meta problems
Hi so this is a long story but I’ll try to keep it short and sweet. My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years and are primary partners (let’s call her Jessica). We live together and have plans to get married and have kids. My girlfriend has another partner who she’s been with for about 5 years (let’s call them Sam). Sam and Jessica don’t see each other very often (a couple times a month usually) and Sam always said they didn’t want kids, living together, marriage, etc.
Sam knew for about a year prior to us living together that we had plans to move in together. A few months before it happened Sam had a huge freak out and said they’re not comfortable with me and Jessica living together and made an explicit ask for us to postpone. Sam said they needed more time but couldn’t give an amount. Sam said actually they want cohabitation, marriage, etc. w Jessica and aren’t comfortable w me doing that with her. I told Jessica either we move in together or break up, and we moved in together. We have always had an agreement about relationship escalator steps being exclusive with one another, and she reaffirmed that’s what she still wants with me and not with Sam. I also asked for a transition from kitchen table to parallel. The thought of being around someone who wants to steal my partner away makes me want to throw up, and I know partners can’t be stolen away but ugh emotionally it still feels that way.
I feel like I’ve set all the boundaries I can but I still feel nauseous thinking about Jessica still being with Sam. Any advice?