I think my medication has made me realise I have ASD.
Hellooo so i'm a M19 and on elvanse 50mg, started in 30mg worked my way up. I've been on the medication for about a month and a week now I'd say. Elvanse has been a total life changer for me. Genuinely, mentally I feel so much better. I can actually comprehend my thoughts and do things? I can clean, I can read books now? It's genuinely shocking. I didn't know life could be this easy.
Discussion of possibility of ASD:
However, there are some caveats. Socially, I often feel much more lost? I'm so so so much quieter. I have always been told I was a relatively quiet person, but when I open up I'm super loud/chatty. But now? I just feel like I never know what to say, I never speak on "impulse" and defo over-analyse what I'm going to say before I say it. I just feel like I don't understand social queues whatsoever now. I've always struggled with eye contact heavily, but do attempt to mask that. I don't know. It's just hard. I also feel less willing to "preform" in a way to please people now. If theres a social event, and I know I will have to act in a way I wouldn't naturally, I simply won't go now. I often feel socially overwhelmed so much more now. I think I've lost my ability to mask?? Now theres only a select group of people i know feel safe with? I've become so much more monotone too.
Sorry for yapping so long. But what I'm getting at is I believe I could have autism, which was masked majority of my life from my ADHD traits. And now I'm medicated, years of masking is all kind of falling away? Also, I've always used alcohol to socialise and now i genuinely don't feel the need anymore. Drinking, just doesn't interest me anymore. I will once and a while, if i hang out with friends but I don't feel like I need to drink (plus, these are the days I don't take meds-obviously my adhd traits are prevalent and I can socialise). My mother suspects she herself has autism, she opened up to me about it after my ADHD diagnosis. I suspect my father has ADHD.
I just feel like i need to pick between being social and being medicated. I don't really know what to do. Feeling at a loss.