Heretic Spellblade 3 Chapter 6 of audiobook.
Laura one of the twin messengers says;
"When we went to Australia as exchange students they called it a BBQ"
KD mate! Thats a Barbie! Are you trolling Australians specifically lol
Just looking for some feedback, Ive started a manuscript I've already written from scratch because I wasn't happy with it, and I like this opener much better than my old one. Feel free to be brutal I'm not made of glass and I'm writing for my own enjoyment. Thanks in advance!
Hello,
I'm writing an urban fantasy romance novel, and the hook in the very beginning, the MC has something truly awful happen to him that is central to the plot (death of his daughter). He then shoots himself in front of his ex wife to protect her and wakes up in a twisted multiverse version of hell. (his mind is being taken over by a spirit of violence and revenge that wants her dead)
The story is in some part about redemption, but I can't help but want to inject levity into the story only a few chapters later and it just feels, I dont know, undeserved? I obviously cant have the MC laugh or be in a jovial mood, but my writing style just seems to love subversion of expectations and tropes and anime style slice of life comedy. It feels a bit like oil and water but I want to make it work but I'm afraid it will be extremely jarring for the reader. On the other hand, such a traumatic event at the beginning to motivate the protagonist is cliche in itself and probably overdone, but I'm not exactly afraid of that I'm just thinking maybe I should present it in a different light. Have MC wake up in hell at the very begging and slowly reveal the events of the past so its not to heavy. Any thoughts?
Just finished and boy does it seems like the pacing has fallen off the cliff. The most exiting thing that happens is the clan fights which are cool but its just not much compared to the last few books especially the last one which had lots of combat. I like that the author baits the hook for the next series but the ending is just so underwhelming. Z putting a cap on the harem is also a strange idea if the series continues into annother trilogy, if the payof was getting married and they cant have kids where do the slice of life elements even go from here.
Don't get me wrong I like the series in general and the characters but I feel like the last book was just a low point for no real reason. The AI development stuff was getting a bit tedious and training new pilots is something that Z has done so many times and we are just rehashing stuff weve already seen. Hopefully it picks up in the next book, I dont really know if im the only one who feels this way what do you all think?