u/Mysterious-Place4738

destiny can define anything maybe it’s marriage/spouse/going foreign/education anything..

destiny can define anything maybe it’s marriage/spouse/going foreign/education anything..

I see there are lots of male profiles and how girls are bombarded with messages/match requests etc on these online platform. how tiring has this been? I bet even if you ain’t flexible there are lot many options available…how’s your parents reaction been? is it lethargic? are they irritated? ( Comments like This guy doesn’t earn and has audacity to match request etc? This guy doesn’t look good and wanna have alliance with us….something like this? )

i remember my mom said, once she created a profile for my sister, and they were bombarded with profiles earning from Lakhs to Cr’s. And my sis had bf and parents were chill too so we didn’t continue that route.

Rejected as in from initial phase only umatched [without talking]….ofc everyone is window shopping at this point.

but did you guys got any approval post denial match? did you discuss this with prospect? (mostly parents handle matching etc)

I have been seriously thinking about moving back. My visa expires next yr, so have a yr left for lottery but don’t really wanna get stuck in loop of visa once again.

I have paid out my education loan, have lil savings (incl retirement accounts) with me. already am 30 yr old…(H1 gets picked at age of 31, then spouse working visa by 35 doesn’t make sense if immigration remains same).

Had call with my manager on context if H1 doesn’t get picked up what’s the option, they said we will have to crunch some numbers but India/ Canada is an option. If required they will get me on L1 later on (but am not really interested unless spouse also gets working visa).

I just had questions from veterans here, are companies usually open for internal transfer? How did you ask your management for transfer? I bet my salary (in IT but not SWE/devops) will have a huge hit even though I don’t stay in Texas or Cali or Ny but will be significant hit. Stay kindoff LCOL wage LV2 with bonus + stocks Lvl3. Am even fine with /3 of what I earn here lol.

and please don’t debate etc 😅.

This is more about interesting/weird/funny requests made by parents to you (as a prospect) and your reaction:

one of my friend, was asked a leetcode problem lol, the girls dad is a manager in WITCH company :)

I was asked by a girls dad to spend a day with him, I was visiting India for 14 days holiday trip :) —— And I said NO while bursting out in laughter :) I was fine with a lunch but not a day with an uncle :)

I have been asked salary slips, and am fine with that…

nothing else yet!! Wondering what’s some weird/interesting/ crazy/funny requests y’all got?

if someone has rejected my profile and I ( by mistake) visited their profile, do they get notification that xyz visited 😆😢. They are vip member as well. it seems like am stalking them but ain’t do anything like that. just by mistake tapped the profile.
is it the same case for jeevansathi.

is it from your D1’s 8th H? Since it’s 2nd from your 7th H?

For US NRI maybe it’s uncertainty, there is visa issues etc. Maybe there are some issues with other country visa’s too, or not many are looking forward to NRI’s now.
But for back home folks? [Gender neutral post]

is it because now matches are being found via online platform unlike years ago when it was through family connections or societies where the matches were limited to regions mostly. Now we have lots of options and it’s causing confusion (may not be the right word).
Or everyone is targeting higher than they should target lol.

is it from your D1’s 9th 10th H? Since it’s 4th from your 7th H?

how?

if he’s able to see your past? confirm them?

or is there anything else??

and if you know someone such, why do u think he’s the one?

People who have been looking since maybe 3-4 years +, what are some mistakes or misunderstandings you had about AM process?

I am still a newbie so can’t really share much but can learn from your experiences.

Please consider this a genuine discussion post and not a place to judge or attack each other over preferences. Everyone has different priorities in arranged marriage, and most filters usually come from lifestyle compatibility, upbringing, and practical concerns rather than hatred toward others.

What are some of your filters? these can be some initial filters worth discussing about….

For example, some of my own filters/preferences are:

• Similar upbringing/background: I come from a service family and we shifted cities every 4–5 years growing up, so I naturally feel more connected to someone who understands that lifestyle (central/state govt, army etc family)
• Financial compatibility: not in a flashy way, but similar family lifestyle and expectations matter. Roughly speaking, families tend to look within somewhat similar socioeconomic ranges because it avoids mismatch in expectations. For example shaadi has 10-30L, 30L-70L and 70L+ ranges. 70L is a lot for my family. Sweet spot would be 20-50L I think.
• Diet preference: I’m vegetarian (fine with eggs), so similar food habits matter to me for long-term compatibility.
• Language/culture: Since I belong to a Hindi-speaking household, I feel more comfortable with someone who shares that cultural environment.
• Education/family environment: A reasonably educated and balanced family setup is important to me.
• Religion: I’m a practicing Hindu, so naturally I prefer someone from the same faith.
• Caste/community: Whether people agree with it or not, caste/community still ends up being a filter in a lot of AM setups because families are more comfortable with familiar customs and social circles. In my case too, I rarely see cross-community matches easily accepted around me, even match requests are rejected.

None of this means others are “lesser”; these are just compatibility filters.

I never thought that way, but considering my age (30) and how minimal prospects am getting who wanna move forward, since most of the female’s parents are looking for folks staying in India. I somehow regret my decision of moving to US. I don’t even know how to ask my company to transfer me (they do transfer to Canada/india if you have no h1 attempts left, I just hope I never get selected).

most of the folks keep on rejecting me because am in US 😭😭 I do acknowledge their point of view, but if I was in India even earning /3 salary, I bet the situation would have been much easier (even few prospects through family had been rejected cuz am in the greatest nation of the world 🎃 whose president is a peaceful person)

does life get lil better? Do things improve?
i think am gonna ask my manager about internal transfer now….

just letting my late night thoughts win here.

a prospect‘s parents (possibly) via usual apps rejected my profile couple of months back (both our accounts are handled by parent), I know the reason of rejection mostly my non Indian location.

But did anyone of you approached a prospect privately maybe through insta or blog or fb? I felt we had good match considering family background (parent being transfer prone officers), education wise….

and if you did, how to not make it sound creepy? I am male :( I will chatgpt too btw to transfer me non creepy DM.

just letting my late night thoughts win here.

a prospect via usual apps rejected my profile couple of months back (both our accounts are handled by parent), I know the reason of rejection mostly my non Indian location.

But did anyone of you approached a prospect privately maybe through insta or blog or fb? I felt we had good match considering family background (parent being transfer prone officers), education wise….

and if you did, how to not make it sound creepy? I am male :( I will chatgpt too btw to transfer me non creepy DM.

I started feeling bad for myself.

so many beautiful profiles so so many good looking, good earning, good education and seemingly smart profiles I can see of girls that I rejected myself even before sending request.

Just to check, I created a female profile, to see guys profile, and wow am just mid af, some are better educated, earning more than me, have better body, hairs I stand no where them and don’t know why it’s also taking lot of time for them too. Not sure if they f up when they speak or something but yeah on paper they look good. Also that, haar cheez ka samay hota hai maybe it’s true.