u/Nightfury_56

I (f32) have been married for 4 years. I donot stay with my inlaws coz we live in anotherr country. My inlaws are visiting us for 2 months and me any my husband hosted a get-together at our home for around 14 people. I cooked quite a few things: puri, kheer, cabbage kofta, chicken gravy, chana dal and pulao. My husband also made palak paneer. Everyone seemed to really enjoy the food, and honestly, even I was pleasantly surprised by how good the chicken gravy turned out. But my MIL didn’t say anything about the food or the effort I had put in. She just said 2 things: “Everyone liked the kofta” and “There were so many things to eat.”

I genuinely cannot remember a single time when she has complimented my cooking or acknowledged the effort I put into hosting/cooking. I’m curious about the psychology behind this. Why do people do this? What is the thought process?

My husband had once made khichdi and she complimented that the khichdi was very tasty. So it means she is capable of saying good things. For those who have experienced something similar with their MILs (or even other family members), what do you think is going on psychologically?

My inlaws get angry whenever my husband starts cooking. We live in the US and both of us cook together most of the time. My inlawx are visiting for 2months. Now whenever they see him cooking, they will get upset, start getting angry and being passive aggressive. My FIL is especially rude and doesn’t know how to talk to a DIL. I am really frustrated.
Why dont they understand that their son is not just “helping” in the kitchen or around the house. Its his job to do all those things as is the daughter in law’s. Nobody is meant to be in the kitchen. Its no one’s full time job.