I forgive my gf for cheating
On my 22nd birthday, I found out that my girlfriend cheated on me with another guy. The worst part is that technically, she cheated on him with me too, because she knew him before we even started dating. We were together for 9 months ,, 9 months of what felt like pure love. Our families knew each other, everything felt serious, and now it feels like it was all for nothing.
And the sad truth is… I chose to stay with her. Maybe that makes me an idiot. But honestly, at the beginning of our relationship, during the first month, I also had a superficial sexual encounter with another girl I knew. That’s one of the reasons I felt like I couldn’t act like the perfect man or judge her as if I was innocent too. The difference is that I stopped. She continued talking to him , a guy she had known for over a year.
She still doesn’t know about what I did.
Now it’s been a month since I found out, and even though I forgave her, I can’t forget it. The trust is broken. Whenever we’re not together, my mind starts overthinking. I keep asking myself: what’s stopping her from doing it again? Even if she ended things with that guy, how can I know for sure? Maybe she’s talking to someone else now. Maybe she just got better at hiding it.
I hate that I even think like this now. I can barely sleep at night. I’m constantly anxious, constantly overthinking, constantly worried. Sometimes I want to check her phone just to calm my mind, but I rarely even have access to it anymore.
She promised me she would work on rebuilding the trust, but honestly… I don’t feel like I’m healing at all.