u/NoSleep4505

Kind of a dumb question but yeah. I know they say to join clubs and find people with similar niches (for me it has always been cars), but for some reason I just can't click with people.

I’m about to graduate high school, and I’ve been scared about my college experience ahead. Making friends has always been hard for me since I deal with social anxiety, and I’ve struggle with reading social cues. Because of that, my time in high school ended up being pretty lonely and kinda miserable.

When I transferred to my school in eighth grade (right after the pandemic), I was extremely socially awkward and immature. People figured out pretty quickly that I was easy to push or confuse, and they used that against me. They could get reactions out of me, get me to say things I didn’t actually mean, or twist situations so I looked “weird” or “awkward.” Once they realized they could push my buttons, I became an easy target for bullying. Instead of letting me grow past it, people kept bringing it up for years. I was bullied a lot, to the point where I was going to the principal’s office constantly just trying to make it stop. No one else has gone to the principals office 15 times to try to get people to stop harrasing them.

Because of all that, I never really built a friend group. No one texts me, no one says hi to me, and I’ve never been asked to hang out, not even once. Even on social media, I feel invisible. It’s like I’ve been stuck in this version of myself that people decided I was years ago, and I haven’t been able to break out of it.

To my school they can't seem to move past the laughingstock 8th grader version of me, as if there was no escaping the person I was supposed to be according to them. I did not have access to social media until last year when I got insta which made me feel socially behind as well. Furthermore I was also in honors or AP's so I was always at home and never went to any school events like football games or whatnot.

Even as a senior, people still made comments about things I said when I was 13. Sometimes, I didn't get the humor or context of something and said inappropriate things. But rather than allowing me to mature, people would continue pointing out those mistakes years later. I endured a lot of bullying to the extent that I had to go to the principle's office often to make it stop. Even now, in my senior year, people are still reminding me of the things I said in the eighth grade.

So I want to ask: for someone like me, is college actually less scary socially? Is it easier to meet people and find chances to hang out? I’ve never really had people text me, invite me anywhere, or even say hi, so I’m hoping college has more opportunities to make real friends. Any advice would mean a lot.