u/MsRachyBee

I have two Sonos SL speakers, I've had them for about a year now. They have NEVER worked correctly. I am constantly having to go over, unplug them, re-add them to the app. At first it seemed bi-weekly, but now it's DAILY.

Basically if I want to play music on them I have to disconnect them from the app, restart them physically and add them back.

I won't ever own a Sonos again, I used to love the brand but the new ones and the App are trash right out of the box.

This is somewhat of a hard thing for me to admit, me (40F and my partner (35M) have been together about 6 years. We talk about everything, get along great, but a few things I've brought up as issues he doesn't take seriously.

It's a two part issue, first is his bathroom habits. Most men spend way too much time in the bathroom, he a nervous stomach that dumps food after he eats. He poops a lot, multiple times a day and it's always for a minimum of 1 hour, average time is 2 hours, sometimes 3

He also has an odd work from home/works remotely job, randomly.

When he's home, he stays up until 3 or 4 in the morning. He likes to be up all night, but the problem is that he sleeps in the next day and doesn't start his work until I'm basically off work (I work from home).

He says he can't go to sleep early, but he falls asleep around 9/10pm all the time when we watch TV. I feel like it's mostly because when he's onsite for work he has to be there at 7:30am till 6pm, so he has to be on a normal sleep schedule because his late night schedule isn't possible. So he's constantly shifting between routines, one for home and one for travel, it's a mess.

He also can't use the bathroom for hours when he's gone, it's quick 10-20 minutes, maybe 3 times a day. Which he complains about constantly, but no, he's never gone to a doctor, just says "it's how I am"

Unfortunately this all has started to negatively effect me. I get up at 7am, work until 5pm, consistently. I make sure to use the bathroom by 10am because once he wakes up I can't go pee until his lunch time. It's really a problem when I have, my period or a UTI, or just forget to pee before he gets up.

He wakes up, goes to the bathroom for 2 hours, then comes out to eat... Then goes back to the bathroom for another 2+ hours. He's always on his phone in the bathroom, to the extent he doesn't fully close the door. He talks to me from the toilet all the time, we plan lunch, dinner, meeting friends, all while he's on the toilet. He doesn't hide anything from me, he hands me his phone often to show me stuff or place food orders. He's told me the lock code often (because I forget numbers lol) so it's not a need for privacy, he also doesn't close the door...

I stop work around 5ish, he'll just be settling into his work day at his desk (he does lots of work from his phone/bathroom). We have dinner around 7 or 8, then it's back in the bathroom... He usually wants to watch a movie or show, or hang out before bed but that means together time is 10ish. I'm always tired but end up staying up until midnight with him hanging out (if he doesn't fall asleep). There's a lot of shows we started watching together that I end up finishing while he's asleep or in the bathroom.

My frustration is my life literally evolves around his bathroom/sleep schedule when he's home to the point it's a relief when he travels. When I talk to him about the bathroom time, he shrugs it off as how his bowels work (only at home, never seen a doctor). I point out how awful his sleep schedule is and he tells me his entire family is night owls and it's probably genetic (utter BS). That's always the end of the conversation, just a non starter. He's coming to bed when I get up, and basically working when I go to sleep, so we haven't had time for sex in months... None of this bothers him, as long as he has free will to sit in the bathroom and stay up late he's perfectly content.

Short version: how do I manage boundaries with someone who has bad bathroom habits (8+ hours daily) and a horrible sleep schedule (stays up until 4am, never a consistent sleep schedule)