u/Nearby_Seaweed3934

I am 29 year old NEET from india survived all these times doing odd jobs and i know i have potential but whenever it comes to a taking or preparing for a better opportunity my mind plays trick with me. In india everything is competitive and people bribe others to get he job.Whenever i have to study my adhd brain pops questions like "u r evil u take away someone else's opportunity" and mentally torment me. I cannot take this anymore what can i do about it?I tried powering through it and i cannot, how can i be thriving and not be evil?

I have been working at indiapost at ABPM for last 3 years, it is literally the worst job one can get next to septic tank cleaner.This post is a cautionary tale for people to steer clear their life from India post

1:You are not a staff, indiapost doesn't consider it's postman and postmasters as their staff , only department(uniform) postmen are considered staff so 8/10 of their own workers are not considered their workers because indiapost will have to pay them a livable wage

2:your salary is just 15000 for working 25 days a month

3:Department says u will only have to work from 9-1 in reality u will have to work for 3or even 4pm

4:Distance are anywhere from 15-30kms, a postman would have to go 30kms in hilly or roadless areas just to deliver a 2.5 rupees letter

5: U have to endure rain , and summer heat and u only get health issues , no insurance of help from department

6:Parcels : No infrastructure or bag is even provided to you to deliver parcel a postman has to handle huge parcels, letters and sometimes they have to do multiple runs in this 20km area just to end day(not even current or computer in many offices)

7: Target : indiapost gives unrealistic target pressures to GDS to convince the central government that it is still worth kept operational.India post makes 15000 crore annualy and bleeds 20000 crore around in operations mosts going to salary and pensions for babus pf which none are seen by GDS , GDS will be worked to death for babus to convince their existence to government.

In summary if this godawful blood sucking organisation just implodes with all its sarkari afsars it would be a net positive to every humble taxpayer.(Personal opinion)

Be warned if you take up this job u will have to deliver 50-60 ordinaries 20-30 registereds(with parcel ofcourse buy a 100l capacity bag and you are good) in normal day that is about 80-90 houses u will have to visit a say, if you are unlucky it will be 70-100+ ordinaries and 40+ registereds .

Tldr : It's slavery and one of the structures left behind by British Raj and if u r in u r life is wasted

Whenever I try to do something to improve my life, like applying for a better job, my mind constantly tells me that I am evil for trying to 'take away' someone else's chance. It constantly accuses me of being evil, and it hurts my mental health so much that I cannot force myself to work. Do you have any advice?"