u/NoPeach5241

After years of infertility and IVF, my husband and I lost our daughter Frances at 23 weeks.
We had finally started allowing ourselves to believe things might work out. She was a euploid embryo, the pregnancy had been progressing well overall, and after prior losses we felt like we had finally made it to safer ground. We even had our anatomy scan shortly before she passed and while not every image was obtained, nothing major had been flagged.
Then suddenly there was no heartbeat.
I delivered her two weeks ago and I honestly still feel like I’m living in another reality. We are now waiting on autopsy, genetics, and more testing, but so far there are no clear answers. The uncertainty is brutal.
I think one of the hardest parts is that after infertility and prior miscarriage, I thought making it into the second trimester meant we were finally going to bring our baby home. I had finally let myself feel hopeful and attached in a different way.
Now I feel caught between worlds. Infertility was already isolating, but stillbirth feels isolating in an entirely different way.
I would really appreciate hearing from others who experienced later losses:
Did you ever get answers?
How did you survive the waiting and uncertainty?
Did you eventually find hope again, even if you never fully “moved on”?
Reading stories here has helped me feel less alone, so thank you for listening.

I never imagined I would end up here after finally making it this far.
I’m 41 and my husband and I went through years of infertility, IVF, prior losses, and surgery to correct a partial uterine septum before conceiving our daughter Frances through transfer of a euploid embryo.
Before this pregnancy, I had:
- prior euploid missed miscarriage around 9 weeks
- 2 chemical pregnancies with pgta euploid embryos
- recurrent loss workup that was largely unrevealing aside from the septum
This pregnancy progressed much further than anything before. Anatomy scan was generally reassuring, though not all views were obtained. Then at 23 weeks we learned Frances no longer had a heartbeat.
Placental pathology so far has not provided a clear explanation. There was some inflammation/chorioamnionitis noted, but my OB does not think it clearly explains the loss and may have been secondary to labor. We are still waiting on additional testing/autopsy/genetics before regrouping with our RE.
I think I’m struggling with both devastating grief and also trying to understand where this fits medically after such a long infertility journey. Part of me is terrified this means there is some larger issue we still haven’t found.
For others in the IVF/RPL community:
- Has anyone experienced a second trimester/stillbirth loss after prior IVF losses and eventually had success?
- Did you pursue additional consults afterward (RI, MFM, genetics, immune/clotting workup, etc.)?
- Did your clinic change protocols afterward?
- How did you emotionally approach trying again after making it so far and still losing the pregnancy?
I know no one can give definitive answers, but hearing from others who have lived through something similar would mean a lot right now.