me, and idk how I’d respond to that

I’ve been with my bf for 8 months and when I say he’s perfect, I truly mean it. He loves me, my body, treats me great, doesn’t make, take, or accept racist jokes or people (I’m of a different race than him). He does everything for me pretty much. We cook together, and sometimes I’m too tired to cook so he cooks for me. He never lets me cook for him unless we’re doing it together.

Today was the first time he asked me to make him dinner after work. Mind you, he made me dinner after he got home from work last night and again this morning, yet he was still nervous to ask me for the first time in 8 months. We do our laundry together and he goes to get it most times. Yesterday I did it alone and made his bed, and he thanked and kissed me so much for it.

He pays for all our dates, and when I do pay I’ve got to fight for it. He sometimes randomly sends me money just because. He got me a camera recently that I said I was gonna buy and surprised me with it. He’s so loyal to me, I’ve never caught him doing anything suspicious. I’m generally not a jealous person so that’s not even an issue. We have great sex.

I have a bit of a temper while he’s never angry, always chill or happy, and if he is mad he tells me in the most gentle way. Once I apologise or explain, it’s over. Sometimes I get mad and stay silent or just lock off, and he’s managed to easily get that wall down.

I still get shy when he looks at me for too long or calls me “my” anything. He thinks I’m so out of his league and I absolutely don’t believe that because he’s incredibly attractive. I genuinely find everything about him so beautiful, his face, smile, teeth, butt, face. His laughter sounds so magical. He hates being tickled but laughs when I do, so I love tickling him just to hear him laugh.

Even my friends say he’s good looking. One of my friends even said she’d fuck him one time (she was drunk and I wasn’t dating him then so it doesn’t bother me).

I’m moving to a different city for the next three years and I’m really sad we’ll have to be long distance. I cried about it (and I hate crying), and he just held me, kissed me, and now he’s applying to move with me to that city.

There’s genuinely no red flag at all. If there’s any, it’s probably from me. He’s genuinely perfect.

This is just a little part of how amazing this relationship is, but my problem is I feel like I don’t love him enough or don’t show it enough. I don’t know what more to do or how to make him feel like I love him. I’m a bit less emotional than him, so I feel like I’m not even expressing it well, but he says I do. He said that especially when I’m drunk I spend the whole time crying and telling him how much I love him.

He also said I do a lot for him than I realise, it’s just not physical stuff like he does. He mentioned things like how I made him a different person, that he became more independent and less dependent on his mum after meeting me, and that he’s taking bolder steps in life now and that I’ve increased his standards a lot in relationships. But those things don’t feel real to me compared to what he does.

So what can I do to make him feel my love more? Am I doing enough? What would you want your girlfriend to do for you if this was you?

TLDR: I feel like I don’t love my bf enough and want to know how to be a better gf to him cuz I’m really feeling insecure about my role