u/Next-Professional984

I am looking for an objective reality check on my manager’s behavior. I am autistic, and the sheer chaos of my current workplace has me second-guessing my own accurate perception of events. I need to know if I am overreacting, or if this is textbook bullying and sabotage.
I recently started a role in a UK public sector department. I am highly qualified, naturally fit (5'8", 65kg), and dress in polished, structured executive-style workwear. My manager has been stuck at the same entry-level grade for five years, is overweight, and has a highly volatile, vocal obsession with her own body, food, and gym routine. She also constantly threatens that she is "leaving in three months," though she never does.

Since my first week, she has displayed a pattern of behavior that feels entirely unprofessional:

During my first week, I was doing great, picking up the systems quickly, and naturally bonding with the team on the open floor. She randomly stepped in and forced me and my trainer into a small, isolated room at the back, claiming it would "help me concentrate."

Despite claiming the room was for concentration, last week she repeatedly burst in to cause total chaos. She screamed insults at my trainer (calling him a "dickhead" and a "pussy"), squirted hand sanitiser all over his laptop, and literally tried to staple his clothes together while we were working. It completely fried my concentration on Friday, causing me to make mistakes on the Libra system.

She frequently body-scans me. When I eat a normal sandwich for lunch, she stares coldly and goes completely silent. Recently, I wheeled my chair over to her desk to ask a work question; she completely ignored my face, stared coldly and judgmentally down at my legs (I was wearing a dress and tights), and looked visibly miserable.

She regularly brings wildly inappropriate topics into the workspace. Last week, she burst in to ask my trainer to look at her hair because it was "sticking out at the sides," completely bypassing me. She also openly announced to the room, "I'm so jealous of girls who have regular periods, I've not had one for months."

A senior manager from another department (Dan) walked in recently and told me I should try out for an upcoming court assistant promotion. My manager immediately hijacked the conversation, shouting over me to ask what it pays and what grade it is, completely striking me out of the interaction. She also made a sarcastic comment to my trainer about me looking "smart enough to be the manager."

She has openly threatened to slap another colleague in the office.

Am I right to see this as targeted sabotage and harassment? No job is worth enduring this, and I am fully prepared to leave if it gets worse.

I am looking for some objective reality checks on my manager’s behavior. I am autistic, and I am seriously starting to question my own perception of events because of how chaotic and stressful my workplace has become.
I recently started a role in a UK public sector department. I am highly qualified, and I dress in polished, structured executive-style workwear. My manager has been stuck at the same entry level grade for five years and is constantly dropping threats that she is "leaving in three months," though she never does. She is also heavily overweight and openly struggles with an intense, volatile relationship with her own body, food, and gym routine.

Since my first week, she has displayed a pattern of behavior that feels entirely unprofessional and targeted:

In my first week, I was doing great, picking up the systems quickly, and naturally bonding/chatting with the wider team on the main floor. She randomly stepped in and forced me and my trainer (Charlie) into a small, isolated room at the back, claiming it would "help me concentrate better."

Despite claiming the room was for concentration, last week she repeatedly burst in to cause total chaos. She has been screaming insults at my trainer (calling him a "dickhead" and a "pussy"), squirting hand sanitizer all over his laptop, and literally trying to staple his clothes together while we are working. It completely fried my concentration on Friday, causing me to make mistakes on the Libra system, which left my trainer visibly frustrated and stressed.

She frequently body-scans me. When I eat a normal sandwich for lunch, she stares coldly and goes completely silent. Recently, I wheeled my chair over to her desk to ask a work question; she completely ignored my face, stared coldly and judgmentally down at my legs (I was wearing a dress and tights), and looked visibly miserable.

She regularly brings wildly inappropriate topics into the workspace. Last week, she burst in while I was training to disrupt us and ask my trainer to look at her hair because it was "sticking out at the sides," completely bypassing me. She also openly announced to the room, "I'm so jealous of girls who have regular periods, I've not had one for months."

A senior manager from another department (Dan) walked in recently and told me I should try out for an upcoming court assistant promotion. My manager immediately hijacked the conversation, shouting over me to ask what it pays and what grade it is, completely striking me out of the interaction. She also made a sarcastic comment to my trainer about me looking "smart enough to be the manager."

She has openly threatened to slap my trainer Charlie in the office when he’s been trying to train me

On Friday, my brain was so exhausted from navigating this environment that my performance slipped. My trainer told me to "get some sleep this weekend." I am planning to arrive early at 8:30 AM on Wednesday to tell my trainer privately that I am moving my desk setup back out to the main open-plan floor with the rest of the team to protect my focus.

Am I overreacting to this, or is this active workplace bullying, sabotage, and harassment? How should I handle her reaction when she sees I’ve moved my desk back out to the open floor?

Hey everyone,

I’m posting here because I’ve spent the last 48 hours breaking down every single interaction I’ve had with my temporary line manager over the past few weeks. I honestly need an outside perspective to tell me if I’m overanalysing things, or if this behavior is as toxic and bizarre as it feels.

For context, I am a new starter. I hold a genuine Master’s degree in counselling and have a very quiet, calm confidence. My line manager is on a temporary contract that ends later this month, has been an entry-level grade for five years, and holds a basic certificate in counselling. Since day one, the dynamic has felt incredibly strange.
Here is the exact timeline of events and behaviors:

• on my first week, I went out for lunch on my break. When I came back, she told me, "I thought you’d run away but then I saw you out the window come back." She then directly asked me, "Have you ever run away from a job?"
• when she found out I have a Master’s degree, she immediately claimed in front of the team that she also has a Master’s degree in psychology which turned out to be completely false. She has a bachelors degree with a 2:2
• I brought in a stylish diary/planner. She had the exact same one. When I casually pointed out the shared interest, she became incredibly cold, dismissive, and brushed it off like I had ruined an exclusive status symbol for her.
• Out of nowhere, she loudly announced her weight and BMI to the entire open-plan office, creating a really uncomfortable atmosphere centered around body image.
• One day I came in wearing a professional black blazer, white shirt, and trousers. She looked at a male colleague and said sarcastically, "Look, Sarah looks smart! She should be the manager!”
• Shortly after, she moved my desk away from the main team (where I was building a great rapport) into a back room with one colleague, claiming it was "so you don't get distracted." However, once I was in there, she constantly walked in multiple times a day to interrupt me, body-scan my clothes, and distract me herself. My desk was placed right by the door near her office so she could monitor every interaction.
• Last week, when I temporarily sat out in the main area with the rest of the team and had a great interaction, she walked out of the office without saying goodbye to anyone and looked so visibly miserable that another colleague had to ask her if she was okay.

On Wednesday, I am planning to move my desk back to the main open area with the rest of the team where I belong, and I am speaking to HR today regarding some payroll issues she neglected.

I feel like I’ve had to map out her entire psychological playbook just to make sense of why a manager would act this way toward a new starter. Am I going mad by putting all these pieces together, or is this a clear case of a deeply insecure person trying to control and intimidate someone?

Would love to hear your thoughts on her behavior and how to handle Wednesday. Thanks.

Hey everyone,

I’m posting here because I’ve spent the last 48 hours breaking down every single interaction I’ve had with my temporary line manager over the past few weeks. I honestly need an outside perspective to tell me if I’m overanalysing things, or if this behavior is as toxic and bizarre as it feels.

For context, I am a new starter. I hold a genuine Master’s degree in counselling and have a very quiet, calm confidence. My line manager is on a temporary contract that ends later this month, has been an entry-level grade for five years, and holds a basic certificate in counselling. Since day one, the dynamic has felt incredibly strange.
Here is the exact timeline of events and behaviors:

• on my first week, I went out for lunch on my break. When I came back, she told me, "I thought you’d run away but then I saw you out the window come back." She then directly asked me, "Have you ever run away from a job?"
• when she found out I have a Master’s degree, she immediately claimed in front of the team that she also has a Master’s degree in psychology which turned out to be completely false. She has a bachelors degree with a 2:2
• I brought in a stylish diary/planner. She had the exact same one. When I casually pointed out the shared interest, she became incredibly cold, dismissive, and brushed it off like I had ruined an exclusive status symbol for her.
• Out of nowhere, she loudly announced her weight and BMI to the entire open-plan office, creating a really uncomfortable atmosphere centered around body image.
• One day I came in wearing a professional black blazer, white shirt, and trousers. She looked at a male colleague and said sarcastically, "Look, Sarah looks smart! She should be the manager!”
• Shortly after, she moved my desk away from the main team (where I was building a great rapport) into a back room with one colleague, claiming it was "so you don't get distracted." However, once I was in there, she constantly walked in multiple times a day to interrupt me, body-scan my clothes, and distract me herself. My desk was placed right by the door near her office so she could monitor every interaction.
• Last week, when I temporarily sat out in the main area with the rest of the team and had a great interaction, she walked out of the office without saying goodbye to anyone and looked so visibly miserable that another colleague had to ask her if she was okay.

On Wednesday, I am planning to move my desk back to the main open area with the rest of the team where I belong, and I am speaking to HR today regarding some payroll issues she neglected.

I feel like I’ve had to map out her entire psychological playbook just to make sense of why a manager would act this way toward a new starter. Am I going mad by putting all these pieces together, or is this a clear case of a deeply insecure person trying to control and intimidate someone?

Would love to hear your thoughts on her behavior and how to handle Wednesday. Thanks.