u/No-Island-2023

My 7yo is obsessed with all things sports. He has a high level of energy and is constantly playing soccer, baseball, basketball, volleyball, pickle ball....he loves all sports. We've never had success with signing him up for sports though and he was just kicked out of a soccer camp for elopement and aggression (I have a long rant on that but I'll save it). He enjoyed the free play at the start of the day but once they moved on to drills this triggered him to fight or elope.

How can I foster his love of sports in a PDA friendly way (and also that doesn't require so many hours of ME being his playmate)?

TL;DR how do I handle running away outside anytime my son doesn't get his way

My son, 6 ASD Level 1, almost definitely has PDA. Lately, he's taken to running away whenever there is a demand he doesn't like (take medicine, brush teeth, shower, go to bed, etc.) or he's refused something he wants (e.g. candy, TV).

Example 1: This morning he was out the door at 7:30 with a dollar and ran to the nearest variety store to buy a freezie when I told him he couldn't have one (we've recently locked our chest freezer because he's been getting himself freezies whenever he wants). I didn't follow him, we have allowed him to walk to the store by himself in the past (it's a block away and he doesn't need to cross any major streets). When he got home rather than lecturing him or telling him how unsafe that was, I calmly told him he's lost access to his money. I'm not sure if that was the right approach but it felt like a reasonable related consequence.

Example 2: Last night after dinner it was time to shower before bed (he had been playing in a creek earlier in the day and was filthy. We only do baths/showers once a week). In an instant he ran outside and to the field next to our house where he likes to hide. I was giving his younger sibling a bath so I ignored it and advised his Dad to do the same. Give him space to calm down. He kept coming back home to tell me to follow him. Eventually, when I was done with the bath, I followed him to his spot. You have to scale a rock retaining wall, crawl through a hole in a fence, and climb over another fence. He said he didn't want to shower or take his meds. I said the meds were non-negotiable but instead of showering we could clean his body with a wipe. Then I said I was leaving. He said he would stay outside all night. I told him I know you're a smart kid and that's an unsafe decision. I trust that you'll make the right decision. Before I was down the rock wall he had yelled out to ask me to wait, he was coming home.

Even though I believe he is mostly safe when he runs away, I don't think this is behaviour I want to encourage. I've tried to tell him he can find space to calm down in the house, he doesn't need to go outside but even though he has his own playroom (he sleeps in our room) he never uses it.

I think the hardest part of these elopements is how much it triggers my ASD husband. Though he probably prefers it to physical aggression or property destruction, he insists this is unacceptable and he needs to learn how to hear no. He says he can't just run away from everything he doesn't like in life.

I'm looking for advice from folks with PDA or parents of kids with PDA on how to handle this elopement. I want to keep him safe without escalating him further. Should we be installing safety locks to prevent him from leaving? I don't want to take away his independence and agency when he's not having a meltdown. How else can we handle this?

We are selling our house and using a friend as our realtor who lives in a town about half an hour away from us. Someone just told me that realtors don't like this and might not be showing their clients our house because of it. Does this still happen?

We are in Ontario if that makes a difference (not GTA).

Does anyone know if you can use your short term sickness plan days to work part time (either 2-3 days a week or shortened days). My stress is majorly impacting my health and I'd like to take a leave but I also don't want to step away completely (I know that's likely a contributing factor)....but is that possible ?

Edit to clarify I meant the 124 shirt term sickness plan

Two weeks ago I got what I thought was a migraine. Headache, nausea, exhaustion and went to sleep for a few hours. I was low energy that night but mostly fine. The next day, by afternoon my headache was back and I was feeling dizzy. This pattern repeated itself until it was so bad a week in that I couldn't safely drive. I went to the Dr and my blood pressure (which is normally good) was really high (138/100) and she said I had vertigo. She thinks I've been experiencing a vestibular migraine. Dr prescribed blood pressure medication and Cambia. I've been taking them for 5 days. My blood pressure is normal but I'm still waking up with a headache each day and nausea and vertigo comes in waves throughout the day. Could this be a vestibular migraine? Or should I push for more testing?