u/No-Film-7745

I met this guy about two months ago. We had car sex the first time we met, and it was something special. I'm also grading that on a curve, as car sex can be limited, especially in a sedan. It didn't feel limited...

Snuck him into my room the next time, and we completely forgot we were supposed to be quiet. The way he opened up for me, I just knew he was as excited as I was. I mean, we're both sitting there trying not to go over the edge just yet.

I meet him for a nice way-too-early breakfast, and even that was amazing. Then the third time we crack is at his place, when nobody else is home. God damnit, to have that man spread eagle on his own bed... 🤤

The slow, the fast, the gentle, the rough... He can go through those phases right with me. So eager to please, and he looks really good when he's pleased.

I'm just a little scared rn because this is starting to turn into a lil more than just FWB. I know I wanna keep seeing him. At first I knew I didn't want anything serious. But now I'm picturing it, and I can't stop. I think I really like him, and idk what that means

In my years of Grinding, I have noticed something more glaring than anything else:

People who are either definitely tops or definitely bottoms will still pretend to be vers. They will say so in their bios, and they will chat as if they are too.

A vers-claiming top will ask for pics, then only respond with dick pics. Or he might block or get noticeably distant after seeing your dick.

A vers-claiming bottom will do the same, only the inverse.

And then there are even some on either side that will actually go as far as meeting, only to be unwilling to do one or the other, in any capacity at that.

So, I'm curious: does anyone else experience this? And if so, what are your thoughts?

And also: if you do this, no judgement... but why? Are you casting a net? Are you genuinely unsure? What's the deal? You're just postponing the inevitable, which is that you and the other person are incompatible. Eventually, you're gonna be hit with that, and you know it too. So why waste time, energy, and gas money, just to not actually enjoy yourself?

I lost a three-year relationship back in October. This was a domino that led to me losing everything. He rode off on his horse while I faced eviction. I had to give up my role as a caretaker and put my dad in a safe place so I could fend off homelessness without risking he get caught in the fray. I'll probably never see him again.

At this point, I'm estranged from my sister for five years, due to her outing me to her abusive husband and choosing a life with him over a relationship with our family. I go see her for one last goodbye, when she offers to let me stay after hearing what's happening. This doesn't last long, and yet another guy she lets in her life rips us apart. I end up being forced to give up my dog. Not to a shelter, but just give him up, roadside.

During this time, I meet someone new. Really, just a "get under one" that got too real for either of our best interest.

My only haven is an apartment with some longtime friends of mine in a completely different state, 7 hrs away. All I gotta do is make it over the January ice...

This means my relationship is now long-distance.

Everything becomes about getting a new job, saving up, and getting back to this new partner. Over 8 months, we fizzle out, and we're currently about two weeks removed from officially breaking up.

I loved this guy more than all the others. He drove an hour to hold my hand while I was actively giving my dad up. I wrote like 20 songs about him over the 8 months.

I've lost my car, and all I really have now is weed, booze, a monthly shroom dose, and some Grindr hookups. In a week, my roommates move, and I'll be changing my situation once again.

Still, I'm just... Fine. I'm not devastated, I'm not depressed, I'm kinda just nothing. I haven't cried once over this now-ex of mine. We kissed in three different states, and it's as if it never even happened. I see his pictures and the ones of us together, and absolutely nothing happens.

I'm a little concerned about what this lack of feeling might mean. If someone like that could come into my life, change it so drastically in such a short span, and I feel nothing when they're gone?

I've never been in this state before, and it's all just really weird. Does anyone have thoughts, or perhaps a similar experience that could shed some light?

I would like to know about some of your best Grindr meets. What were the circumstances, and what made that encounter better than others?

So I'm pretty fresh off a break-up, as well as a plethora of 2026 trauma.

Got on Grindr the night it happened, like almost involuntarily. A femboy was visiting some family, and I had him over.

Three carplays and a daddy later, I'm helping some dude get revenge on his cheating boyfriend... He wanted to fuck again, and I was just tired that night, and he threw a fit so bad you could have caught it... Blocked, obviously.

Walked across town for a guy that was too high off edibles to function, much less fuck... But he had good dabs😂

So of course, I do the only logical thing: hit up someone else at 1 AM. He picks me up, takes me to the middle of nowhere, fucks me senseless, then buys me Sonic.

And tonight (going into morning), I hit a hotel room to bag a bear. My ex calls as we're pillow talking, wants to chew my ass off for the way things ended. Leaves a VM saying nevermind. Then I get a small from one of those carplays... And I can host... So I take a long shower, he comes over, and we get absolutely nasty. I literally type this as he makes his way home.

I'm outta control. My friends are all straight, so this would just sick them out. It probably sicks you out if you're reading. But idk who else to tell. I had to tell someone.

Like, the gratification is intoxicating. In a shallow sense, it's nice knowing that many people would have sex with me. It's nice to know that I can get someone off by existing. I've never really had this kind of ego trip before. And most of the sex has genuinely been good sex. Dude was finna let it go hands-free and made me stop because he wasn't ready for it to be over... Like, you absolute slut 😅

But there has to be a limit. I'm gonna hit a wall at some point, but the guy on the other shoulder keeps saying "fuck it." And I can't shut him up for the life of me.

I just wanted to rip the bong and go to sleep tonight, honestly. But it's like I was compelled. I wasn't even horny particularly. And I'm glad I did tonight. I got to see God twice 💀

However, if I'm not working or actively abusing substances, I'm looking. It's becoming my life. It's turning into a cycle of weed, alcohol, work, sex, maybe calories, maybe water, maybe sleep, repeat. And I'm numb rn, so it's all gravy.

I just know the crash is coming, and I'm gonna look up and ask "what am I doing?" When I run out of liquor, and the boys are asleep, I'm gonna feel it. And I don't think I'm ready. In fact, I know I'm not, and that's why I keep kicking this can down the road. I'll just eat some ass or suck some dick until I can find Mary or Jameson again. Because it's just shark mentality now. If I stop swimming, I die (metaphorically, but... 🤷‍♂️).

I originally was gonna make this a Discussion post, but then I realized that the logical answer is to just stop. And I don't wanna do that, even though you'd be right. So, Rant/Venting it is. I know there's cracks in the glass, but I fucking hate glue.

Open floor, really just trying to spark up some conversations. So lmk what you think:

I'm curious to know what some of you guys think of the tribes, i.e. "twink," "bear," "Daddy," etc... I'm a little torn honestly (no, not like that 😂).

On one hand, I think it's a useful way to get to the bottom (or top 🥁🤷‍♂️) of what we like, so we can find good matches and also mutually save time when we don't match.

On the other, I think that the labels can get really rigid, and leave certain people out before they get a chance. Bottoms with any hair, DQ. Tops with any pretty on them, DQ. And everyone misses an opportunity when it's like that.

If anyone would like to share their opinions/stories, feel free. I really wanna know where y'all stand on this