Someone please tell me it gets better. 8 week old twins, I love them so much but I honestly cannot cope with how much work it is. They are constantly wired and don’t sleep, I don’t get it. No matter the amount of soothing I do they just won’t sleep and eventually scream crying because they’re so over tired… I watch wake windows religiously but it just doesn’t seem to matter
I’m struggling with resentment toward my MIL after having twins and I don’t really know how to move forward.
During my pregnancy she constantly overstepped with unwanted advice and criticism. She would tell me what I should and shouldn’t eat, comment on my weight, recommend diet pills her friend was taking, etc.
Now that the twins are here, it’s somehow worse. When the girls were only 7 days old and I was freshly postpartum, she pointed out what felt like 10 different things we were supposedly doing wrong as parents or things she thought were wrong with the babies. I cried hysterically on the drive home because I was already struggling emotionally and physically postpartum.
My partner did confront her, but it immediately became about how SHE was the victim and how she was “being treated like an asshole.” Things calmed down for a little while, but I later saw messages between her and my partner where she was still criticizing the girls based on photos sent in the family group chat
Now I feel anxious whenever she visits because I’m scared she’ll start with the unsolicited advice and criticism again and it’ll upset me. I also resent her a lot now, which I hate because I do respect her and don’t want conflict.
The issue is there’s also a language barrier, so I feel nervous confronting her directly because she misunderstands me a lot of the time. My partner says he’s already said everything that needs to be said, but it just doesn’t seem to get through to her.
I guess I’m wondering if anyone else has dealt with this kind of MIL dynamic postpartum? How do you set boundaries without causing a massive family fallout?