u/NoTelevision970

Practicing Buddhism and becoming more aware of my no-self, I'm finding it hard to live in a westernized society, where "self" and "identity" seems to be culturally very important. Coming to terms with the fact that I am made up of atoms that have chosen to manifest themselves into this body and mind in this lifetime is something I've found a lot of peace and comfort in. But without an individual identity I find it hard to participate in society.

As a Buddhist, how do I reconcile with still having personal choices and preferences? Can I be aware of how superficial it is and still participate? For example, choosing to dress a certain way, or have a certain personality, or even calling myself a Buddhist, or a vegan, these are things I've picked up and held onto and declared part of my identity, but being aware of them now, it feels a bit silly and meaningless.

At the same time, I feel pressured to have an identity in a western society, because it's how we socialize and engage and connect with others. How do we socialize or connect or engage with other people without identity? Or personality? Or self? Can I choose to hold onto my identity while knowing it is fabricated? Any advice or recommendations or meditations would be welcome 🙂‍↕️

Perhaps more experienced/elder sociologists have some advice for me. Bear with me because this is a feeling I don't really know how to explain clearly. Sorry for the long post!

I did my undergrad in sociocultural anthropology and minored in sociology. Becoming aware of social structures and norms is something that has stuck with me and there's still something that's not quite sitting right and I'm wondering if this is common for novice studiers of sociology. I'm also really interested in if this feeling has a specific sociological name or theory tied to it.

With this awareness of actively participating and following the rules of a society I often times now feel....odd or just silly participating in society lol. Or having an identity. I guess interacting with people socially doesn't feel authentic when I feel like I'm aware that it's something made up. It feels like every interaction I have is fabricated, because at least to an extent it is. Which is fine I suppose, but I don't know why I'm feeling this feeling of wanting to rebel against it, or to try to be above it.

It sounds embarrassing to say honestly but is this just a phase? Or should I submit to my powerlessness as a human being part of a society? Suddenly it feels silly for me to have my own identity.

As a person on the autism spectrum I spent my whole life watching and mirroring people, not really understanding all the social rules I was supposed to know and practice. Now sometimes as I go about my day, I'm overly aware of all those rules. "It's rude to do this" or "it's not appropriate to do this" or "when someone asks you about this you say that" and it all just seems kind of silly and weird and I get this feeling of wanting to abandon it all.

Idk if I'm making any sense lol but my overarching point is I guess, when we are aware of all the social constructs and norms and how we learn them and agree to participate in them, it feels a bit isolating to continue engaging in them. It feels....lonely? Like I'm on the outside looking in. But the alternative is just not participating in society which I don't really think is the answer to my feeling of strangeness.

Is this just my ego freaking out? 🤣 Like how dare you say I'm just like everyone else! Lmao. But I am also really interested in this phenomenon through the actual lens of sociology. Any book recommendations or papers that would help me explore these ideas and ideas of identity more would be greatly appreciated.

I have a leak somewhere in my power steering system. I'm taking it to the mechanic at the end of the week, but in the meantime I used stop leak because it's a significant leak. I was told I shouldn't have done this because now the mechanic might not be able to find the leak. Is this true and if so what should I do? Not bring the car in? Wait? The stop leak slowed the leak down but it's still leaking. It's a 2006 Camry with around 200k miles. Thanks!!!!!

I submitted an application for a residential parking permit on Friday of last week. It was denied because apparently my proof of residency wasn't adequate. The clerk emailed me this and stated that I could send new proof of residency to them and they would approve it. Which...they did not. So I waited until this morning to see if they would respond. Obviously not. So this morning (Monday) I decided okay forget it I'll just submit a new application because I couldn't edit or add files to the other one for some reason when I tried. So I filled out an entirely new application and submitted it with the new residency requirements. After a few hours it was approved.

In that span of time I have received 2 parking tickets and have paid for 2 applications. That leaves me down $170 for what should have been a $20 permit.

Honestly not sure if this was all my fault and I need to take the L, or if I should fight the tickets. Has anything like this happened to anyone else? Am I being unreasonable or is this actually unreasonable? Is it worth trying to fight the tickets or will it go nowhere?

Thank you for any advice or honesty. I can't really tell if I handled this wrong or should have done something differently, or if the parking authority commonly takes advantage of residents this way.

Hello! I'm looking for an adaptogenic blend supplement that is good and high quality. Or even just a single adaptogen product that you swear by. Specific brand names would be most helpful. Thanks!

Is it just my body reacting to changes?

I switched to a very low carb, high (good) fat, protein and fiber diet and I've been doing surprisingly well with it. Doing 8pm-12pm intermittent fasting. Taking brisk 30 minute walks daily. Drinking 2L of water daily. Taking 500mg of Metformin ER. Vitamin D supplements. Thyroid is normal. Sleeping pretty well.

Since doing all this for a month I feel.....worse? Lol. I also gained 10lbs and I'm having nerve pain in my hands, feet and side. I'm also just having random symptoms that come and go and I'm not sure if they're related but they are just coinciding with all of this. For example I broke out in hives one day for some reason, another day woke up with extreme vertigo, another day had really severe painful cramps in my legs.

I'm like...wtf is going on?! 😭 I'm taking better care of myself than I ever have lol.

Is my body just reacting to the changes? I'm honestly not sure how I've gained weight, and the nerve pain I'm assuming can be directly related to insulin resistance. But why is it getting worse?

Anyone experience anything like this? I have an endo apt in June and I'm going to ask if she can up my Metformin. But in the meantime I'm at a loss.