i need something to doooo
16 year old girl here. i really want some money and i can't find anywhere that i can work. i can't drive, i haven't finished highschool, i don't have any friends around here and im not even very smart. i just want something to do this summer i am like ssuuuper bored and i really want money to buy my goodies. i don't have like anyone to hangout with and this summer has just been a hot hell. i just wish i had someone to hangout with or something productive to do. idc who it is i just don't want to feel so lonely anymore. i feel like i want to die if i don't have anything productive to take care of. i keep making problems for myself so i don't keep thinking about dying but it doesn't even work like i keep just going back to being sad and wishing that my life was so much more better and interesting like every other girl's is. what do kids my age even do during summer? do they all just like sit around by themselves on their phones? i have been doing that all day every day for months and it's been killing me. i wish i died like 2 years ago when my life was still fun and i didn't care about the future. now i care about people and like im sk afraid of dying useless without having done anything in my life. ive never really had a friend in real life. ive never had a friend group to hang out with. i hate myself for not socializing when i was younger. i have like 2 really close online friends now and they keep me wanting to live which is great and im really grateful for them. but i wish that i had real, physical people as friends. i think i could make friends once school starts up again but i don't want to wait that long. i know i am being impatient with this and everything will probably be ok when september rolls around but i just can't take it anymore. i have been isolated for more than a year now and id go outside like once or twice a month. ive just been like so depressed and i keep finding new ways to hurt myself and my life. all id do is find people to talk to online and then id get annoyed with them and want to stop talking with them or the other way around. so many people online hate me and think im weird and gross and i hate that it's true. i was wayy too glued to the online world and it really messed me up. idk what i want from posting this i just want someone to see it and want to help me get out of the house more. i want something to do or someone to see and go on walks with. my mom lets me out of the house whenever i want but i haven't been feeling like going out. i used to go out and like get a snack or some cheap makeup or stuff but now i have no more money so i have no more motivation to go out. please i just want anything to do like ill walk your dogs or look after them or something i love dogs. i can be a great friend if we have similar opinions and stuff like i swear im really cool and funny sometimes. idk im probs deleting this soon this is kinda embarrassing. thanks for reading :)