The birds, the bees, and the skeletons
My previous post addressed how our Evangelical parents largely failed us when it came to sex education. Most of us have some kind of trauma from the impact of purity culture, or the consequences of being denied healthcare and basic health information. It was neglectful, it was abusive, and it was intentional.
This post takes a different angle on the subject. What have you have learned in adulthood about your parents’ sexual histories? I have learned that my mother was molested as a child, that my parents had premarital sex which resulted in pregnancy and a secret abortion right after Roe v. Wade became law, that my parents were on the verge of divorce for all of my early childhood, and that my mother believes she has been healed because she went to “therapy” at a pregnancy counseling deception center. I don’t say this to absolve them of responsibility, but it helped me to understand that my entire Evangelical upbringing was basically just sitting in the nuclear fallout of their unresolved psychological traumas. I would like to add that after learning all that and expressing understanding and compassion for my parents as frightened teenagers with terrifying Catholic parents, years later I found the courage to come out to my parents in my mid-forties. I did not receive the same understanding, and was met with soft-pedaled rejection under the guise of their commitment to “god’s plan for sexuality.” It is enough to make me scream.
So. How many skeletons have tumbled out of your Evangelical family closets?