u/New-Essay-6436

Where can I meet other straight transfems? Or bi transfems that lived as gay boys pre-transition? Every meet-up of trans femmes I have been to so far has only had trans lesbians, and they couldn't point me in the direction of a straight trans woman. I feel like there's a cultural divide between the trans women that lived as gay boys and those that lives as straight boys pre-transition, and I want to meet more people with a similar experience of the world to mine (I don't know how reddit works, I hate discord, never played D&D, I don't do STEM, the list goes on...).

Asking specifically for London, since I'm going to be living there soon. Preferably people aged early 20s.

Edit: I am a little perplexed by some of the comments that suggest that I am being hostile to trans lesbians or stereotyping them. My trans mom, almost all my transfem friends, almost all the people who have supported me on my journey are trans lesbians. Please do not say hurtful things. I need to meet more people with a similar experience of the world to mine for obvious reasons like community, advice and guidance. Not because I am judging people who are into D&D. I am aware many sapphic transfems do not fit into the culture I briefly alluded to, I am already friends with them. I myself never had any interest in drag. It was in fact my lesbian friends that recommended me to make friends with more straight trans women.

for several years, i identified as transfeminine, had long hair and fem clothing but only started considering hrt seriously last year.

i was horrified of 'twink death' (losing my feminine/androgynous appearance), especially hair loss. i started despite not being sure about breast growth. i was influenced by the very many stories i heard from older trans women around me that told me that identifying as nonbinary and presenting fem in a male body was just a phase for them and hrt made things much better even though they werent sure about some things like breast growth when they started.

3 months in, i drew myself to a crisis point and stopped because i realised that i feel deeply uncomfortable with the tiny amount of breast tissue i developed and miss my androgynous flat chest dearly. neither did i feel comfortable with my new experience of the world in which my experiences started aligning more with straight trans women rather than feminine cis gay men. i also felt quite isolated in this since all of the trans women i knew were sapphic, and i still have not met anyone with similar gender experiences to mine.

i was wrong. i made a mistake. a very expensive one if i opt to take the tissue out through surgery. it has been almost a month since my last shot and my skin is not back to masculine. i still dont experience menopausal symptoms. i took a huge risk and i still do not know if my body is responding right, if my testosterone is back up, or if everything is okay. i am overall fine for now, i just use kt tape. but the guilt and shame and medical uncertainty is making my life miserable.

for anyone reading this, please PLEASE do not go down this route if you are not sure about the permanent changes of hrt (in my case, breast growth). being insecure about aging, and the idea that i would not be able to be feminine as an aging male drove me to this decision. i do not personally blame any of the people who gave me advice in this direction because i believe that this is part of a wider and more pervasive issue in society that does not allow a cultural/affective/phenomenological space between gay man and trans woman. at least not without an age limit.

i started monotherapy 4 mg een per week at 20 years old, took it for 12 weeks normally. i did a blood test at this point that showed 149.5 pg/ml (549 pmol/l) e and 18.08 ng/dl (0.627 nmol/l) t. This is in the perfect recommended e range 100-200 pg/ml (367-734 pmol/l) and recommended t range less than 50 ng/dl (1.7 nmol/l). However my t is unusually suppressed. I do not know my baseline levels.

took my last dose 3.2 mg a couple days ago which was two days later than usual. Now I am ready to quit forever. I am especially unhappy about my experience with breast growth, which I realize is the only permanent effect and take full accountability for it.

I need help. Tell me, what should I expect? I have had some breast growth, that I can hopefully eventually get rid of by claiming gynecomastia. Is this believable or will I have to/should I explain my past HRT experience? I would prefer not to. Will I experience hair loss? Belly fat? Are my t levels likely to go back to normal and the 'menopause-like symptoms' to end within 2 weeks? How much of the breast tissue is likely to shrink? Is the nipple pain going to stop? Should I take another, smaller dose to taper it off next week or is it not necessary at this point and I am better off quitting cold turkey? Do you have any other advice on managing this situation?