u/NeverJustaDream

This place offered a refund after work didn't go as expected but wanted a signed contract that asks for confidentiality including the existence of the contract itself as well as non-disparagement to any source. The enforceability/legality of this is quite questionable from research.

This place has that 'too good to be true' look to its ratings. I guess this kind of practice explains things if you can just pay people for their silence. They also do a semi-review gate where it links to google reviews if you're happy but it also has an internal review form if you're not. Also I've been seeing non-favorable ratings get removed. 

Would definitely not recommend this office. Dentist handled the situation about as poorly as possible, avoided any accountability, and came off as inexperienced despite not being a new grad. I've also experienced really off-putting attitude from staff even before any of this.

How would you feel about the gag clause? Anyone else have a similarly poor experience?

I recently talked to my parents about what I consider to be their failures as parents. Stuff that I have been holding in for what feels like forever (I am in the 25-35 age range), and I wanted to get it all out.

1. Never having learned English despite 25+ years in the States. I had to deal with what should have been their responsibilities since I was a kid. My mom said they never abused me, but I told them parentification is 100% abuse. And as for why..they said they never had time..but now they're saying they got too old. 25+ years in the States, came here early 30s at the oldest.
2. They never checked in on how I was feeling internally. When I was getting bullied, when kids were being racist, I just held that all in. I never thought to say anything to anyone or do anything about it because I was never taught to defend myself. Honestly that is still me - I hold everything to myself. I also do not feel like my parents taught me much at all in terms of anything, and I had to go about my learning like I don't have any parents.
3. Lack of safety: My parents had previously been involved in..illegal activities. Long story short: we could have easily all died. My dad had a stint in jail for it. I had too although I wasn't directly involved.
4. Lack of stability: For middle+high school, I averaged >1 school per year. Had also moved states multiple times.
5. My dad is like..the type to do things fast as the biggest priority and never worry about the quality of it. Needless to say he has made some TERRIBLE decisions. One of those is most definitely the decision to have me.

My mental health issues started extremely young. Only got worse as life went by. And they are such a tremendous hindrance that quite literally affect every waking moment, every single thing I do.

Despite everything, I did manage to graduate from what people consider a 'top' school, especially for the major. I did end up in big tech for a few years. But I graduated late even with the help of academic accommodations, and I only managed to get that job (and late as well, started over half a year after graduating) after easily over 500+ applications and many, many failures in a super hot market. I have such a tremendously hard time passing interviews because I just completely blank out as a consequence of my conditions. And maintaining a job..I literally cannot at this point because it destroys my mental health even more to the point that I become non-functional (eg..literally being unable to go outside, at all).

I let all this out to my parents and I felt great afterwards. To their credit they were mostly apologetic. But beyond that day..I don't feel like this even changed anything. Yes this conversation was long overdue. Yes I got it out. But what does it change? It does not make up for the experience little me had to go through - no child should be brought into a situation that is not only unsafe, unstable, lacking in care but also to be treated like a tool.

It doesn't change how much time was wasted that I'd never be able to get back, during a period that is considered to be the prime of our lives. It doesn't change that I am severely behind in some aspects in life. It does not change the fact I'll be living with a permanent mental health issues for the rest of my life - it's not something I can 'cure' because they are fundamentally a part of me. How the hell are you supposed to fix something that is fundamentally broken?

A few years ago I took the risk to escape corporate by starting my own path. I'm still uncertain if I will be successful, but I do see a future in it and can move forward in life. But I still can't shake the feeling that even if I end up successful, I will still hold this resentment forever. I will never be able to say I love my parents. That sucks.