u/NoIndividual4454

Hi! I’m not new to smudging but I need advise on how to smudge my new apartment when I get the keys!

It was an old person with caretakers living in the apt and I’m planing on wiping every counter etc first (the apt will be cleaned by a cleaning crew).

Then white sage, then I’m thinking Paolo santo AND sweetgras (unfortunately the only sold insentsticks were I live)

Im trying to attract as much positivity in my life as possible (I got horribly dumped a few months back and I’m still quite heartbroken about that. The stray cat I took in with my ex might have cancer and I applied to a new jobb)

And as a second part! How should I cleans my belongings? I would want everything cleansed before it comes in to my new home but everything is in boxes etc… I’ve cleansed my home since the brakeup but I kind of want everything free of negativity when it comes in to my new home.

If you have any extra tips I would love to here them <3

Reposting in this thread in hopes off getting some tips on how to interact with my avoidant ex.

About two mounts ago my avoidant/adhd bf broke up with me (over a fight). We were together 6 years. Since then I have gone “no contact” BUT I have to stay in contact over “our” cat.

Context about the cat. The cat is a stray that had been lurking in the aria for mounts, he used to come in to bfs apartment and sleep next to his daughter (12 with autism and just being diagnosed makes her a bitt shut down and sad)

We decided to adopt the cat for the sake of bfs 12y daughter, doctors recommended a pet and we knew she loved this cat with all her heart. So the plan was that the cat is owned by me, I pay the expenses and when ever the kids are at my ex (every other week) the cat would stay there.

A week in to having the cat bf broke up with me.

I don’t want to steal the daughters cat (I know they can’t have him full time) so for the sake of the daughter I want her to meet the cat again.

And now the crux with my ex. I try to keep contact minimal and only about the cat, but my ex asked how I am-I answered “life is going, and you?” He wrote a longer reply complaining about his back injury and asked if I received his texts since I didn't answer his it (he wished me a good day a few week ago ) and that I emailed him and not texted, ending the text with “i hope you have a good week🍀” I wont reply to that, I don’t care about his back and I don’t owe him an explanation about the text/email. Is this bread crumbing?

Next week my ex and his kids are coming over to meet the cat. And I don’t know how to act!! I’m a people pleaser, over explainer and hate feeling rejected. I will do my best to be my happy go lucky self with the kids but I don’t know how to act with my ex! I am not a mean person and can only tap in to bitchyness if I truly dislike a person, and I don’t dislike him (though I am mad at him) So how should I answer if he asked me personal question etc? How short should I be?! I’m looking for genuine tips since I want to be in his kids life.

(when they are here my ex is gonna see that I’m moving, I have not told him this and I do not expect him to offer the help he’s always promised me ((I helped him a lot during his move so he promised that “when you find a new place I will help you with the entire move”)) I do NOT expect or want his help but I kind off want him to see that I don’t need his help)

Give me your wisdom so I can mentalt prepare