u/Mundane_Country5523

I’ve been struggling to figure out to handle this. We have 24 cabinets (5 are large drawers) in the kitchen (most of them very large) and my roommate has every single one stuffed full with her stuff. When I’ve tried to move stuff around so it’s easier to find things she gets very upset and asks me to do this with her but she never makes time or makes up an excuse when I’ve asked to work on it. She also never cleans or organizes on her own time. Before we moved in together we both said we would downsize so that we could both coexist and I was the only one that got kid or anything.

I just want space for my stuff. We have 6 pantry cabinets that are quite large and I never have room for groceries because every shelf is full of her stuff. I don’t have much stuff but would like to have the option for space and would like to split up everything 50/50.

Here is the problem: I divided up everything this afternoon just to see how it would work and I can see how she will get upset because her stuff will be very cluttered and crammed in together because she has so much, but it stress me out never being able to find any of my own belongings. I have one set of cutlery to her 5 sets. I have two pans and one pot compared to her 20+. She also isn’t really much of a cook and doesn’t use most of this stuff, but I know it’s her stuff and she has a right to it, but it seems a bit unfair? Maybe I’m overreacting.

Has anyone dealt with this and have any tips on how to handle it? She is the kind of roommate who will get very upset if I ask her if she can help with cleaning or wash her dishes and will throw it back in my face that “you did x thing so you can’t say anything to me about this.” It makes it very difficult to communicate because it always starts a fight.

I know we need to talk before I move things around but I’m so over it. I’m planning on moving out next summer and want to have all my stuff separate because she has taken and broken my things or let bowls of mine grow mold in them because she left them sitting in her room.

I will admit that I don’t really want to move everything back. But should I before talking to her about it again?

How often do you clean with multiple pets and/or roommate other people in the home? I feel like the house is somehow always a train wreck. I have 3 cats and my roommate has 1 dog and 1 cat. She wears shoes in the house which I think is part of the issue.

We have dark brown flooring, so I feel like it makes the floor look even dirtier because you can see the white fur or footsteps super easily. I mop 2-3x a week. I do laundry once a week, vacuum every other day. I clean my bathroom once a week. Wipe the kitchen down every day, and clean the cat boxes/bowls twice a day and somehow the house still looks like it’s gone 2 weeks with no cleaning.

Are the robot vacuums worth it? Should I push no shoes even more? She wears house shoes but she wears them outside so they definitely track in dirt and the dog does too. I know when I lived alone this wasn’t as much of an issue. I would appreciate any tips or schedule you use to stay on top of cleaning and nontoxic cleaning products! I just use vinegar and dish soap for mopping.

Thank you!