u/Mr_Perpetual

I am in need of advice.

About me: middle aged family with two elementary school aged kids. Spouse and I are self employed lawyers. Located in a west coast state in a vhcol area. Own a home with a 430k balance with 24 years on the loan at 2.75% and it’s a middle class neighborhood at best. Unable to afford to move anywhere locally to a better neighborhood with better schools, safer, higher income area, and a nicer home. Only other debt is 175k student loans at around 6.5% interest (started at 330k and have been aggressively paying down).

I’ve been looking out of state for 2 years and found a great home in the perfect location and it checks all the boxes. Even though the home is worth less than my current home, my monthly expenses will go up by about 1,000 a month. The additional expense is do able and totally worth it to be a great neighborhood for my children and in a way nicer home that I could never afford locally.

I’m scared about the impact of my business and income if I relocate. My spouse mostly works remotely and rarely goes into the office or court. However, I do go to court on a fairly regular basis. I can do most hearing remotely, but for really important hearings those are better to do in person. I estimate anywhere from 5-15 clients per year would fall into that category. I’m extremely anxious that if I relocate it could negatively impact my business and I won’t be able to pay my bills. On the other hand, maybe it will have no impact. I’m also licensed in the state I would move to and would hope to get local business over time, but there are a fair amount of differences that would need time to learn, it would be a process.

The problem is we just finished a bidding war on our dream home and the seller chose us after a long, exhausting process. I have to put a deposit tomorrow and non refundable option fee. I’m feeling extremely anxious that I might be making a mistake with respect to my business. If it doesn’t work out, I would not be able to afford my current home or any decent homes in my current state, it’s an irreversible move if I sell my home. I need the funds from my current home to fund the new one.

Overall:

If I move: 10x nicer home in a upper class neighborhood with great schools, safe area, amazing place for kids to grow up, dream home. Overall less debt, but higher overall cost of about 1k a month until the 300k new loan is paid off at 5.5% 15 year fixed.

Cons: my business may suffer and I’ll be in a very bad position. I have two kids to provide for. I’m turning 40, I’m not young and in a great position to take risks. However, my current home is in a sub par neighborhood with mediocre schools, and it’s a bad feeling that I work so damn hard and there is zero chance of upward mobility for me in my current state.

If I back out my realtors going to be pissed, my wife is very disappointed and upset with me, and I’m very stressed out!! Part of me wants to say f it and just do it and see what happens. The other part of me says i must be a major idiot to disrupt a very successful and thriving business, even though it’s not enough to allow me to move in my locale.

Any advice would be appreciated!!

Tl;dr move and risk business for a better life or stay put and don’t jeopardize a stable life.

I am in need of advice.

About me: middle aged family with two elementary school aged kids. Spouse and I are self employed lawyers. Located in a west coast state in a vhcol area. Own a home with a 430k balance with 24 years on the loan at 2.75% and it’s a middle class neighborhood at best. Unable to afford to move anywhere locally to a better neighborhood with better schools, safer, higher income area, and a nicer home. Only other debt is 175k student loans at around 6.5% interest (started at 330k and have been aggressively paying down).

I’ve been looking out of state for 2 years and found a great home in the perfect location and it checks all the boxes. Even though the home is worth less than my current home, my monthly expenses will go up by about 1,000 a month.
The additional expense is do able and totally worth it to be a great neighborhood for my children and in a way nicer home that I could never afford locally.

I’m scared about the impact of my business and income if I relocate. My spouse mostly works remotely and rarely goes into the office or court. However, I do go to court on a fairly regular basis. I can do most hearing remotely, but for really important hearings those are better to do in person. I estimate anywhere from 5-15 clients per year would fall into that category. I’m extremely anxious that if I relocate it could negatively impact my business and I won’t be able to pay my bills. On the other hand, maybe it will have no impact. I’m also licensed in the state I would move to and would hope to get local business over time, but there are a fair amount of differences that would need time to learn, it would be a process.

The problem is we just finished a bidding war on our dream home and the seller chose us after a long, exhausting process. I have to put a deposit tomorrow and non refundable option fee. I’m feeling extremely anxious that I might be making a mistake with respect to my business. If it doesn’t work out, I would not be able to afford my current home or any decent homes in my current state, it’s an irreversible move if I sell my home. I need the funds from my current home to fund the new one.

Overall:

If I move: 10x nicer home in a upper class neighborhood with great schools, safe area, amazing place for kids to grow up, dream home. Overall less debt, but higher overall cost of about 1k a month until the 300k new loan is paid off at 5.5% 15 year fixed.

Cons: my business may suffer and I’ll be in a very bad position. I have two kids to provide for. I’m turning 40, I’m not young and in a great position to take risks. However, my current home is in a sub par neighborhood with mediocre schools, and it’s a bad feeling that I work so damn hard and there is zero chance of upward mobility for me in my current state.

If I back out my realtors going to be pissed, my wife is very disappointed and upset with me, and I’m very stressed out!! Part of me wants to say f it and just do it and see what happens. The other part of me says i must be a major idiot to disrupt a very successful and thriving business, even though it’s not enough to allow me to move in my locale.

Any advice would be appreciated!!