u/Natural_Sherbert_413

I'm considering letting go of our newish nanny who's been around for a little over a month. For context, I have an 8 mo baby girl.

In the time that we've worked with her, we have had multiple points of friction, including:

- When the baby is crying, she won't physically pick her up and comfort her. She keeps repeating "we're fine, we're fine". And the baby sits there looking sad. Happened even after we tried to give her feedback about this.

- She's very rigid about routines, for example, she will continue changing a non-poopy diaper as part of the routine even if the baby is in an already unregulated state.

- Tends to externalize blame: for example, she says that the baby is unable to fall asleep because we (the parents) did not follow _her_ sleep routine on the weekends. Turns out my baby hadn't been able to fall asleep because she was hungry. Multiple instances of blaming us during a challenging situation. Because we asked her to be more responsive to baby's fussy cues instead of letting her get all the way to crying, now apparently, she can't make baby's food because baby may cry.

- Has dropped the ball on all baby-related chores, including doing baby laundry, baby food and taking out diaper trash.

And the biggest red flag to me is that my usually happy baby is never happy to see her!

At first, I was hesitant to fire her without giving her an ultimatum. But now I feel like there is a major mismatch and she just won't work for our household. A few recent incidents have tipped us over to this.

Since she's still relatively new, hopefully we can all part ways and find someone better suited.

What do you all think?

If you're a WFH parent with a nanny caring for your baby at home during the work hours, what is your policy around hard crying? I'm distinguishing between fussy light protest-y crying, and escalated, clearly-in-pain-or-distress type of crying. My 8 mo daughter only does the latter rarely. When it does happen my heart stops for a moment, and it takes immense self-restraint to not go and rescue her right away.

We've had our nanny for about a month now, and in keeping with the recommended best practices, I'm trying to give them their own space and not intervene when things go wrong.

Today there was an instance of that distress crying for about five minutes -- sounded like the baby got hurt. She was able to calm her down, and they seemed fine afterwards. I did not barge in despite my instincts shouting to do so. I did message the nanny asking what it's about, and she seemed to have hurt her nails by scratching a surface. When I saw the baby later, she was smiling and seemed fine.

I do wonder though -- was I a bad parent by not stepping in when the baby is clearly in distress?