u/NeverSayNeverBaby

hi
not sure what i’m trying to accomplish here by typing this but i genuinely feel like there’s is only one way how to get out.

three years ago i developed anorexia, which led me to drop a lot of pounds and became underweight. after some time this led to me developing bulimia which is present till this day.

ever since i chose recover i gained a lot of weight. i basically got into my start point before my ana. i remember during my underweight period, id look at picture of myself before ed and be genuinely so disgusted.. well now what, that i’m back ?

i spent most of my days just b/ping and it doesn’t stop ever. i’m at point where my life just revolves around that. nothing else.

i’ve tried everything-

- giving in my cravings; that just led me into a month long BED- it never calmed down like everybody kept saying i just keep eating everyday

- therapist; had great tips, dig deep, but in the end id just b/p after every session from all the stress

- group therapy ; worked for a week and nothing

- stopped caring; stopped tracking food, weighting, counting, bought new clothes and didn’t care about the size

everything led into me stuffing my face and couldn’t stopping. after four mi ths of avoiding mirrors i took a video of me. i was absolutely baffled. body dysmorphia led me into thinking i wasn’t that big. oh how i was wrong. i do t recognise myself in the mirror. i don’t recognise myself ever . i don’t know who i am. i lost myself completely. i don’t get joy out of anything. i’m scared what friends that i haven’t seen in long time will think of em since they’ve seen me last when i was that one smallest friend.

i’m ditching uni a lot and just spend my days b/ping. i’m afraid i might get thrown out. my parents dont know.

i geniuenly do t want to be alive anymore. everyday is agony and everyday leads to me stuffing myself until i can’t walk and sticking my head into a toilet.
i just want to die and now feel anything. how freeing can that be.

Hello everyone !!

The reason I’m writing here is, to ask for your help. My father has a friend, who somehow got him into joining a competition in playing your traditional game Ordo, that’s taking place this year in your country.

Since my father is very diligent, he wants to learn the proper technique as precisely as he possibly can.

His concern is that he’s unsure how to properly hold and throw the bone Tompoi into a little bone Alchiky. The main issue is, that he is unsure, how exactly can he get the perfect Tompoi rotation. (this is his quote, that i tried to translate, so hopefully it makes sense)

Apparently he’s been unlucky searching up on youtube and the internet, so now he’s searching for someone to maybe trying to explain it to him better or maybe has a suggestion, where to search. ideally a Kyrgyz, that knows his Ordo :)

I’m not sure if this is a right place and hopefully this isn’t disrespectful in any way. However i’ll appreciate any advice that someone has to share!!

In any case, sending regards to your beautiful country, all the way from the Czech Republic 🇨🇿❤️

pár let zpátky jsem se kamarádila s jednou holčinou, z které jednou takhle vypadlo, že má milostný poměr se svým vysokoškolským profesorem. ženatý s dětmi. ukázala mi i jeho facebook :D

aby to nebylo málo, tvrdila, že takový profesor je tam ještě jeden, ale s tím se zase vídá její spolužačka.

když jsem se jí ptala, zda má z toho jako nějaké výhody, tvrdila, že vůbec. baví jí to jenom z toho principu takového a jeho prý tedy asi taky.

ma otázka je, znáte vy někoho takového ? popřípadě jak časté, si myslíte, že tyto situace nastávají ?

EDIT: mela jsem se zeptat jinak.. zažil jste někdy někdo, že by se ta situace řešila ? :D