My ex burned the gifts I made for her. Do I do the same? (And backstory)
Option 1:
I do wanna burn her gifts because she said that "good thing I broke up with you" after I talked my feelings to her. It was all nothing for her. She wanted me to chase her, and when we broke up, she compared me to her lesbian ex who used to come at her doorstep when they had a fight
Option 2:
Leaving everything behind, I truly believe that person I dated and the person who was very rude and not caring towards me during the breakup, are two different people. I literally think and feel two different moods when I remember them separately. I miss the girl I used to love, and feel unfathomable disgust toward the girl who said all the mean things about me. I miss the sweet girl who hugged me and held my hand on the first date.
Because of the feelings I have left, I can't bear to burn the gifts that mean so much to me (first love letter I ever had in 19 years of my life, and I felt loved, truly. Her hairtie, I used to wear around my wrist for 8 months since our first date. And the keychain she made me from clay. )
Our relationship lasted 9 months, but it was the best 9 months I ever had.
She told me that she did not love me because I was the same every day (she felt no adventure), and she was tired of me being too innocent. When we broke up, I blocked her because I did not wanted to stay friends with the person who did not love me. She got mad that I blocked her "like a child/girl" and called me a pretender.
She talked about the breakup with my friends months before she told me which hurts me more when I think about it. Even her childhood best friend whom she knows for 11 years have picked my side.
I have said some stuff about her in rage and regret everything I have done with her, I think that everything I had with her is a lie.
So while one half of me wants to burn it all, the other half of me still wants to keep everything.