I think I’m racist to white people how do I stop?
Like the title says I think I’m racist towards white people. I’m Mexican and I feel like because of my childhood and the area I grew up in I’m racist towards where people internally? I would never say anything towards a white person or blame them for something or anything absorb them. But when I’m around white people I get a little uncomfortable and don’t like them because I feel a cultural divide. When I was a kid I dealt with a lot of racism and bullying for being brown I have a huge scar on my knee because when I was 5 a group of white kids pushed me who would always bully me for being brown. I couldn’t defend myself I was mute till around 6 so I didn’t speak and my parents weren’t around much. There’s a lot more that any POC would have experienced their whole life and would know. I don’t want to give more examples because it sounds like excuses but to me it’s just how I was raised. But saying all that it sounds like textbook racism if I were white and said that about a Mexican I’d be racist. While I do think it’s very different I don’t want to think like this but for me it’s almost like instinct to not trust white people. I’m very into politics and race issues so I understand my thinking is wrong and try not to make my opinions involve it but deep down I feel some disdain.
I don’t want to think like this and when I talk about politics I never add it into my thinking as I know it’s wrong but I feel it deep down. I know alot of people think it’s not racist and I do somewhat agree because systemically being white isn’t remotely close to being a POC I don’t want to think like this.