u/MostlyW

Well, I think, let's leave outward and let me move inward. Let me enjoy myself.

Let's leave. I am glad I felt the love with intensity. I understood that part of the world too.

Now, there is no point in leaving you or letting go or fighting with my mind. Ahah. I feel like a leaf, like a wave pulling back into the calm ocean.

Woah.

We tend to think more, doubt more nd analyse more. And over time, this makes us exhausted nd we start feeling anger toward the other person, who is not responsible for our thoughts, perspectives and ideas.

I had only one thing that was bothering me, and that was that I wanted to say “I love you” at that time. But I only acknowledged these words for you the next day, so yeah, I feel a little bad.

Okay. We are here. Let me just be here. I feel good now.

Thanks for reading.

These words I can feel and understand better now. In all my existence till now, I have never loved someone like i did to you. What I have experienced in loving you is very different from what I idealised.

When I think about it, there is envy. There is me being blinded by attachment. There is deep care. I can never hear disrespect toward you. I am never embarrassed by your existence. I always want to see you smile, joyful, cheerful and happy rather than frustrated by your own blindness.

And what I idealised was different. I thought there would be freedom. There would be no attachment. There would be just flowing together, the wind carrying both of us.

Poor me.

Well, I said to you: hurt people hurt people. This is correct for me and you. When we suffer, we do not suffer alone. We share it with the people around us. Every emotion goes the same way. What we have, we give to others. I get that one part of me. I always felt cringe and foolish showing my emotions. That's why I just couldn't face you when I felt overloaded. I didn't want to show that to you. So I just had to run away.

And I don't want this type of love that I cannot share with you. Where I am blinded. Where there is clinginess. Where there is a desire to hold. Rather, I want to let go this time not because of anything else, but because this will go nowhere, and only my intensity is growing. Even though you left the town, it is still heavy for me.

My heart still wants the same things with you.

It is heavy for me to even think about it.