u/No_Difference_8585

I struggle making the head from different angles, sometimes even when its just flat, most things i understand is 'draw a sphere and a jaw' and 'use the lines to see where the eyes and nose and mouth are!' Okay i do get that... just a bit, not much but okay i guess, but then there is the chin... the angle of the face... cut the head and add some curves and lines and whatever else that is. I dont get it, i freaking dont, there is so many stuff i do not understand at ALL, there are just so many methods that its honestly so messy, my whole focus has been on trying heads these days but even so i dont know how to even start! Grab a reference? Risk it and make something from imagination even if i good darn have NO idea on what and how im doing it? Spends another week of watching tutorials that honestly havent helped me as much as id wish and contradict eachother? I swear that so far i have hated doing heads and faces AS MUCH AS HANDS.

Infact i think this should have been called "how do i draw heads" smh...

So after drawing a bunch of stuff usually with references of pinterest i genuinely have to ask, if i want to draw something more anime stylized using an real person reference... How??? I see the same stuff of 'exageratue' and whatever the hell else but barely any explanation on how or what, most stuff im told is rather vague.

My attempts either end being hyper realistic or plain awkward, do i have to make stuff smaller and bigger? Thinner and wider? How does one do something that doesnt involve just plagiarism? Is there even a way there can be an example?

I genuinely dont know what flair to add to this. But uh... Im not much of realistic bodies if im honest, though its what i mostly made... ...Darn.

Im a literal baby artist, a fetus, and god it ALREADY has been so freaking stressful, tutorials have BARELY helped me, i try to see how the hell i do fundamentals and most of them feel like they expect me to already know everything else, or i just cant understand anything, genuinely i just dont see it, 'learn perspective! Anatomy! Color theory! Learn that—' THEN FREAKING EXPLAIN IT IN A WAY I CAN UNDERSTAND DUDE! YOU EXPECT ME TO KNOW SHIT?! Its even more annoying when i try drawing, i have a freaking Keen eye, making 3d in a 2d space not only is hard but i spot every single mistake i make and mindlessly fix them all the time spending THE WHOLE DAY ON A SINGLE PIECE! Most things i made are unfinished beacuse I HATE THEM. Everything i have made? Art i posted in reddit? I hate them. I despise them. I tell myself im such a loser for even trying to fit in a community with talented people, im a perfeccionist and i struggle with that and i cant help myself but compare myself... now i try to see how to stop it... ask how... and they just say 'dont compare!' ...THAT'S WHAT IM TRYING BUT HOW?! I JUST CANT! NOTHING INSPIRES ME! Heck! When i look at anime... a video with cool art... an animation... Wanna know what i feel? Anger, beacuse i just cant do that, and then theres younger people doing the bestest stuff ever... THEN I SHOULD HAVE BEGAN ART IN THE PAST?! WHAT'S THE POINT NOW?! God freaking— Dont even get me started on 'draw for fun'. ...Fun? You expect me to have fun burning myself every day? Doing 'practice' of a shit ton of fundamentals? Being unable to understand the obvious? Seeing my closest people be all so better? Everything i have drawn... WAS WITH A GOD DAMN REFERENCE I DECONSTRUCTED! AND I STILL CANT DRAW A SHIT WITHOUT IT! If i have to spend years killing myself with self loathing and anger then Why dont i just quit?! Simple! I did once consider it, but now i cant look at ANY form of drawing the same anymore, even watching an anime hurts so much beacuse "i could have been that..." ...And honestly id hate myself more beacuse i just have so many ideas... so many stuff... but now it all feels impossible, i genuinely feel smaller even among beginners... Beacuse most beginners i see just can do something that is all so good and mine is SHIT. I SWEAR IM LOSING MY GOD DAMN MIND! Even more annoying? HOW THE FUCK DO I USE REFERENCES?! I DONT WANNA MINDLESSLY TRACE BUT I FEEL LIKE THATS ALL I HAVE BEEN DOING! I had so much fun drawing in the past when i didnt have to make all this fundamentals stuff, now i just cant even feel what i once felt, now i FEAR trying, i HATE what i do, i DESPISE remembering my shitty drawings i made as a child, and i even take compliments offensively beacuse IM JUST FREAKING BAD. Im bad at learning, im bad at not being a perfeccionist, im bad at being fast, im bad at anatomy, im bad at using references, im. Freaking. Trash. Why do i even bother if it looks like im putting the drawing of a square with a face in the same museum where all da vinci's portraits are? THE MUSEUM SHOULD FREAKING KICK OUT THE SQUARE DRAWING, WHY WOULDNT THEY DO IT?!

I genuinely fear making art and NOT making art. I'd hate myself for now bringing all i have in mind to life. Im tired of the same empty words, the same empty video links leaving me with so many doubts, the same supporting words that do nothing to teach me how to continue, i genuinely want to cry every night. I dont understand videos, i dont understand anything they say, i simply know i hate even considering myself an artist. Im sure other people have gone through the same, but honestly? Seeing them move on while i keep rotting only makes me feel worse, i just cant take inspiration from artists... not anymore like before i began drawing...

Okay i had a lot of scrapped drawings ending in just references until i said 'Y'know what? First make it exist. Make it good later.' So i challenged myself to not oniy end something, i also decided to try to make a background and improve shading... It took me the whole day... But in the end im proud of it...

Did i learn something? Yes, freaking eyes suck, i understand backgrounds take time BUT EYES SUCK.

Ren hasnt even let online the revision document AT ALL, and depends on words of ther people that also end in nothing burger documents.

And now she is becoming a Vtuber??? She is ignoring the whole damn controversy, walking it off and have in X a lot of people supporting her even without considering her many holes.

Ren easily has the most holes and rathers play Apex Legends and whatever else.

Most people clearly didnt even read all or ANY of the documents, just went by the river, or they read them and didnt bother to inspect or double check.

If she ever becomes an Vtuber then we should warn that its someone who (possibly) ruined an (possibly) innocent man's life.

At this point im just tired.