u/No-Topic-6090

Alright, so for background I'm a Marine. I haven't been in long, barely a year now. My corporal, A.C., is one of my day ones. When I got to my unit, almost everyone was out at a training, and weren't back for 2 weeks after I got there. A.C. drove me everywhere. Chow hall, MCX, checking in, all of it. From the get-go, he made it clear he was more than a Corporal for me. His door was always open and if I needed anything (even at 3am) I could call.

Now the problem. I developed feelings. It happened slowly after a few nights of getting fucked up and him being there to make sure I was alright, especially durring Mess Night (or Warriors night). I had a few drinks and ended up with our MT/UT section. A.C. was NOT happy with me being there and made me sit in a chair and stood behind me with a hand on my shoulder. Eventually he took me away from there, arm around my waist. I was sober enough to remember all of this. He stayed by my side the entire night until making me sleep in his car. The next morning, we were driving to this little mexican place and I was resting in the car. He thought I was asleep. While talking to another buddy, he was saying something about how much he cared, though he shouldnt like this.

There have been other instances. Us both blacked out (everyone knows drunk words are sober thoughts) and would not leave me alone. Not in some creepy SAPR way. In the way he was like sitting next to me, arm around me, making sure I was okay, all that stuff. He also would randomly take my wallet and just look through it if we're at work. And since he does room pre-inspections after work, if it's just him, he'll sit and talk with me or just ask about litteraly anything. I've talked to him about all sorts of issues like when one guy in our section was being creepy and made me super uncomfortable. That day he put a stop to that because "i care about you because aren't just a junior to me."

Maybe I'm tripping, overanalysing this (which yall can call me out on if you wanna), but when he walk i to a room and my entire demeanour changes? Those butterflies and draw to him? I know what I'm feeling.

Yes, this sounds sweet and innocent by itself, but it's complex in ways that most dont understand. I (19f) have developed feelings for A.C. (21M). He is the nicest man I ever met. He is always telling me I can talk to him if I need, checking in on me, asking if I'm okay, and making me actually feel wanted (which growing up I lacked severely). He's held me and comforted me when I broke down talking about my ex-boyfriend and the shit he did to me, making sure I ate real food after. He will even go out of his way to do something to make me laugh or smile (which he has admitted).
The problem? We are military, and he is my corporal. If anything was ti happen, it would be fraternization, and I don't want to have any negitive paperwork or NJP while I'm so new to the Corps. Do I still like him a lot? Yes, absolutely. Is it smart? Hell no. I thought it was a phase at first, just finally feeling seen and heard, but it just hasnt even faded. If anything, it's gotten stronger. It's made my mind a jumbled mess of feelings and rational thought.