I had a car accident and I am spiraling
First off I am so upset and angry, it was 100% the other guys fault, the cop even wrote that in the police report because the guy tried to lie!!!!! Fucking scum bag, he also started to say his hand hurt only when the cops showed up and put up a handicap sign too lol, turns out the cop said it wasn't even his car so probably not his tag
I was driving in the left lane on a two lane highway when traffic in the right lane started to slow maybe 15-20 mph below what they were travelling at already because of on ramp traffic up ahead, I supposed I could have slowed expecting maybe someone could try and cut me off, but my lane was keeping that speed so I followed suit. This guy was inpatient and just merged right into the passenger front side of my car and destroyed the entire front end without putting on his blinker or anything, also it was not a slow merge, it was like he just quickly yanked his wheel like he was defending a position in F1 into me
Cars and motorsports are my special interest, especially Rally and that was actually my dream car, there is not a single other car in the entire world I would rather have. It was also the only thing I kept when I changed careers last year, I am now making like 1/4 of my old income and I sold my home gym, downsized, then moved back in with my mom which is hell but worth it for my new career, and through all that, I knew the car was an extra expense but it was my dream and worth it every single time I saw or drove it, now I am fucked no matter what happens, if it is fixed, it will never be the same, I will always listen to for noises and be fighting gremlins, if it is totalled, I cannot afford to go and buy another one until I get more established in my new field which could take another 5 years, and by then I might be priced out of being able to afford it because I know when they discontinue it, the price will rise even more, I mean it raised in value $4k after I drove it off the lot lol
I did all my own work on it, did the minor modifications myself, I would wash it twice a week in the winter because I live in the rust belt and once a week in the summer to keep it pretty. I would just go on drives and enjoy it, I would not even need to go fast to enjoy it.
If anyone wants to hear what it sounds like, I made a post with a video after I installed my intake, it makes all the noises you want a JDM turbo car to make.
I am so sad, the only thing in the entire world I loved more than that car is my dog who I pretty much treat like a child.
Now I feel this event is making me spiral, I used to have an anger problem and I can feel it resurfacing. I am also wanting to smoke a lot more weed which is never a good thing.
I just started dating again over the last few months and have actually been really enjoying the process for once instead of just constant anxiety, but I feel like now I am emotionally unstable and probably should not present myself in front of the few people I have been seeing.
I just feel like everytime I take a couple steps foward, life happens and I get kicked 2 or 3 steps back, some choices and times were 100% my fault, but these past few years have felt like a kick when I am down.
I have been trying to save money too but I just had to spend money on 2 failed fillings that needed to be turned into expensive crowns so that was like $2k down the drain, I do not regret that at all, I love my teeth and want the best for them, but it hurt and I was not expecting it, then literally JUST before the accident by TWO DAYS I bought $1500 worth of tires and an alignment for my car, so now that is down the drain too, that I regret, wish I waited a week or something then I would have that money. I am supposed to be doing a lot of work this summer in my new field but now my car will take who knows how long to repair because it has bespoke rare parts made in one factory in japan, meaning I am out of a vehicle and America's public transport in rural areas is non-existent unless you have bezos money to spend on uber everywhere.
I was also driving to a potluck at the time and made 5 pounds of sticky oyster sauce wings and now I just have 5 pounds of chicken and I am never going to be able to eat all this.
I have started all the insurance processes and have a body shop lined up to do the inspection/work, part of me thinks best case scenario in my current situation is the car gets deemed totalled in a week or two from now and I can just buy a new cheaper car, probably just a miata or something half the price but still enjoyable for me, I need transportation, I especially cannot be stuck at my mothers for extended periods of time feeling trapped like I did during childhood.
This is off topic but I actually despise my family, so the more I am around them the worse I do, they are not good people and they do not know or care about me. They also either directly abused me as a child or neglected to protect me from said abuse when informed, so I still hold grudges, I mean I joined the marine corps the escape them and it actually felt like heaven compared to back home lol. I just view my family as a tool to use now, my parents brought me into this world without my consent, so no matter what in my eyes a caretaker or parent must always give priority to the one being cared for, an example, I hike my dog 6 times a week because I know he needs it, even in rain or snow, he loves it, so I give his needs priority, when I am really sick and genuinely am stuck in bed, I can see how upset he gets when he doesn't stick to his routine, dogs love routines like we do. I have never once felt a priority to my family and have been let down in major events by them multiple times when needing their assistance.