u/Natural_Play1379

I have a 3 week class in Rishikesh. I'm flying in and out from Delhi. I really want to see both Ladakh and Kerala. Any suggestions? Ladakh is a one hour flight away from Rishikesh (then I have to fly one hour from Ladakh to Delhi to fly home), and Kerala is 5 hours flight from Rishikesh (then I would have to fly 3-4 hours to get from Kerala to Delhi Thinking the obvious choice is Ladakh, is it worth it? I've been to India before and didn't have the time (or money) to go there, but it intrigues me! Thanks! (...And I know Kerala and Ladakh are completely different and possibly hard to say which is more intriguing from a travel sense).

I have gone to childhood trauma therapy. The therapist suggests that we do a session with my mom. I am not interested for one reason: she swears she can't for the life of her remember any of the abuse (mostly mental, but early and often), I felt like it destroyed my life, as she never hesitated to tell me how stupid I was, how I could use losing some weight, comparing me to her friend's kids (in intelligence and even height lining us back to back to show how I was older yet shorter) dragging me around the house forcefully to show me how I didn't clean well enough and so very much more.

It's not physical abuse but man, it really messed me up. I have insane insecurity and have never had a long-term relationship. Men ask me why I'm unwilling to accept love. She is always in my head shaming me for whatever I'm doing today, decades later, like loading the dishwasher "wrong". Have any of you had experience with a parent who says it didn't happen? It's sad because my Dad and I get along, but I'm going on year 15 of not being to their house because it triggered me so much seeing her. So now he has to literally fly if he wants to see me:( It sounds minor I'm sure after reading many posts here but her in my head screaming at me gets me to this day nearly on a daily basis and the whole not remembering any of it feels so cruel to me!

Not to mention, I'm sure she's extremely happy that she's driven me out of the family home, she simply never liked me, saw me as competition for my Dad, and now she has her wish, I'm gone, feels like she "won".

Once I made a birthday card for her when I was in college, and her only response instead of saying thanks was “how did you find the time to do this?” As in, you’re a time wasting failure who wants to write cards instead of being productive. I mean, that's my translation knowing her for over 40 years. My head is pounding almost daily with flashback of the insults and put-downs to this day, telling me what a worthless person I was (and still feel like) Everything I did was wrong. Always.