u/Neurotic-MamaBear

We have plans to head to Good Harbor this weekend (have pass). How have the greenheads been lately?

He was supposed to move out 8/1, or at least that’s what we all assumed because he signed a lease for that date. Our kids were away at sleep away camp for the last two weeks of July and I assumed he was going to be packing up all of his things during those child-less weeks, so that he’d be ready to leave on 8/1. I noticed that NOTHING was packed but didn’t say anything bc it’s not my effing job to manage him, especially not now.

The day before the kids came back, he asked if I can give him “some time this weekend” to get things ready for the new place, go buy things, etc. I asked why he didn’t do that while our kids were away, and he couldn’t answer that.

He is still at the house, nothing packed yet, barely anything moved (aside from one chair and one end table).

It has been confusing for me and the kids because we don’t understand why he hasn’t moved. The kids have asked me, and I don’t have an answer for them. I feel like it’s giving them hope but he won’t see it that way, he never sees it my way. And then sometimes, I feel some hope of my own, like maybe he wants to work things out and we can work past this and heal? Because I am so tired, that a big part of me wants to just say “fuck it.. I’ll deal with this for x more years until the kids are out of the house”.

But then he asks me to walk the dog when he knows I sprained my ankle this weekend, and I’m hit with the reminder that he does not care about me at all. And idk, maybe he forgot that I hurt my ankle because why, all of a sudden, would he remember or notice that I’m hurt? When he couldn’t see that for years, both emotionally and physically, that I was hurt.. like when he would find me crying and didn’t comfort me, or when I had doctor appointment after doctor appointment when I was very ill, and I had to either Uber or ask mom for a ride?

I need to keep reminding myself that he does not care about me, that he does not love me, and that I deserve more. But oh man, it’s so hard to remember that.