u/No-Preparation1824

You could be dressing like these women in Afghanistan and they would complain about your shade in sun. NOTHING WILL SATISFY THEM EVER! AND THERE IS NO LINE THEY WOULD DRAW.

The thing is it doesn’t matter if u stopped wearing it. The conservative community will always haunt u. You finally made peace with God and you believe you did nothing wrong? Well guess what you are still surrounded by people who thinks your body/ existence is a problem that needs to be regulated. You open a platform and you are bombard by comments that ask to take down women pics because yes your existence is again problematic to them that you are carrying endless sins upon your death by uploading pics of yourself. (Iam not even talking about pics without hijab but even your nails is problematic to them lol) Taking off hijab is not even the hardest part it’s fighting these fanatics mentally. Having such strong conscience around hijab unlike other things in religion is such interesting phenomenon and it’s something you have to fight. Guilt and hesitation don’t only come from religion but also comes and intensified from community’s conscience for something u don’t believe is wrong. It is like being born as slave and believing that slavery is wrong, so you run away from your owner, but the society around you reminds you that you will go to hell for escaping because only your owner has the right to set you. So you feel guilt for escaping even though you mentally believe its your right to be free and not be owned like object but you have internal battle between of fear and guilt and your conscience who tells u u did nothing wrong and God is not angry with u. Some might say why beloved God would throw a slave to hell for escaping by same logic why would beloved God would throw women to hell for not covering hair? But some people would dismiss this point and repeat the same statement “Hijab is mandator you must obey God, it’s sign of piety, etc” (Sorry I couldn’t come up with better example so I hope u understand what I mean) This post not attack on hijab btw but rather realizing you will never escape patriarchy even if you make hard choices like taking it off. In conclusion, some people will make you miserable for your choices to compensate for their hardship.

I don’t know if its form of disguised jealousy, coping mechanism, repressed emotions or even genuine faith to be reminded this life is “temporary” but for the love of God can some Muslims stop complaining when they ever see a Muslim women doing something that is even very slightly different from mainstream Islam. This doesn’t help with the guilt you feel about wanting to make similar choices. “we will experience this in heaven” like for the love of god can’t we experience it both in life and afterlife? This oddly enough makes me hate heaven. it sounds so conceding meanwhile for something that men wouldn’t be questioned for doing. When a video pops up of a man that travels alone wears clothes that are appropriate for summer, putting on some perfume. Would you ever see a man in the comments saying “guys don’t not get swift away by this life, we get to experience this in afterlife inshallah” This why the “experiencing it only in heaven” is such annoying phrase to me because men get to experience it in both WITHOUT guilt or guilt tripping from community. It start to feels like brainwashing to me like some muslims women are genuinely trying to cope with such injustice, oppression and double standards in our community. It’s okay for a man to walk half naked at the beach but women are constantly guilt tripped or fear mongered for wanting to dress cute or travelling alone. Before anyone says that this is God wills, etc. Why would God would not apply the same ruling for men and only women? What’s the difference between men’s hair and women if headcover was sign of piety why not men do it too. This online community is questionable but tbf it’s heavily influenced by salafism but has a great influence on women and they come up with such interesting ways to cope with oppressive rules being pushed on them. Do I sound crazy for supposedly trading this life with eternal afterlife by not wanting to follow what seems oppressive to me just because God said so supposedly or should I review my deen? Does anyone else feels like this too?

Why allah would use a word (khimar) that deliberately implies headcover and men use that as an evidence of khimar being obligation. Why not just say cover your bosom? (and frankly why covering bosom in first place I know it’s for modesty purpose but it kinda implies that women are inherently more sexual than men hence they have to cover more) I know it’s also illogical to assume just because the word is being used for the purpose of covering bosom doesn’t make it itself as obligation but that doesn’t erase the doubt in my heart. I don’t think that either progressive or conservative have more convincing argument which is why Iam stuck on the fence and continue to wear it so that’s it’s safer. I am also not advocating that women should walk half naked in street lol. iam just struggling with the idea of how god view women autonomy/ bodies because it feels like it’s through the lens of men. Like genuinely asking why god cares about how women dress especially when these verses were revealed years later and why even umar bin katab was policing women on how they dress and beating slaves who wanted to veil. So many questions in my head and it makes me feel resentful that men don’t have to go through or think about all of this.

I have wore hijab by choice , and I only wear it as an act of worship, but I haven't yet found anything men equally have to endure. I find it truly odd that God would place such a heavy burden on one gender, affecting their daily lives on daily basis, while I don't see anything similar for men. I would feel so much guilt if I take it off, and I fear Iam misinterpreting the verses, that I'm following my desires basically. But when I look around, I see how many women complain, whether for physical reasons like hair loss and itching, or for social reasons like being attacked, harassed, or looked down for wearing it. I feel deep pain and sadness. Why is my body being part of a test? I used to simply believe it was an obligation and go about my day, but now it's incredibly exhausting and affects my mental health when I think about purpose of hijab, I used to calm myself by telling myself that I wearing it only for Allah but now I ask myself but why? why Allah wants me to wear it, especially when I think about the suffering of the weaker gender. Isn't it enough that women go through menstruation throughout their lives? Isn't the suffering of women who give birth, being the weaker gender and more vulnerable to harassment, rape, and murder, enough? And before anyone says that men wear the hijab, are you referring to the shirt and shorts that no one will pat an eye seeing it? The beard? It grows naturally on the face; nothing compares to a piece of cloth stuck to the head for more than eight hours a day. Isn't the purpose of worship to benefit us? Why does no one understand or care about Muslim women? Why are we constantly threatened with punishment and hellfire if we choose not to wear or choose a different conclusion? I don’t know what to do and its causing me to develop anxiety and ocd because I can’t stop thinking about it when I when I have to go out I have to wear it. it’s making me feel drained mentally now and depressed that I don’t want to go out anymore just to avoid wearing it and not have these questions and thoughts in my head being played over and over again.

My father have been giving me driving lessons lately. We usually go out at night, so I would wear a hoodie instead of a hijab. When I started the car, my father told me to take off the hoodie because it was blocking my view of cars coming from behind, and because it was dark and no one would see me anyways. I feel stupid for saying no, and was worried that someone would see me without a hijab, even though the roads were kind of empty. I regret not listening to him. I feel like I missed a great opportunity to drive without a hijab and experience the feelings of not covering my hair outside home.

You watch a video blog by a lovely Muslim woman, then you go to the comments section and find people complaining that she travels without a male guardian, that while she doesn't wear revealing clothes that she doesn't wear a hijab. Why all this fuss? Really, when a man travels, no one objects? What's so immoral about a woman having hair, just like a man, yet she's constantly told in the comments not to worry about the life and remember the afterlife and so on? Is this what will happen in the afterlife? Will God be angry with me for not traveling with a male guardian, for not wearing the "proper" hijab, and even for using perfume and makeup because I want to smell and look nice—something that has nothing to do with men. Yet I feel guilty for such simple things. Does God really hate women? Does He not want women to enjoy even the simplest pleasures of this life, while men aren't criticized for the same? Whenever someone says, "This is just temporary life , don't forget about afterlife," I say, "Well hell yea, men get to experience both this life and the afterlife!” Does this umma truly think? Or is this religion merely a rigid doctrine where God says this, we do this, and God says we do not do this? The worst part is that these comments are coming from women not even pity men. At this point its pathetic how you are using religion as a way to shield your misery in life. That these women properly don’t have the chances to even go out to normal cafe let alone travel so instead of fighting for basic rights and criticising the clear misogyny dressed up as rightness they look down at these women who live their life as sinful and doomed . Like please someone tell me why as a woman who didnt chose what gender to be born with is being blamed for exiting like it’s not my freaking fault I exits in woman body I didn’t choose this. Surly this religion would have been easier if I was a man. As a man no guilt about wearing a t-shirt and shorts when it’s 50C outside while as a woman I have to wear my whole closet and still feel not good enough because apparently it’s better if I don’t go out at all! These poor men have to suffer because I exists because Iam nothing more than temptation and my desires as a woman are whispers from shytan and god will be happy when I don’t express any form of femininity or autonomy lol.

Honestly, how do you respond to such comments? They infuriate me. Why, in addition to belittling women's experiences, are you fear mongering them?