He used to do that a lot back in the days, and it used to anger me a lot since I was very repressed and an egg. But now, he did it again, but after having accepted myself, and comming out to my friend group, and it was very funny and ewwphoric to hear that.
I need to vent
So, a few days ago a trans friend of mine called me an egg for fun after we had a conversation. At the time, I found that funny. It lead me here.
After discovering that I am bi, I started hanging with queer friends. They're really nice and made me feel safe, as my familly is pretty homophobic and transophobic.
I've talked with them about things I never told anyone about my sexuality and identity. After making a joke, one trans friend teased me about being an egg. I laughed it off and though it was nothing.
But then I started overthinking. I've always had a female oc all my life. In any game, story, anything were you had to make a character I made a woman. Even in ttrpg and dnd campaigns with non queer friends. I've spent a lot of time lurking on trans subreddits because it felt right.
I've even envied female characters in different medias. I realised that I always wished I could have been born as a woman.
The problem is, that I don't think I'll ever manage to pass. To look myself in the mirror and see a real woman. To be accepted by my familly. To be accepted by my other friends. I feel like I'm just going to suffer more and more and never really manage to accomplish anything and just end up ruining my life.
So i'm here now, sitting on a bench outside at 2 am, writting a post on reddit, feeling like shit. Even if I've stoped thinking like my parents a long time ago, I still feel like an aberration, an error. I feel like I shouldn't have ever oppened this door and better stayed ignorant. I feel like I should just forget and go back to sleep and never remember any of that. I don't even know why I'm posting this.
Edit : it's 4 am now. I feel better, thanks to all of your answers. I think I can finally go to sleep. I just want to say thank you for all of the support and kind words. It means a lot. Good night.
I recently joined the Ring after quitting my old fixer office.
I was a grade 4 fixer, aiming to be grade 1 one day, working for an office to survive and pay the bills. Life wasn't too bad, but I always felt like something was missing.
A few months ago, our job took us to a fauvist gallery. We had to stay there for a while, and I decided to take a look at some of the works there.
I was mesmerized. Art truly is the light that shines on this monotonous City. I became obsessed with the work you people do. I started researching about different schools of art, and even tried creating some myself. I realized this was what I was meant to do.
I finally decided to quit my office to fully join the ring a few weeks ago.
The problem is, that my former coworkers don't understand why. They believe our beloved art is a either barbaric exhibit of pointless violence, or a complete waste of time. I have tried showing them the beauty of it, but they are stubborn. They refuse to understand our vision.
Despite our different opinions, I do wish to keep contact and stay friends with some of them, but they told me that they "don't want to be friends with a psycho".
What should I do ?