u/Nice-Childhood4948

As stated in the title, I feel like what I'm earning right now isn't enough to make my family have the happiness they deserve. Especially my mom. I think we're on our way to "just surviving" to be honest.  It wasn’t like this a month ago, — when I still got my another job, but now with my current salary, I just hope we can last in this crisis.

For context, I am 23M at ikalawa sa 4 na magkakapatid and I’m the only one that’s earning right now in our family (thank God I found a wfh job when I was 18). I didn’t went to college because I choose to support my family and my big brother which was already in college back then (he graduated in 2024 btw and still looking for work). Yung tatay ko kasi was arrested and imprisoned for 9 years — so yeah….. I became the “breadwinner” kuno in our household. In the beginning just like what it’s turning now (which I hope will not), it was for survival pa. I slowly pay the debt of my mother, everyday expenses sa bahay, at kontribusyon sa tuition ng aking kuya.  Then eventually lumaki-laki unti yung income ko from sidegigs and freelance, at ayun nakabili ako ng motor, washing machine, gasul, mga bagay2 na pangarap ng nanay ko like crocs and sandals at yung bagong cp nya na napost ko sa r/FirstTimeKo sub hahaha (naiyak talaga ako sa reaction nya huhuhuhu.)

Anyways. I got this client for almost 2 years now, and diko akalain na 70 percent pala ng income ko ang nawala when he left. It was really unfortunate haysss. Ngayon, akala ko na madali lang maka hanap ng mga gig or another job kasi nakakaland naman ako noon in less than a week, pero grabe napala ang market ngayon. I’ve been trying to grind this past few weeks and I’ve tried most things in my end — everyday application sa onlinejobph (which is mostly either lowball, trial test scam, or no response), linkedin (no response din hahaha), facebook group and reaching out my previous clients which they said they’ll refer me if they have someone they know needing a website pero till now wala parin. I even invested to create my own website na kaka live lang last week, pero ganun parin.

I don’t know, if I’m just overreacting, kasi my mom is very grateful naman kahit ano pang bagay na ibigay ko sakanya or even kahit noong sobrang hirap pa kami ay di parin nawawala ang kanyang ngiti.  But I just really want to give her everything y’know, kasi deserve nya talaga yun. Sa lahat ba naman ng sakripisyo na ginawa nya para samin, gusto ko talagang makabawi at ibigay lahat2 yun. Balak ko pa sanang ipasyal sya sa magagandang lugar, pero wala eh, I think I need to be realistic haysss.