Hi! I was reading Luke 6:43-44 earlier and got stuck on the part where Jesus says you know a tree by its fruit. Assuming we're the tree here — what does that actually look like in real life? What are the good and bad fruits Jesus talking about? And how am I supposed to figure out if I'm a good or a bad tree?
Hi everyone,
I found out about this course through my cousin. My previous church had hurt me deeply, so for some time, I had been searching for God and a new community where I could grow spiritually. She invited me to a webinar where they were discussing some parables. I remember being incredibly impressed; it was the first time I had heard someone explain the Bible so clearly. I signed up for the course right away.
At first, it was great. I live with my sick mother, my husband, and two children, so having these lessons felt like the first time I had ever had time dedicated solely to myself. In the beginning, it was just twice a week. Then, suddenly, they added a third weekly meeting. That was harder for me, but with the encouragement of my group leader, I decided to fight for my relationship with God. I had a lot of free time during the day back then, so I could prepare really well for the lessons and exams—I was doing great. I would join lessons while on vacation with my kids, and I started skipping outings with my family and friends. I even attended "in-person" meetings, leaving my family at home and driving halfway across the country just to be there.
I was still okay with all of this, but the meetings just kept piling up. Next came hours-long services running parallel to the class, evangelization, and meeting up with people we had approached on the street. Then there were teachings, meetings with my leader, and meetings just to review notes. I was still managing somehow, but I started to feel uneasy. Instead of spending weekends with my kids and evenings with my husband, I was sitting in front of Zoom for 4–5 hours a day. On top of that, regular in-person meetings became mandatory.
The turning point came when I went back to work after my youngest child started daycare. This coincided with me officially entering the church, and suddenly it turned out there were EVEN MORE meetings. And, of course, attendance was mandatory for all of them. I was joining meetings while getting my kids ready for school, rushing to meetings from work, and joining Zoom at night, sitting there until 11 PM (and sometimes even later!).
I felt completely exhausted. I also had the impression that after I officially joined the church, the mask dropped. Suddenly, everyone in SCJ became much less understanding. They would blow up my phone in the morning if I was just a few minutes late for a morning meeting, and they started reproaching me for missing more and more sessions, claiming they were "worried about my spiritual health." I started to feel cornered and overwhelmed. I knew I couldn't meet all their expectations—even though up to that point, I had been doing perfectly! I had even "recruited" a few people myself, completely unaware of where this was all heading, so in their eyes, I was a "fruitful believer"...
After completing my class, they put me in charge of a new, younger group. When I realized that I used to be judged, monitored, gossiped about, and that people had been taking screenshots and photos of me just like that, I felt sick to my stomach. I also started noticing more and more lies I was being fed. Completely unnecessary lies. I understand that at the beginning it was supposedly to "protect one's spirit," but at this stage, when I'm already a member? It felt very bizarre.
My well-being and health started to deteriorate. I felt increasingly overwhelmed, like I was failing at everything. They "generously" exempted me from a few meetings, but the workload was still massive! Twice a week for 4–5 hours, plus another 3-hour session, plus smaller teachings, meetings with my student, independent study, and whatever else they came up with. I started to wonder: is there only room in the Kingdom of God for people who have absolutely no responsibilities outside of maybe a job? No families? No children?
I felt worse and worse. I started praying to God, asking: God, am I supposed to feel this way in a place where You truly are? Is this really what my life is supposed to look like now? I was deeply unhappy.
A week ago, something inside me just snapped. During a lesson, I started googling SCJ. Up until then, I had been obedient and it hadn't even crossed my mind. I was in absolute shock. So many hurt, ruined people!!! So much controversy, and the court sentences of the supposed Promised Pastor! I left the meeting without a word. Of course, they started pounding on my door, calling me, and texting me non-stop, but I didn't want to talk to anyone.
What am I supposed to do now? I don't want to be a part of this circus anymore. Just the thought of sitting through another hours-long service instead of spending time with my kids makes me feel physically ill. I am also extremely worried about my cousin, who remains deeply embedded in the SCJ structure. I'm feeling so sick, thinking how many personal information about me, my family I gave to them, how I trusted them!
Has anyone had similar experiences with this place? Did anyone else feel this way?
Pomocy, płacę w złocie i dobrym słowie!
W moim bloku zagnieździł się patus, który od kilku dni robi nieustanną imprezę (przysięgam jak jeszcze raz usłyszę Palucha to odgryzę komuś ucho). Zrobił tu sobie meliniarskie gniazdko, spraszając wszystko co drze się powyżej 100 decybeli. Mieszkamy z malutkim dzieckiem, które budzi nam po nocach, byliśmy u niego kilka razy prosić o ściszenie ale zaraz na nowo jest to samo, wczoraj nie wytrzymaliśmy i w kilka mieszkań dzwoniliśmy na policje. Policjanci przybyli, pod samo okno dzięki czemu patus ściszył muzykę, posiedzieli, pośmiali się, zbili piąteczkę i pojechali (autentyk). Patusiarnia odpaliła się jeszcze bardziej bo jak to to kończyć im melanż i kazać ściszyć muzykę????
W poniedziałek zamierzamy złożyć skargę do spółdzielni w kilka osób ale na ten moment naszą jedyną nadzieją jest skontaktować się ze Patusem Seniorem, który zostawił mu mieszkanie i zjawia się co jakiś czas zrobić mu srogi OPR. Mam numer i chcę wysłać anonimowo wiadomość czy macie jakiekolwiek sposoby albo pomysły jak to zrobić? Przerobiliśmy kilkanaście serwisów internetowych typu bramka SMS ale niestety, same bezużyteczne scamy. Może macie jakiś nieużywany numer, cokolwiek? Oczywiście zapłacę.
Błagam pomóżcie bo już nie wyrabiamy.
[EDIT]
Dzięki wszystkim za pomoc- wygląda na to, że zadziałało, wczoraj mieliśmy w końcu spokojny cichy wieczór, mogliśmy się zrelaksować i pograć w Cywilizacje. Zobaczymy jak to będzie dalej.