u/No-Mission5457

Gyms near bbd and their membership price also

A senior just told me that from last year freshers has been canceled is it truuuu????

I am banarasi though assi aur bhu jaa jaa kr pk gyaa

So i have just passed my 12th exams and the story is of my first love turned relationship turned breakup turned trauma so the story of meeting her was very cute at first I was having a big school meme (cringe ahh thing) of my previous school in which I studied from nursery to 10 but I switched school later so the girl was from the previous school she joined in 11th but in a different branch due to some legal action by CBSE on my previous school had to run all branches together in 12th so I was already having many friends as well as a full active Memepage (whose memes were going viral like crazy like 100k views on random shit) so there I got to know about her she was like crush of the whole class 12th including many of my knowns like 400 boys is looking for your id and then classic male ego got hurt when she ignored all the reqs people started abusing her giving her threats on anonymous confessions of my memepage so I just sent her a req and then defended her on story (had no intentions of talking to her atp) she was very thankful and all that then we started talking a little bit (my identity wasn't reveal till now I am still just an admin of random ass cringe page) so there is an another admin who was a sick person like almost a potential ra\*ist he slut shamed all the girls of the page but I couldn't do anything at that point cz he was blackmailing me and shit like that and then the guy started liking my ex so he decided to to fool her and take her to his own private id but idk what happend to me that night I changed the password and told her about all the situation and I revealed my personality to her and added to my own id (still no intent to date her) and then it goes boom we were talking daily 8-9 hours for like December then in December things start getting changed in both povs we made a plan to meet but also that time we had a argument over something and then i apologized and shit and then she became normal but I actually noticed that whenever we get into argument she ignores me like crazyy she choose escapism getting on the track in December she deactivated her id (she did that for like 7-8 times in a month) and then biggest regret of my life till date for which I almost committed suicide I abused her in my friend's chat saying "Ye \*\*\*\*\* badi behan ki lodi hai fir id deactivate krli" Ik ik many of you guys want to kill me atp but things even go worse ahead so in January we met things were good we were still talking like crazyy btw she didn't found out yet that gaali thing and in January I had my jee but I wasn't prepared for that but that time just 2 days before my jee she got angry over something stupid I do and then again that I killed my self respect and thousands of sorry messages and big paragraphs and eventually she became normal again but my jee got fucked up at that point my many friends were saying if you are thinking to date her don't she always wanna escape and you always wanna chase but I was so much in love at that time then in February I had worst fight with her I sent her some SS where a junior girl was abusing her but I cut my side of ss and then we had a fight her main point was I didn't defended her I was supporting the Junior but that wasn't the truth yes I take the accountability that I was stupid I should have defended her but she fought with me just 2 days before boards exam and instead of studying I choose her again chased her she was escaping many voice notes of hours long thousands of call hundreds of sorry messages (we were still friends at that time) and finally after a week she became normal and guys trust me on this I didn't sleep a minute that week And then in March I proposed her she said yes and things went veryy well but in end of March a crazy fight started again this time the reason was looking very small to me she saw my likes on models and girls I thought we will sort this out but then she again escaped she asked for break I was shattered was constantly messaging her yeh woh and then she finally agreed that she will forgive me last time but I need to give her id pass of my insta and then boom 🙂🙂 she took it for a hour and after an hour I got a ss abusing her and she said "dating you was worst mistake of my life" I was so guilty at that time I almost comitted suicide in regret there were a lot other things she saw but some of them was pure misunderstanding like she said that I wasnt a one women man cz I chatted about a girl in my friend's dm but that was just a boy insider joke (around 2 year old joke) but I still count that as my mistake I wrote a diary 100s of page about her with her photos uploaded her video edits on YouTube and then converted into QR code and then pasted into diary I really wanna show her this but i couldn't and things got worst after all that i saw her story from my friend id where she was mocking me saying "no one has a victim complex then a man who thinks he is a good person" I stayed silent about that cause ik that was my mistake and I sent a friend to convince her to meet me but she(my frnd) couldnt my ex said that I wasn't one women man I was cheating and also said that she gave me assurance throughout the relationship but I failed 100% into this which was the only point I was disagreeing (no I didn't cheat also 😭😭😭) in the relationship she was constantly the one who was going away even in small arguments and I was the one constantly chasing saying sorry taking accountability she said I made her insecure and she never made even 1% but guys let me tell you I was insecure throughout the relationship imagine 6 days into relationship and your gf spams 58 reels of her celebrity crush (abhishek sharma) in just 10 minute if there was anyother guy I am sure he would have made a hell scene out of that but I choose to reply to all 58 reels very sweetly cz I don't wanted to show I was getting insecure I literally cried all that night next day was my board exam I fucked that but I didn't blamed her cause I don't have victim complex and last 2 weeks were oh my god there was a guy (my classmate) who was talking to a girl (friend of mine) and were constantly saying shit about me cause he liked the same girl (my ex) and then he said something about my ex that I (op) have her nudes all that I was so furious I instantly called that guy cousin and said to him I will kill him and stuff like that and sent those screenshots to my ex through my friend and then next day my ex bsft messaged me asking for that girl's id (the girl already told me to not to take her name) so i was saying to her I need to ask her that should I give you id or not but her bsf got so triggered that she started saying shit about me you are gutterman and all that I stayed silent at that time even when I was crying but when I thought to argue back my ex entered the chat and started asking me stuff and she said why are you over reacting I said that your friend is literally saying all that stuff like gutterman from. 2 hour anyone would get hyper to which she replied "my friend didn't said anything wrong I am very proud of her" That completely broke me she alleged me of cheating and many thing but I was so broke. That I accepted everything even though I had counters but I stayed cold and said bye to her (also they thought I was the one who was spreading rumors about the nudes) and 2 days after I received a ss where her bsf was abusing and saying shit about me on random id I stayed silent 2 day before but this time I couldn't control over my anger as it was mixed with 2 months trauma I msgd her saying many stuffs that "aukaat me rho" "Gutterman jaisi mentality tmhari h" "I got trauma tm log ki wjh se" She blocked me then my ex entered the chat again by unblocking me and saying say whatever shit you wanna say don't say about my gurlll and at that point she literally asked what's your trauma and I dont wanna know your story so I again became cold and just said "I regret dating you good bye forever" Guys ik my stuff I would take the 100% accountability for my mistake but anyone can tell me that was I 100% wrong like she mocked my trauma my regret said like "this is your karma" Cause of my mental health was fucked up I was constantly taking online mental therapy to make it out of guilt constantly feeling sorry still getting mocked by her on her stories reposts etc yes I do agree I was wrong hundred percent but the behaviour of her and her friends towards me in last 2 months were traumatizing I was this close to commiting suicide I wasn't talking to anyone at my home for 2 months and my ex was asking "what trauma you have" yes I do believe that I was wrong I shouldn't have abuse her but she thinks I faked my whole personality in front of her which Is a clear misunderstanding which I couldn't remove even though I tried my level best writing 100 of pages in diary going into a park where she goes for a month (btw the park was 8km away) i constantly gone there for month I did my hundred percent of efforts to get her back or to make the misunderstanding go away I know my mistakes are regret that every night I had Sleepless nights for 2 months and still but I was constantly chosen her above me from the December but this time when we talk last time I choose myself because she was chosing her friend who was clearly disrespecting me I didn't had the self respect for my ex but her friend had no right to call out me and my ex was just find saying that you are even ready to come down to me and my friends foot then how your ego got triggered (context : I said mai pair me gir jaaunga uske aur uske dosto k to my friend) and and she thought whatever her friend was doing was correct because anybody would do that to their friend but whatever I was doing was insane and that where I felt my words had no value to her so choosing me was the last option I could do I was literally crying writing that I regret dating her yes I do it sometime because of this relationship I lost my friends group I lost my family in closeness I lost my Academics I lost my self respect but I still constantly choose her or anything but in the end I was the one who was getting mocked I still love her because it wasn't her fault either she was the one who got played (she thinks) she would always think I was the one who was making fake personality to get her because of the chats which she did out of context and my past pity which was 6-7 months back and I was ready to change for her guys I really needwise I really need to know how much I was wrong in my opinion I was the one who ruined it and fucked it up Genuinely need advice there is no going back to her but I still love her what should I do and in two weeks its her bday I really want to wish her but last time I said that you would never see a msg from my side I am very much confused this feeling of broke guilt regret and anger all mixed up and ruined 2 months of my life Guys seriously WHAT SHOULD I DO?