u/Njuy

So I was a restaurant and while I was getting in my car to leave someone stopped me to give me their friends phone number. I never saw her friend but decided to text anyway. After texting back and forth for an hour I ask for a pic of her.

Unfortunately I am not attracted to her and don't want to be rude and hurt her feelings.

I'm in my mid thirties and never had to deal with this situation before because I've always been less attractive one in any given situation.

Update We talked for a little while and found out we have different interests that aren't compatible. I like like video games and astronomy, she likes painting and traveling. So we wished each other the best of luck. Phew! Crisis averted and lesson learned 😅

I was on a call with friends helping a much more attractive friend of mine psych himself up to break up with his current gf who’s been emotionally distant.

Of them I’m the only one who has never been in a relationship, I always end up in unrequited love with girls who love the attention I give them but never wanted anything more in the first place. That doesn’t happen to my friends, like at all- it’s that thats making me resent them. And every so often they say stuff that makes it clear they think I’m kind of pathetic and digging my own hole or whatever.

For example, one of these guys on this call started making increasingly aggressive digs at me about how I’ve never been in a relationship and so my advice is useless until eventually I just left. Same guy routinely slips up and lets me know how he thinks of me in an offhanded manner, like a few months back while drunk we were teasing each other and he hit me with “oh look at me I’m OP and even though I’m tall I somehow managed to be ugly as fuck” (I’m significantly taller than him but it gets me nowhere).

They all sort of imply too that when things go wrong for me with people I pursue (which is literally every time) that its my fault and I dont take enough risk and I should be more like them or whatever as if they have it all figured out and I’m just a huge loser doing this almost on purpose. When in actuality, these girls I talk to often admit they’d be fine dating me if I was “their type” but seemingly unanimously I’m not “their type”.

And so they want to keep me around for the same level of emotional validation as a relationship (talking every single day, essentially being a therapist while they barely listen to what I say about myself). And I gladly oblige because it’s the closest thing I get to emotional intimacy and affection, while my friends effortlessly glide from relationship to relationship and look down on me.

I’m miserable.