r/CatholicWomen

Hes on paper a wonderful husband. He helps out around the house, helps with the kids, goes to the store.

But my goodness sometimes its hard to feel loved and valued by him but maybe thats just 10 years of marrige and 4 kids later.

I just feel like he doesnt love me for me. He puts me down a lot in terms of my likes (music, shows, books, food). I work in pediatrics and am ALWAYS learning about new songs and when i play them for the kids he always says their dumb and our kids dont like them. I mean I know thats trivial but still.

Going to the gym and running is important to me and ive told him its how I decompress and stay sane and keep myself healthy, he makes off handed comments about how he doesnt go bc his family is more important. And if i want to see friends or do something as a family with friends or my family its the same, "lets just spend time together bc I never get to see you". Which isn't true, we are together all the time. A lot of days were both off work at 2 and then at 830 when kids are in bed he wants me to pick an activity for us to do.. and then get annoyed if i say i dont know what i want to do bc im so freaking exhaused from work/kids/life.

Plus my job is emotionally heavy some times too and its hard to decompress from that.

He'll get a bit passive agressive too, like if I do something he doesnt like instead of talking to me about it, he ignores me for the night and then at 930pm when im ready for sleep he goes on an hour long rant of everything myself and our oldest has done wrong the past month. And our oldest is a GREAT kid and my husband is constantly on them about everything they do wrong to the point my oldest says I should leave him bc he doesnt treat me well.

Ive tried doing couples prayer books and it turns into him lecturing me on how to be a better wife and mom so I quit.

When we got togther he also told me he was one person, but I found out later as we got into our marrige that he lied about his college, he told me he was going to be a professional tennis player but needed foot surgery (neither ever happened), his faith life, where he lived ect, his age.. like nothing drastic but just enough to be like WTF. Also when our 2nd child was 2 he was having an "emotional affair" with a 19yo and THAT has made it really hard to trust him with deep stuff going forward in our marrige. I actually filed for divorce after reading their conversations plus hed been treating me very poorly at that point. But I decided against divorce bc I didnt want the kids to have to go back and forth like I did. So I stuck with it, we had 2 more kids. I did forgive him but I didnt forget about it.

Im just like why did you lie about who you were and marry me, then just not even to appreciate me for me ? Lile why didnt he just be truthful and let me decide for myself.

Anyways is this normal for marrige? Im debating counseling. I grew up in a home where I was verbally and emotionally abused and then sexually assaulted by a family member and my family protected him bc of his baseball "career" instead of helping me, my mom just said to lock my door and thats what boys do.

I feel so alone and like I have no one i can fully trust some days.

Hello all, if you look at my post history, you can see that I have been dealing with OBGYN issues for a while (about 7 years total). Well, I've finally found a provider who listens and is willing to give me care.

The issue is, my surgery is tomorrow. I am so scared of complications, of the results, and of the possible recovery time. I WANT this surgery, don't get me wrong! But what if they find nothing? What if they find a lot? What if I lose 15lbs again cause I can't eat like after my last surgery?

I guess what I am asking is for prayers. I am hoping for at least some endometriosis so that I have some answers and don't lose all my credibility with this doctor, but not enough that I will need general surgery to get involved. Is that dumb?

Please keep me in your mind tomorrow.

As the Catholic church holds a pro-life stance and I see many Catholics at pro-life events, I am a bit surprised that I have personally never met a Catholic family that has adopted or fostered a child from the system. The more I think about it, I also feel frustration and some hypocrisy about it (particularly protestors in my case). It's not really a secret that many children from the system carry emotional baggage with them due to their experiences

I'm kinda just hoping for some feel-good stories so I won't feel as mad anymore. I'd love to foster once I'm married, so hearing some experiences would also be great

Edit: My previous wording for emotional baggage has been pointed out as offensive, hurtful, and inaccurate. I'm very sorry for that, I sometimes lack the right expressions. I hope my expression now is more accurate

i want to focus solely on myself and my own growth and my relationship with God. i wonder if there are other christian women in the same boat ?

ps: question for other celibate women.

Hello everyone,

As the title suggests, I've been having difficulties with my adult daughter (23F) who I'll call "Annie". Annie and I have never seen much eye-to-eye, but I'd liked to think we'd grow closer as mother and daughter once she hit adulthood, but that hasn't been the case. I was alerted to the fact that she was an atheist when she was 16 by her younger brother, who was very upset at that revelation. We talked to her about the multitudes of evidence all around us of our Heavenly Father's existence, how the Church was sanctified by St. Peter, how doubt is a normal part of faith, but she just brushed us off and said she was an atheist, and to deal with it.

I respect her rights to her beliefs, and while I don't like that she has rejected God's gifts to us, I've only requested that she not try to convert her siblings, which she hasn't. The biggest issue for us happened last week, when I learned that she had in fact sterilized herself. At first I didn't want to believe it, but then she told me that she found a doctor to do it, and that I had driven her to the appointment a few months ago. I do remember driving her for a scheduled abdominal surgery, though she was vague with the details, and I suppose this is why. I would not have helped facilitate this had I known the true purpose for this surgery.

I try to hide it, but I'm beside myself. I'm so angry and disheartened that she chose to do that and while she doesn't believe it's a sin, the Church says it is. I don't want to kick her out of the house (she's far too young to live on her own, and her job doesn't pay very well and she's still a full-time college student), but I also don't want my other children to be negatively influenced and think these actions are morally licit.

Please help.

Last year, I spent around 8 months praying hard for a job. I was unemployed, anxious, and really asking God for an opportunity with good pay and stability. Eventually, I got the job I had been praying for, and at first I thought, “Finally, this is it.”

But now that I’m here, I’m struggling. The management culture feels toxic, priorities constantly change, expectations keep shifting, and I honestly feel like I can’t keep up no matter how hard I try. I’m exhausted most days.

Now I feel guilty because I’ve started praying for another job — one that’s healthier mentally but still pays well. Part of me wonders if that makes me ungrateful or even sinful, considering this was something I prayed for so hard before.

Has anyone else experienced this? Praying so much for something, finally getting it, then realizing it may not actually be good for you long term? What do I do? Is there something wrong with me?

Hello ladies, I am a newly engaged soon to be bride ! I will possibly be married around spring time next year and I was wondering how planning goes. If any married woman would like to help me pls do!! I have questions about choir, organists, and decor. I’m not so into having a huge wedding but ofc it will have to be planned and I’m not sure where to start. It all confuses me I just hope to have a beautiful sentimental wedding.

I’ve discerned religious life for a couple of years and I don’t believe God is calling me to religious life.

I’ve gone on dates and I don’t feel called to the vocation of marriage.

I am discerning with a 3rd order and that has been my greatest joy in the world.

I guess I expected I’d get married and nothing has come from that. Not saying that means I’m not called, but I don’t know. I sort of come towards acceptance.

Wondering if any other ladies have felt this way too?

From around Ravensthorpe? Moving there next year...

I (single, 27F) feel like my life is falling apart and I feel like I just need this to reset and would love to find and anchor or group of people that we can do this together with, we will end on August 22 which is the Queen's hip of Mary

During lunch with a close friend she shared with me that she has been struggling with romantic feelings for our priest. She also said she plans to share this with him this Saturday to find out if he has similar feelings.

I get it, as single Catholic women we love a God fearing man. However, I reminded her that having a crush on a priest is the same as having a crush on a married man. You can’t help how you feel but you can control your response.

I suggested seeking support with a priest in a neighboring parish and attending Mass there. I offered to start attending Mass in the new parish with her so she would have a friend to support her transition.

She strongly disagreed with all of my suggestions and told me I am not being a supportive friend and accused me of being judgmental. She said our priest is an adult and I need to stop acting like his mother. He can handle this. She also told me she thought I was more “chill”….. I am chill as in no judgement, let’s handle this. Not chill as in yeah, that’s a great idea.

My thought was that if she went to our neighboring parish it would provide distance, clarity and the support she needs. I am also considering the thoughts, feelings and pressure our priest is under. Yes, he is an adult and I’m sure he is 100% capable of handling the situation. Wouldn’t it be ideal if he didn’t have to?

I really didn’t mean to upset her. I sincerely was trying to provide healthy solutions that would support her in overcoming these emotions.

Isn’t it our job as Catholic women to step in when a friend could potentially be harmed? Or when their actions could harm someone else? To help avoid or at the very least minimize damage if at all possible?

How could I have handled this better? Should I have just listened and prayed for her? Did I cross a line?

I’m struggling with my weight and body image. I know this is not uncommon, but I do feel like it’s uniquely difficult from a Catholic perspective.

I tend to gain a LOT of weight with pregnancy and have large babies. I wasn’t super thin before having kids and each pregnancy has left me with an extra ten pounds, even after working hard to lose the weight. Plus breastfeeding makes it especially difficult to restrict calories without impacting my supply.

I’m currently pregnant with #3 and desperate to try to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight after this. But every healthy weight loss plan has one thing in common: TIME. Slow, steady weight loss is the only sustainable way.

And as a Catholic, I don’t really have the luxury of time. We do practice NFP to space my pregnancies for health reasons, but the vain reason of “I want to lose weight” doesn’t seem like a just reason to TTA for years.

It also feels discouraging that even if I do the work to lose the weight, I will likely have to do it all over again. Rinse and repeat. Not only with weight loss but with pelvic floor and ab repair, etc.

It makes me jealous of my secular friends who know they are done with children, who have their body back to themselves (no pregnancy/breastfeeding), and have all the years in the world ahead of them to focus on fitness.

I’ve just never felt so low and ugly and I’m desperate not to feel this way anymore.

For some context, I'm a cradle Catholic and my family stopped going to church after my mom divorced my step dad and I didn't get confirmed until 3 years ago (28F now.) I got into all sorts of trouble when I was away from the church - drugs, ssa and transgender ideologies, fortune telling and new age witchcraft and even ended up with a giant tarot card tattoo. All very much repented of years before my confirmation. This obviously limits my dating pool as a Catholic, even if I am devout (which I am, I have a very serious prayer life and prefer daily mass when possible) and that is without going into the health issues that sometimes leave me stuck in bed or on the couch all day that are not going away anytime soon if they ever do. I go to all of the doctors and I am still dismissed and left with the most basic treatment that basically only allows me to sit upright on the couch and still need mobility aids to do normal activities even if I don't need them at mass yet.

My boyfriend (ex fiance? Fiance?) was a very cultural Catholic before he met me, and he hadn't been to confession in years when we met, but I didn't know that until we got into marriage prep (because he had always gone to confession and mass and had even come daily with me at times since meeting), which many people assumed to be solely due to my previous housing becoming dangerous for my health and having nowhere else to go but to stay with him (trust me, there is nothing short of filing a DV report and getting the cops involved in a bold faced lie to get any resources to move out even to a shelter let alone to get housing assistance, and I am not willing to do that to someone who helped me out of a bad situation and has never hit me. Also, I only followed Fr Ripperger's advice to not take a man seriously if he didn't propose within a year of dating, and he took me very seriously when I told him my prerogative and expectations.) We have been trying very hard to regularize our situation and were even asked to have our engagement called off by our priest a month before our wedding date (yes we were sleeping in separate houses during our engagement. We even offered to postpone because we weren't sure if him just sleeping at his parents was enough to meet the four month requirement, but we're not offered an alternative priest to continue with marriage prep.)

Neither of us know how to deal with this. I feel like a burden and like there is nothing I can do except give up my dogs and go to a homeless shelter to make the church happy with our living situation, and put myself in another dangerous living situation as I would never be approved for a rental where I live based on my SSDI check which is barely $1k a month (yes, I truly am unable to work to make even supplemental income and was even denied help doing so by the state agency that claims to help disabled people get jobs.)

The stress of everything - the engagement falling through, my health not improving, and the strain of finances being slim from having to cancel a honeymoon with no refund, pressure from his family to end the relationship, and the resulting confusion of whether we are supposed to be getting married at all has not helped us at all, let alone the stress of me being looked at either like I am using him or am some sort of modern concubine (we are chaste. But people have their assumptions one way or the other since I can't maintain my own housing and they don't care to hear otherwise.) It has come to a point where my ex fiance has put a knife in my hand and asked me to kill him, because he can't bring himself to evict me or kick me out like his family wants him to, and the church won't approve our marriage, and even when exploring other parishes in the area we were told to go back to the same parish that rejected us. We have been placed in a pressure cooker and no one wants to address the harm that has been done to us.

I don't think that even if I left this situation that I would be able to end up in any kind of relationship that would be any different. I don't have family to go home to. My options would be living on the street where I would be likely to be picked up for human trafficking (which yes, I've been trafficked before so this is not an exaggeration) or staying in this situation that the church has refused to bless. Our priest that called off our engagement is now deliberately avoiding us at Sunday mass and his homilies are now about how prayer means accepting suffering which to me paints a picture of him being very unwilling to change his mind, especially since in our marriage prep he asked me directly what I thought prayer was and I gave him the thomistic answer of it being the source of all good things from God. He even emphatically read the holy week readings at us and almost laughed as he emphasized "the man you are with now is not your husband but you have had five husbands" from the woman at the well reading and I had to really hold back tears because it was humiliating. He also implied that since my sacramental record is so different than most (different parishes and different years and my mother lying about who my father was and my last name on my sacramental records when I was a child) that I must be hiding another marriage. He also deliberately ignored items flagged on the foccus assessment that I wanted to address in favor of asking us to call off our engagement and not referring us to another priest and instead telling us that we would have to retake our foccus assessment which makes it feel extra pointed that he would not address my concerns.

I am heartbroken and I feel like there are no true remedies to my situation. They will not even speak to me about vocation and have ignored my requests to speak about even that. How am I supposed to regularize my situation if the church will not help? All I want is to be in a state of grace and free from venial sin again. We did everything we were told and it feels like we've been abandoned pastorally. We are both in catholic counseling individually and as a couple, but this was only used as a reason to call off our marriage due to mental health reasons (neither of us are impotent or incapable of consenting to the marriage, so I'm not sure if he really thought us having health issues one way or another was truly an impediment to marriage or not but canonically it is not.) This was also used as reason to deny him from joining the Knights of Columbus after they had hounded him to join for months and had already charged him a $700 deposit, which they did refund, however it has all been humiliating as a process. Our priest even specifically would request to schedule our marriage prep at the same time as the one ministry meeting we participated in at our parish which felt like actively discouraging us from participating in parish life together.

I love this man, he loves me, we have been through so much together and we have shared goals for the future that we both have been so excited for that include raising children in the faith and finally having our own family (which is incredibly meaningful for us as i have been estranged from my family and he was adopted as a baby), we follow the church's teachings to the best we are able to do and actively tried to avoid our living situation every way that we could, and it just feels as if we are being opposed from every side or treated as unreliable even with sacramental records.

We are bending over backwards to our detriment to try and please the church and our priests will hardly speak to us, and when simply attending daily mass at a parish with a better mass time for after my boyfriend gets off work and were told by one of the priests to make sure that we go to Sunday mass at our home parish, even though that mass time hardly ever works for us with my disability. I've tried calling the chancery, and they gave me the number for the tribunal, but again I have no idea if this is the correct process being that neither of us have ever been married before and all I know about the tribunal is it has something to do with annulments. What on earth are we supposed to do?

Hi Ladies :)
I’m in my early 30s and finally met a man of the same age last year in the church and have had a very intense connection with him, get on very well with his family who is in the church as well, and we genuinely do love each other.

All was going well until a bad slip up (on both our ends) and ended up committing sins against purity/fornication and we were both given rather severe penances by our own separate confessors. For penance we were basically made to go no-contact, in essence, for a month, other than seeing each other at mass. He has bounced back from this pretty easily and seems to be doing quite well now, and is reassuring that he loves me and has no issue going back to social spaces with shared catholic friend groups.

I’ve not felt so comfortable, on the other hand. It’s pretty clear to our mutual catholic friends that something happened between us because of how we have had to be isolated from each other and going out in groups and I feel like i’m under a level of scrutiny that he’s just…. not. The way people talk to me is over cautious, if at all, and I generally feel like I’m wearing a scarlet letter and after 6 years of chastity it feels pretty bad. It’s also affected my relationship which I feel like I don’t understand anymore. I’m afraid to be in *too* much contact with him to begin with because I’m reminded often of how xyz can be a “stumbling block” and I wonder if I’m doing something wrong by doing something that could even be seen as demonstrating interest or pressuring him asking about his job or house he’s buying or any normal life things I’d otherwise feel totally fine asking a friend about. After a month without really talking, locked up by myself in my head, I just feel like I am the problem here because I was the one who was fine with us having sex when he drew the line (arbitrarily in the eyes of the church/in terms of sin) at equally or if not more disordered sinful sex acts because of pregnancy concerns.

I know rationally that the judgement of men doesn’t matter, it’s the judgement of God that does, so long as I’ve been through the sacraments properly…. but the whole long no contact penance itself seems counter productive to me now. If anything, he seems *more* into me physically since having this limit imposed on himself by his confessor, and I definitely felt exceptionally distracted by thoughts and compulsions about him during that time that I wouldn’t ordinarily struggle with.

The problem is I don’t know where we stand now and have been generally depressed bordering on despair for weeks after the period of penance ended. The issue is maybe I should have had other social outlets other than with these people who I knew I’d be banned from interacting with in social settings if I fell into sin in a predictable way (as it’s happened before and at this point I think we both realize we need to do something about it, because we can’t keep carrying on ending up in situations like this) and now can’t get myself out of this feeling that I’ve ruined everything, including my spiritual life, as I’ve even missed mass (extremely out of character) just feeling like there was no point in my going just to be a temptation basically and hurting my own relationship to God. As I’ve told the man, I really don’t believe in dating and I don’t care about being anything near wealthy or having a huge house or anything before marrying, but he insists he needs to get his affairs in order to be the man basically. He’s been concerned when I have missed mass but I don’t know how to explain to him or to my priest what is going on as I can’t really pin down a certain sin other than sort of flirting with despair over how this has affected my relationship to the church and made me feel like I’ve prioritized something over God that makes me just want to run as far as I can from this area/parish and be done with it.

Not sure if this is a normal form of penance for sexual sin that comes up in social situations even among catholics either, but it certainly is in my area. So when 2 people suddenly disappear it’s fairly clear what’s happened to anyone who notices in your social circles.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I can’t shake what I’ve been feeling even after the required period of penance has ended, I haven’t drank or gone out in a month, and when I tried to meet up with friends again everything is just off and I’m still feeling extremely low 🫤

I know that this will obviously vary by location, but I want to know how the dating pool is looking within the Catholic community? I'm 22F.

Some background: I have been on and off interested in Christianity for about 4/5 yrs now. The variety of denominations have always confused me but I started going to OCIA December 2025, and will go again starting in next month, June 2026. While there are many things I don't fully understand, I haven't learned anything there that I disagree with.

One of the initial reasons that drew me to Christianity was that my biggest wish in life is to get married and have children. Even before I believed in Jesus, I thought that I would want to marry a Christian man and raise my kids with those values (someday, I don't have kids right now). Eventually it hit me that in order to do that, I should also believe. That's not what's why I'm continuing to grow in my faith, but it was one of the things that brought me here.

Anyways, I still have a few questions/concerns/thinking to do within myself before I take the next step in deciding I want to get the Catholic sacraments of initiation.

1. I haven't ever really dated (though have made some poor choices). I've heard it's best for Catholics to date Catholics. This makes sense to me because I'd be dating for marriage and it's important to be on the same page about that. But is it hard to find a good Catholic Man? Again, I don't really know what the dating pool looks like in general but I just feel like I would be 'limiting' myself by only dating Catholic men. But then at the same time, I think that it's probably not limiting but more decerning the right type of man? I don't plan to start dating yet but would like to get myself out there within the 6months to a year.

2. More importantly: Something that scares me is the thought of 'what if I'm lying/pretending about my faith in God?' I don't have this thought as much when I imagined being part of the other Christian denominations, but being Catholic feels more serious ‐ probably because it's full and true.

I don't know if that made sense or sounded silly. I think I had other thoughts to but they've escaled me at the moment. I don't think I articulated all of my thoughts very well. But I would appreciate any feedback or guidance.

I’ve started reflecting recently on the passage in scripture where Jesus says that towards the end of the world “the love of many will grow cold”. I’ve realized that I don’t hear anyone reference the golden rule hardly at all anymore. The modern narrative is not to treat others the way you want to be treated, but to treat people how they deserve (which essentially sets each person up as judge and jury in the court of public opinion). I know I personally can be a bit too idealistic, but I do actually believe that being a good person to mean people is still an incredibly good thing, and that it’s an authentic expression of our own character as well as the only real way to overcome evil (that’s not to say tolerate maltreatment in any lasting way, but to simply have it end with us without returning it to the offender). I fear that the world is losing its humanity at an alarming speed. Am I overreacting, or do others here feel this way as well? And, how can we make any lasting impact to improve things beyond praying for peace and unity?

Hey guys

I use to partake in casual sexual relationships

I've since started my journey in Catholicism (in OCIA) and tried to remain abstinent and stay away from lust

However, with this change.. one of my previous partner doesn't understand this. I feel like he has such a hold on me and its effecting my spiritual relationship w God.

I've fallen off my prayer routines and although I'm struggling to keep going w it, it's only gotten harder

Next thing I know, I'm more prone into going back to my previous habits such as p* or m*.

Deep down I wish this guy would find his path to God

But I don't know if he would ever - He claims to be Catholic, goes to church during Easter - but he doesn't think I'm being reasonable.

I want to not be in such a grip of worldly and physical desires.

Any advice?

Cheating , infidelity , and marriage as a cross to carry

My husband paid over 3-4k on over 31 online cam girls and digital escorts (amongst many other terrible things, e.g, even finding women who live a few minutes from our house… but he claims he never met up with them). We’ve been married for less than 3 years and have a one year old.

Our family priest , who has been working with us for almost 3 months in this issue, states that his sin and this marriage might be a cross for me to carry. That the fact God showed me his sin might be because God wanted me to help him with his edification process.

Biblically speaking, is any of this valid? Would God want me to stay with a man who cheated on me 6 months into marriage (chatting with women in person and making plans to meet up again) and who dealt with digital escorts and alcoholism almost immediately after I gave birth? Is there any Biblical standing for what our priest told me?

He had already gone to confession 24 hours before God revealed to me step-by-step how to find everything. He feels that his repentance to God is enough, and my request for access to credit cards, his phone, and his social media is a sign of me trying to control him. He says God has forgiven him so he will not allow me to make him feel shame.

He had been a follower of Christ his whole life, and when we were dating, he was even someone who convicted me to do better in my faith and to read scripture even more (we did sooo many Bible studies together). This is not a man who could’ve been considered an atheist or an unbeliever. He was one of the youngest members of their churches council frequently did readings at church participate in activities as an events and even supports with communion. He’s also one of the people working on a multi year rosary Congress occurring throughout Latin America and Africa. So his behavior, which he says came about because he was lonely because I had just given birth, is horrid. He was praying for us and anointing our head with oil in the morning…hours after he had been on calls with these online prostitutes .

He has also spent the past three months, blaming me telling me to see my part and all of this and creating lies about me to his family and close friends… and then saying he never said such things. For example, on Mother’s Day, his brother called me and asked me how I was and I told his brother what was happening. His brother said he didn’t know that this was going on and as I was telling his brother all that has happened my husband started yelling out that I’m lying and not telling the truth. As recently as a week ago he said that they weren’t prostitutes that they’re just women …. He will apologize and say sorry and that he wants to stay married and to work on the marriage, but then he’ll also do stuff like that.

I’m really struggling to trust God right now. To really believe that He works things out for the best. My daughter’s best friend is probably going to be sent to a new foster home, we’ve begged and begged to be considered as a placement because she knows us already and I know she’d be safe and cared for here— but she’s a Native American child and we are not a Native American family.

I haven’t stopped crying since I got the news that her current foster mother is giving her up. This baby is only four years old. She won’t know that we wanted her. That anybody did. Reunification is less and less of an option with her biological family, and she’s so so loved here. Her (adult) older sister is in a long-time relationship with our nephew and they have a child together. She’s part of our family.

I want so badly to know that she’s safe and whole and happy wherever she’s placed. Even if it’s not with us. But I don’t think we’re ever gonna see her again and I’m devastated. I can’t stop crying. At some point I’ll have to explain to my daughter why she hasn’t been visiting and why I can’t set up a play date. And I’m just. I don’t understand.

I don’t understand God’s plan here. This is an innocent child who’s going back into the foster system and anything could happen. I just want to know that she’s safe. I don’t understand why she couldn’t stay with us. I’ve prayed and prayed and prayed and I’m still so angry and confused.

Really struggling with the three kids I have at the moment and what being open to life means in practicality. I don’t want to be pregnant again right now and maybe never. My last pregnancy was so hard and my current one year old is the most challenging kid. I feel overwhelmed just thinking about it. Sicknesses take weeks to work their way though the whole daily I don’t know how large families cope. I would just choose to not have relations, but that seems unfair to my spouse. I used to want a big family and I feel like I’m broken. I want to be faithful to the church but it’s so much harder than I ever imagined. I just needed to be honest about this somewhere with faithful Catholic women because I’m afraid to tell my friends in real life. The no. Catholic ones won’t get it and most of my Catholic friends I’m afraid to talk to about this.