u/No_Shape1127

Hey everyone, I 21F and been married to my husband for less than a year and just got into a huge blowup fight with my husband 24M yesterday and I’m still simmering about it and I don’t want to make the first move to apologize because I feel his anger was very damaging to me and our marriage. I know… not a good thing to think.

Yesterday we had just gotten back from mass and it was discovered that I left very important personal information in my husbands work car for a week total that I mistakenly thought I brought inside just to remember I actually hadn’t. Yes I feel terrible for it.

Husband got super upset because admittedly I’ve been careless about this same situation before. I don’t mean to be, but I fall short and I take responsibility for it, I forget many important things and I need to do better. I apologize multiple times, saying that I swore I thought I brought the items inside. But instead of moving past it and talking calming, my husband blew up at me and thought I was talking back to him, I know I wasn’t, but he took it as that and in return I got frustrated and upset.

However when I’m upset I shut down talking and I honestly start to cry, I don’t know why, but my husband was horrible this time and immediately started yelling at me. His frustration came from telling me he doesn’t think I ever take responsibility for what wrong I do, that my parents didn’t raise my right to do that. I think that is true sometimes but I really was sorry and I apologized multiple times, I can’t go back and change what happened.

I stopped talking to him because I thought he was going too far, and being too cruel to talk to, so I decided to leave the house entirely. When my husband asked why I was leaving I told him it was because I didn’t want to be in the house with him. So for almost 4 hours I stayed away.

When I got back home, I didn’t look at him, we didn’t speak and I immediately went into the bedroom where I stayed away from him for the entire rest of the day. I didn’t eat a thing, I’m still angry and upset with how he spoke to me and for the first time in our marriage he didn’t join me in bed and instead slept on the couch. It’s morning now and we still aren’t communicating and honestly I don’t want to.

I know marriage is sacred and I should be doing more for it, but I feel so fed up with the way I was treated yesterday that I feel hurt. I know I am also in the wrong, but I’m lost with what I should do, what I should say, and what I should feel after his argument…

I’d appreciate any encouragement from woman here who have also had horrible fights with their husbands… and how to extend grace.

Hey everyone, here for some advice from maybe woman that have been in this similar situation or could give me a insight on how I should handle this as a new Catholic.

The context of the title obviously needs some explanation. I grew up in a Protestant family and was Protestant myself before meeting my now husband, I’m currently going through OCIA and will be baptized Catholic in October! Now, my mother was a cradle Catholic who became Protestant and she’s had very negative views towards the faith ever since. She is also, VERY, vocal with her disagreements which is where this problem stems from.

I have a brother in law who is Catholic and there has been a bad history between my mother and him which my husband had been told all about during our dating stage (my husband is best friends with my brother in law), so there was already this pre conceived knowledge that being apart of my family unfortunately wouldn’t be easy due to my moms misunderstandings.

We’ve had drama in the past involving my husband and mother in situations like her feeling disrespected that my boyfriend (now husband) wouldn’t go to her church when he was down to visit, and during our wedding when we wouldn’t allow her to read from her King James Bible during our liturgy. All of which I stepped in to defend my husband. There has also been issues of my mom constantly bringing up religious talk slightly disguised in a way where she seems curious to understand my husband and brother in laws beliefs, only to then tell them in the end she believes they’re completely wrong.

So all of this in mind, I do not in any way blame my husband for his feelings of loathing when he hears my mother is coming to visit.

However, I do love my mother and my mother does actually adore my husband, always welcomes him happily into her home to stay as long as he wants and has always apologized or stepped back when either I or my sister (who is also becoming Catholic) tell her that she overstepped towards our husbands.

I live about 13 hours away from my family, I moved and got married all back in April this year. My Catholic brother in law and sister live in the same area as me. My sister has children which my mom always makes a habit of coming down to visit at least 1-2 times a year and stays for about a week or more. My mother is set to come down in about 2 weeks with a few more of my family members. My family always stays with my sister who lives out here because she has a bigger home than my husband and I do and she loves to host them. I heard my younger sister was tagging along for this visit so I reached out to her and offered her the spare room in my house so we could visit more… and right as my younger sister said she would love to, I got a text from my mom thanking me for making that offer and said she would also love to stay a night with me for a girls night.

Now of course, I don’t want that to happen because of my husbands comfort and I’m not sure how to delicately tell my mom an excuse as to why I don’t want her to stay just 1 night in my home, and I haven’t told my husband that my mom said that because I’m worried that he’ll think I’m not taking his feelings seriously or I’m disregarding his comfort in his own home.

I have anxiety about it now because while my mom thinks she can say any opinion she wants, my husband is very respectful towards her beliefs while in her presence and I don’t want drama started where she’s going to say something in our home she shouldn’t and I’m going to step in and it’s just going to make the relationship worse. I’m kind of hopeful that I can tell her there isn’t exactly space in my house and I’d rather her sleep at my sisters but I can visit with her for a girls night there, or that maybe she’ll forget she said that when she comes down.

Not sure what I should do. I know I should pray about it but I need advice because my husband and I are trying for a baby and once that baby is born my mom is going to want to visit and stay in our home and I’m not sure how to proceed and fix this anxiety because it’s feeling overwhelming 😕

Hey everyone, I (21F) got married to my husband (23M) recently and I’ve loved the experience. Some backstory to this post, I am not a dog person, I never have been and I’ve never been able to come to a point where I’ve genuinely wanted to be around a dog. My husband of course, is a dog person at heart and has an 11 year old border collie who clearly means a lot to him.

Early on in dating, I was always open about the fact dogs did not impress me and I couldn’t ever see myself bonding with one. I was introduced to my husband’s dog before we started dating and my rules around dogs are simply, I’m good with them existing around me as long as they don’t invade my personal space. So this would be, having to be right next to me without me having a choice and needing to constantly have love from me when they’ve received it from their primary caretaker their whole life.

My husband understood this and dating went on.

Back in January I moved in to make things easy to plan the wedding and I took over being the dog’s caregiver while my then fiancé (now husband) was at work. This is not a problem to me but again, I don’t enjoy dogs so the care giving was simply feeding, letting it outside and cleaning up his fur, even playing frisbee with it and sometimes taking him on a walk (I have however stopped walking him, because he’s reactive to other dogs and I don’t need that stress on me. I’ve decided that is my husband’s problem.)

I started to notice that my husband was expecting a bit more from me with the dog, like actually petting and pretending I liked it. But it’s just not possible for me to feel anything more than toleration towards his dog and it was explained again that I did not enjoy giving that personal space to the dog.

Fast forward to being married and the dog was quickly moved out of the bedroom to sleep in the hallway in front of our door, shut. This caused a bit of an argument between my Husband and I but with the dog in the bedroom I was being woken up constantly and it was starting to effect my relationship not just with the dog, but my husband as well. So, my husband ultimately agreed for my sake.

I’ve taken notice that when I’m home alone with the dog, he leaves me alone for the most part. But as soon as my husband comes home, suddenly, the dog needs to be near me 24/7. Following me everywhere I go, laying next to me by the couch and now has even gone so far to always have to lay next to my side of the bed on the floor only IF my husband is in the room with me and I’m in bed.

The bedroom is a personal space for me and I do not enjoy the dog being in it, therefore, if the dog decides to sleep on my side of the bed floor, I nudge it until it gets up and goes to my husbands side. Well, today it got up and then would come back 3 more times. I continued to nudge and redirect him, and once again, I noticed my husband started to get irritated. That irritation gets to be quite normal when I tell the dog to move when it’s too close to me, but it’s irritating for me as well because the dog never wants to be by me unless my husband is home and my husband is the one that loves it.

My husband and I get into fights every once in a while where he wants me to show the dog more affection and basically rule the house and go where it wants, but I want my husband to understand that I emotionally do not connect with the dog past taking care of it.

I know it’s not possible for me to ever love his dog, but I love my husband and I wish there were just more understood boundaries on my end. I know and worry it’ll continue to get to be a bigger problem in our marriage and more fights will arise. Not enough where it’ll cause a serious rift in our relationship, because my husband and I are quick to talk things out and apologize, but it is a draining topic to disagree on all the time. Has anyone ever seen the light at the end of the tunnel on this before?