I speeded about 4,000Pkr (abt $14.30) On buying GTA V when I pay the money game was installing I realized I badly f up, and My I7 3770 and 1 GB VRAM can't support, also that website has no return policy where I buyed from what should I do because 4,000pkr ($14.30) is very large amount for teenager in Pakistan.

When I was religious I never face nihilism but now after atheism I start facing it, because any plan I build about my life it fall on part "if there is nothing after deadh why was I born" "what is the purpose of life end is Always Deadh" "grinding all this much just to die random day" though I don't say atheism is bad or I am going to religions back, I don't want to live on stop thinking just because everything feels meaningless now

It because I think too much and question everything

Any tips to stop it?

I'm 15 years old and the only atheist in my family. Life has become really hard for me now. I desperately want to leave Pakistan as soon as possible. My plan is to tell my family "I'm going abroad for work" excuse, so I can finally live freely.

But even this "simple" plan is getting harder and harder. Being from a middle-class family means we can't afford a good university degree. Immigration laws in the EU and US are becoming stricter, and I'm also worried about racism and many other challenges outside the country.

What should I do to make immigration easier and stable life later.

I am 15 y/o, I recently turn atheist moralist and I usually don't hide anything from my parents, but I'm forced to hide it because I am totally dependent on my parents, I feel very isolated this way because I have to pretend to be Muslim just be blend in though they're open minded, never force me for payers e.g. though they're still religious but moderate