There's a wave of people online with the narrative that she didn't do it, others saying she isn't at least at fault, and others who are demanding the guilty verdict asap.
If you're following the case, how are you feeling about it as a Catholic?
Hi lovelies! Just for fun, how long were you in a relationship + married before you and your partner began TTC. Would you have wished to wait longer, TTC sooner, or was it the perfect timing in your marriage? I’m not looking for personal advice, just getting to know other Catholic women’s experiences!
I’m 22 and have been married for only 4 months. I loved my husband and genuinely wanted this marriage to work, but I’ve been feeling increasingly unhappy and emotionally drained.
Our arguments can get intense, and there have been times when he’s punched or hit objects around me during fights. He hasn’t hit me, but it still scares me and makes me uncomfortable expressing myself.
I don’t want to be married anymore, and this relationship makes me hate Catholicism because every time we argue he says I should just submit to what he says because he is the man.
I dont know what to do, we tried marriage counseling and it was ok, I dont want to live my whole life like this. What should I do?
I choose to veil at mass due to many reasons. 1 Corinthians 11, modesty, reverence in the presence of the Lord, etc. One question I do have is about when I am to veil. Obviously during mass but I work in a church, so I’m constantly in front of the body of Christ. Should I be wearing in just during mass or should I be wearing it all times I am in the nave?
Please forgive me on my lack of knowledge, I’m always learning :)
Hello, I'm 25 years old and I feel so old and worthless. Sorry for this depressing post… I need to talk to some Catholic women…
Since around 2024, I've started feeling a lot of anxiety and pressure about being considered past my prime by men, afraid it will be too late to have a husband and a child, afraid of the biological clock, as some like to point out. I've never had a boyfriend. I hardly have any friends at all.
I'm afraid of reaching 30 and never having had any romantic contact or conversation with a man. As a teenager, I dreamed of Prince Charming and I was very romantic. But the more time passes, the more I realize that men either leave me indifferent or disgust me. I also get the impression that a lot of Catholic men are misogynists… On the internet, redpill and incel rhetoric is rampant, and I feel so inadequate. I'm sometimes envious of Catholic girls who are already married or engaged, who have found someone while I'm super shy around men and lack the confidence to talk to them. I'm fed up with the rhetoric from these "radtrads" who say that a woman is worthless if she doesn't have children or isn't married, if she wears pants, if she has passions and wants to talk about them…
I've recently become closer to Anglicanism and Lutheranism, which I find much more calming than the Catholic environment, which I find incredibly anxiety-inducing. It hurts me because I know that by doing this, I'm causing pain to Christ, but I so desperately need to get away from the church, from all my anxieties about hell, the fear of being judged by others, the fear of not being a perfect enough woman… I'm exhausted.
Could you please pray for me ? May God reward you fivefold. Thank you so much.
Bonjour
vu que l’Église catholique ne donne pas de catalogue précis de la modestie (les règles style Marylike ne sont pas dogmatiques), je me dis qu’au final, chacun fait un peu selon sa conscience ? Avant, j’étais extrêmement scrupuleuse là-dessus, mais aujourd’hui je pense que la pudeur dépend beaucoup du pays où l’on se trouve et de son propre discernement.
Par exemple, j’adore les mini-jupes. Je n’ai jamais pu en porter avant parce que je n’aimais pas mes jambes et que j’en avais honte avant ma conversion . Mais comme je prévois d’aller aux JMJ et que je sais qu’en Corée ce n’est pas du tout vu comme immodeste, je me suis dit que j’allais enfin pouvoir en porter, tout simplement parce que je trouve ça très mignon. Je sais bien qu’en Occident la mini-jupe n’est pas vue comme la chose la plus pudique qui soit, et comme je fais 1m70, on me dit souvent que c’est encore plus « impudique » sur moi que sur une fille d’1m50. Mais pour moi, c'est juste joli.
On m’argumente aussi souvent qu’il ne faut pas « faire tomber son frère ». Mais honnêtement, il y a des gens qui sont attirés par les pieds, par les cheveux, ou qui fétichisent absolument tout. Si je devais écouter tout le monde pour ne brusquer personne, je finirais en burqa. Je n’ai pas envie de me priver de porter ce que j’aime à cause du regard ou des désirs des autres.
C’est la même chose pour les règles de pudeur de la Bible : je pense qu’elles sont littéralement d’un autre temps et pas adaptées à toutes les cultures. Par exemple, quand saint Paul recommande le voile et interdit les coiffures élaborées avec des tresses : je suis noire, donc si j'appliquais ça à la lettre, j'aurais été « impudique » toute ma vie ! Un afro volumineux ne tient pas sous un voile classique, et les tresses sont littéralement la base pour entretenir et coiffer des cheveux crépus. Cette règle ne peut physiquement et culturellement pas s’appliquer à moi.
Bref comment vous jugez pour vous même ce qui est modeste ou pas?
Been married for a few months now. One thing I cannot seem to get used to is cooking for my husband.
One thing is the quantity. When i was single I'd cook a recipe for myself and have it for dinner over 3 to 4 days. Often now even if I cook a recipe that says it "serves 4" it turns into just serving 2, because i have my portion for dinner and my husband eats the rest of the dish, leaving none for the next day. On rare occasions when we do have leftovers, my husband refuses to eat leftovers for dinner the next day and complains. So I'm cooking so frequently because of the amount that he eats.
The other thing is his requirement for there tk be protein at every meal. I like meat myself, but sometimes, its ok to have a meatless dish to give yourself a break from it, and the fact that meat is expensive. But when i cook a meatless dish he gets angry and complains that there's no protein.
He has his other complaints, like salmon having to be wild caught and not farmed (even if its farmed in Canada). Wild caught salmon isn't always available in stores. I personally really like salmon and am ok with farmed salmon but ive given up cooking salmon altogether because its not worth listening to him complain about it not being wild caught. And even for lunches, he wants sandieches, fine I make them and but various cold cuts ar the deli. He's fine with it sometimes, but then complains the next minute sayig thay my sandwiches are always the same.
I'm so drained and frustrated with cooking for him. Sometimes I even feel stressed about it and makes me not enjoy married life. Idk what can I do?
⚠️ QUESTIONS ⚠️ANY GUIDANCE OR HELP IN UNDERSTANDING!!
For starters I did read the guidelines and don’t know for certain if this will go against them. If they do please don’t hesitate to remove the post (I just ask for a suggestion of another group to post to?)!
I have gone to confession over and over and over and over because I just feel so weak and I can’t seem to break this habit or even addiction if you will. I’m so uncomfortable even saying it so why do I do it?? I repeatedly fall into the sin of “self-pleasure”. I don’t want to go anywhere other than a catholic thread because I feel like I just need tough love but also to be heard out- I have questions. I don’t know where else to go.
The church and my past relationships have trained me to see any sexuality as just icky and bad even in my own marriage. Even after we do it I feel like I should be ashamed… even though it’s being done how God intended. I feel like I need to hide it. We also have 2 kids and another on the way so don’t come at my husband please. This is my problem.
As a woman of God (I try to be at least) I struggle to understand something - for some reason God made our source of “completion” impossible to hit with normal marital sex requiring outside assistance if you will. WHY?! This is where I have a really hard time - after I do it I feel so much lighter and more active and productive and like my 24/7 brain fog lifts for even an hour! And that’s really the feeling I’m seeking but can’t seem to achieve it any other way.
So back to my point- why does something so physically/mentally and SCIENTIFICALLY/BIOLOGICALLY beneficial to a woman be so sinful and against God?? He designed our bodies right?? Is it wrong if your husband does it for you? I am confused whether this is mortal or venial because I truly can’t tell if I have control.. it doesn’t feel like I do. I go through phases but like I said I have a few kids so hormones are just everywhere too.
I guess I’m just looking for anything to help me make sense of things… because those reasons seem to be what the devil uses to tempt me. I pray and pray and surrender it to Him the best way I now how but I guess I just can’t let go.. I feel sick and scared and confused. Every time the “high” fades I feel like Gods given up and like I have no business even trying anymore.. so might as well keep doing it. It’s a horrible cycle. Please be kind.. please pray for me. I’m not worthy of His love but I pray He is patient with me and helps me.
I also can’t talk to my husband about it because he would just be ashamed of me too.
EDIT: and the scrupulous OCD is telling me I’m going to lose my baby.. I understand this is a bit more intense for the page I just need help and women to talk to through this who maybe have suffered similarly
I want to ask people who are especially stay at home moms- how much does your husband do when he gets home? What kind of work does he do during the day? Does he have responsibilities in the evening (chores, doing the dishes after dinner, bath time, etc) or does he rest? How much are you expected to do? I’m curious as to how stay at home moms usually balance their work as a mom all day with taking care of the house in the evenings as well.
I won't go into a lot of details, but basically we were together for 2 and a half years, September 28th is our anniversary but he would never call me his girlfriend in public. I was always his "Friend". To our friends and his family, he was always discerning priesthood in public but when we were behind a closed door he loved me and wanted to be with me and marry me someday, we had 3 baby losses one of which he asked me to abort but I refused unfortunately, I still lost my baby. I don't know if I'll ever send this as a letter, but I just pray none of you ever go through this type of pain and loneliness. I'm pregnant with his child, he knows and the biggest pain? This past Sunday mass at his parish, I saw on YouTube him holding hands with a girl during our father and hugged her during the sign of peace, they were also talking before the mass started.
"I would have laid my life down for you, yet you called me "friend".
We made love, yet you called me "friend".
I would have married you whenever you asked me, yet you called me "friend".
I have and would have borne your children and grown our family, yet you called me "friend".
I wanted to help your dreams grow after watching you grow from dreaming your dreams, yet you called me "friend".
You held my hand when we lost our babies, yet you called me "friend".
You watched me have seizures and took care of me in sickness, yet you called me "friend".
You called me "friend" to our friends and your family. As I smiled through the pain of the word that felt like a knife in my heart, "friend".
We both knew we were more than that. It felt as if every time you said it, you meant it. I was a "friend" holding someone else's place. I was just your "friend" through all the nightmares and love and graces we were given.
I never spoke my sadness because I feared the silent frustration you had shown before. I feared the "you know it's not like that" speech.
All I wanted was to be seen and actually shown off as your girlfriend, not hidden as a secret to the ones closest to you and us. The pain I felt, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
I remember you crying over Leah's names for her babies because Jacob didn't love her, he didn't seem to care, I wanted to cry because I knew how she felt.. I cry as I recall us losing our children I relate to their babies names.
Reuben: feeling like I was not enough to be called yours in public after losing our first baby, Simeon: feeling like you were there because you felt guilt for what had happened to us and our babies, our son Luke felt like Levi: I wanted so much to be your wife and to marry you, as much as I love you, with this child, if it is a boy, his name is David, if it is a girl, her name is Ruth, regardless, this baby will be my Judah: even in my pain and grief because of my love for you, this time I will praise The Lord.
There's nothing worse than loving and going through so much with someone so much and they just call you their "friend"."
My fiancé and I are planning for an April wedding. We are both so excited about the marriage prep process and are looking forward to our wedding mass!
I feel like something is wrong with me though because I don’t care as much about the reception. I don’t care about the details. I just want to find a venue and a caterer and have our family together. I don’t care about color schemes. I’m fine with getting some flowers from Trader Joe’s and putting them in bud vases. We don’t want a DJ. We only would like a photographer for our Mass. We are both so invested in the liturgy and the sacrament and just feel “meh” about reception planning. I’m in a couple subreddits (r/weddingsunder10k and r/diyweddings) but even seeing photos people post and all the details seem exhausting. Our guest list is about 100 people. We are so excited to celebrate with them but again, I’ve been finding myself anxious about their experience if I’m not obsessing over all the details.
Edit to add: we’re going to have music from a playlist, just not a DJ! And, I was thinking of doing disposable cameras at each table for photos. Otherwise, the photos we’re hoping for are those from the Mass.
Another edit: we’re paying for this ourselves and are on a tight budget. His mom has offered to help plan, my mom doesn’t seem to want to help.
Adding in that I don’t want a bachelorette and I’m 32 so I don’t really want/need a bridal shower. For the day of, I’m looking at DIY hair and makeup. Professional makeup looks so heavy/unnatural to me (again, my personal taste)
Am I the only one?? I worry somehow I’m apathetic to this but I have only ever dreamt of the sacrament and liturgy rather than the reception on the day
I am posting this out of frustration. I am so weary of front row Catholics. So many people I interact with on this sub and in my parish would rather glorify themselves and their own piety than to be a friend to their fellow man it seems. People chasing others away from the faith with a ”you can’t sit with us“ attitude, rather than make real sacrifices and welcome new converts. Our faith is literally dying and the few faithful we have are acting like heaven is at capacity. It is nothing more than cruelty and vanity parading as virtue and I’m sick of pretending like it isn’t. I totally get being proud of your faith and defending your beliefs, but this isn’t that. It’s the people yelling the creed in the front row so everyone can hear how very virtuous they are. People making a big show of their offerings. Etc. If it only effected me and was annoying that would be one thing- but it’s insidious because it’s turning Mass into a pageant and it’s making new comers think they aren’t “good enough“ to be Catholic. I’m sorry for being so fired up. I just don’t know how to deal with my feelings I guess. Maybe I should just get off the internet. I know that my anger is not very Christ like. Please pray for me.
Hi lovelies! Me and my boyfriend have been seriously discussing engagement. Out of curiosity, how long was your engagement? We are planning on a longer engagement, but I want to know the timeline that either did or didn’t work well for you and your engagement!!! <3
I was born and raised Catholic. I used to be at church all the time, I participated in everything and had many roles there throughout my life. I reduced my participation when I was around 16 because of my ex-boyfriend. he was also from my church and I had serious issues with him..at the time I had to even go to the police because he was threatening me and I ended up leaving that church and everything all together. I was very sad at the time. church was a huge part of my life. all my friends were there and i didn’t feel supported by anyone. my ex became my friends’ friend and that really hurt me!
I’m currently 30, but I haven’t really practiced for several years. Recently I’ve started feeling a pull toward it again, and I’m trying to figure out where I actually belong.
My current boyfriend and I recently went to a Catholic mass together. He was baptized Catholic but wasn’t really raised practicing and has had more exposure to Protestant churches as an adult. Going back to Mass was surprisingly emotional for me. I cried, and it felt really meaningful to reconnect with God after being away for so long.
At the same time, I’m struggling..
There are things about Catholicism that I still feel very connected to. I believe in Mary and I’m comfortable with the idea of asking Mary and the saints to intercede for us. I’m drawn to the history and tradition of the Church, and there is something about Catholicism that still feels like “home” because of how I was raised I guess..
But culturally, I often enjoy Protestant churches. I like the contemporary worship music, a younger congregation, Bible studies, women’s groups, activities, community, and a less formal atmosphere.
The Catholic Mass we attended was beautiful, but it was very quiet, traditional, and mostly an older congregation. I would really love to find a faith community where I can make friends, eventually raise children, participate in groups, and actually feel involved rather than just attend a service once a week.
We also visited a non-denominational church that I enjoyed a lot more in terms of worship and community. But during the sermon, the pastor talked about Jesus having biological siblings and made a comment about Catholics because of the Catholic teaching about Mary’s perpetual virginity. That bothered me more than I expected. It made me realize that some of my Catholic beliefs might actually matter to me more than I thought.
Then there are the bigger disagreements.
For example, I’m pro-choice. Personally, I don’t think I would have an abortion unless my life was in danger. But I believe abortion should remain legal and accessible. I see it as an important women’s rights/public-health issue, and I don’t believe everyone in society should be required to live according to Catholic moral teaching. I understand that this is a significant disagreement with the Catholic Church, not just a minor difference of opinion.
I also currently live with my boyfriend and we aren’t married. We do want to get married soon, but we haven’t gotten there yet.
I have a very all-or-nothing personality, which makes this harder. My brain immediately goes to: “If I’m going to be Catholic, then I need to agree with everything the Church teaches and live perfectly according to it. If I don’t, then maybe I shouldn’t call myself Catholic at all.”
But I’m realizing that maybe faith and discernment don’t work that neatly.
I’m not trying to find a church that simply tells me everything I already believe. I genuinely want to figure out what I believe is true. At the same time, I don’t want to force myself to pretend that I agree with teachings that I currently don’t agree with just because I want to belong somewhere.
I’m especially interested in hearing from people who have actually been through something similar.
Were you raised Catholic, left, and eventually came back? Did you seriously consider Protestantism before choosing Catholicism? Are you Catholic while still struggling with or disagreeing with some Church teachings? Did your beliefs gradually change after coming back, or are there things you still wrestle with? Did anyone choose Protestantism even though there were parts of Catholic theology they still loved? How did you separate “which type of church experience I enjoy” from “which theology I actually believe”?
And for Catholics: how do you handle the feeling that you have to be 100% aligned with everything before you’re “Catholic enough”? Is there room to come back, attend Mass, learn, pray, and wrestle with things without already having all the answers?
For Protestants/former Catholics: if you left Catholicism, I’d also genuinely like to hear what ultimately convinced you. Was it theology, Scripture, Church authority, your personal experience, or something else?
I’m not looking for people to attack Catholics, Protestants, pro-choice people, pro-life people, etc. I know these topics can get heated. I’m really just hoping to hear honest experiences from people who have had to work through these questions themselves.
Right now, “I’m discerning” is probably the most accurate description of where I am.
thank you very much!
No one is stronger than a woman whose about to get her period and is praying the sorrowful mysteries, my goodness the tears could not be stopped.
PSA: Pray the Rosary today!
So I’m mostly posing this question to married women, but anyone is free to offer their opinion.
But basically I have a boyfriend of 1.5 years, we plan to get married in one year. At the start of our relationship I was still quite immature and so I made some mistakes. Without going into too many detail bcs thats not what this post is about, when we first started dating I was still friends with some guys that have previously shown they liked me/ I liked them. But at the time that we started dating those feelings were gone so I just assumed it was still okay to keep the friendships going. Back then I didnt tell my boyfriend these things because I didnt want to worsen his anxiety which he had a lot of (he kept thinking I’m going to leave him). It was very stupid and immature of me, and I have learnt a lot from those mistakes. I told him everything a couple months ago and we moved on from the situation (those friendships fizzled out by then anyway).
Now, I have also developed scrupulosity in the past 9 months. I am even going to a psychiatrist to get diagnosed for OCD.
But now I am at a point where I overthink anyyy interaction I have with any man who isn’t my boyfriend.
To be clear I never and would never do anything to jepordise our relationship, I have 0 intention of even slightly flirting with another man or anything like that.
But I started an office job (internship) 2 months ago and there are a lot of interactions with men. Anytime there is a man who is conventionally attractive I instantly go into a spiral of anxiety “Did I cheat on my boyfriend because I found that guy attractive? Do I have a crush on him?” etc
It has now gotten to a point where I have interactions with men who I don’t even find attractive that i second guess my intentions. For example, today I met a coworker who is very keen on sharing his work with me which is a great opportunity because his team is one that I would really like to move into. But I have so much anxiety/guilt around meeting him for i genuinely don’t even know what reason?
I always got along with men better than women because I grew up with my cousins who were all boys and their friends, so its also natural for me to be friends with men. But now I feel like I cant without feeling like I’m cheating.
My boyfriend has said he only cares if I flirt with other men (which again I have 0 intention of doing), and he doesnt have a problem with me being friends with men or anything like that.
I honestly dont even know what my question is, I guess just like in marriage what counts as cheating aside from the obvious?
If you’re at work and you have a slight crush on someone (I just mean you find them attractive and maybe get a rush of dopamine when they talk to you, not that you fantasize about them or act on this crush in any way) how do you deal with it?
I feel like I avoid any man who I might find attractive which then makes it into a bigger thing than it is and yeah honestly I just feel like I’m going crazy. I’m second-guessing each thought/intention i have.
Its led me to have thoughts like “I should just break up with my boyfriend he clearly deserves someone better” even though I can’t explain how much I love him and how dead inside I would be if we broke up.
Hey everyone, I 21F and been married to my husband for less than a year and just got into a huge blowup fight with my husband 24M yesterday and I’m still simmering about it and I don’t want to make the first move to apologize because I feel his anger was very damaging to me and our marriage. I know… not a good thing to think.
Yesterday we had just gotten back from mass and it was discovered that I left very important personal information in my husbands work car for a week total that I mistakenly thought I brought inside just to remember I actually hadn’t. Yes I feel terrible for it.
Husband got super upset because admittedly I’ve been careless about this same situation before. I don’t mean to be, but I fall short and I take responsibility for it, I forget many important things and I need to do better. I apologize multiple times, saying that I swore I thought I brought the items inside. But instead of moving past it and talking calming, my husband blew up at me and thought I was talking back to him, I know I wasn’t, but he took it as that and in return I got frustrated and upset.
However when I’m upset I shut down talking and I honestly start to cry, I don’t know why, but my husband was horrible this time and immediately started yelling at me. His frustration came from telling me he doesn’t think I ever take responsibility for what wrong I do, that my parents didn’t raise my right to do that. I think that is true sometimes but I really was sorry and I apologized multiple times, I can’t go back and change what happened.
I stopped talking to him because I thought he was going too far, and being too cruel to talk to, so I decided to leave the house entirely. When my husband asked why I was leaving I told him it was because I didn’t want to be in the house with him. So for almost 4 hours I stayed away.
When I got back home, I didn’t look at him, we didn’t speak and I immediately went into the bedroom where I stayed away from him for the entire rest of the day. I didn’t eat a thing, I’m still angry and upset with how he spoke to me and for the first time in our marriage he didn’t join me in bed and instead slept on the couch. It’s morning now and we still aren’t communicating and honestly I don’t want to.
I know marriage is sacred and I should be doing more for it, but I feel so fed up with the way I was treated yesterday that I feel hurt. I know I am also in the wrong, but I’m lost with what I should do, what I should say, and what I should feel after his argument…
I’d appreciate any encouragement from woman here who have also had horrible fights with their husbands… and how to extend grace.
I've had 6 miscarriages and 1 ectopic. I met with a fertility doctor today that wants to do a saline ultrasound and mentioned that it might lead him to do a hysterscopy but I would need to be on birth control leading up to the procedure so that the lining in my uterus stays thin enough. Since it would be used for a procedure and not the purpose to prevent a pregnancy, this is okay, right?
I am from a country where Catholics are very much a minority. I am talking less than 0.1% of an already small population. The majority of people are Muslim and are culturally Muslim even if they’re not practicing. I wasn’t raised religious but came to Catholicism while living abroad and now I am in my 20s, returning home, realising that the chances of me having a Catholic marriage and a family are slim to none.
Catholics aren’t persecuted but almost no one would be open to conversion or to raising their children in the church. Even if the person himself could consider it, their family would probably be against it and hence affect their decisions.
Should I just not expect to marry and have children? Or only seek relationships with foreigners?
I do attend Mass here and there’s a community but it’s mostly families, married couples and teenagers.
I've been around here long enough to know that it's normal to be put down by family who aren't Catholic (or who are, but not practicing).
Two of my closest family members (parent and sibling) are on me - "I told your [not Catholic] uncle not to go to church [on Sunday, so that he could attend breakfast, etc.], and to go another time" ... "he listened, but someone doesn't." "He hasn't gone to church for a month, you don't need to go." "Don't talk to her, you're wasting your time." "She's dumb as bricks."
One member tells me not to join the day trip we are going on today, and that he isn't coming back next year (he's visiting from abroad) because I'm [he used a swear word here.].
We had a day trip scheduled for Friday, which I was going to attend, but I just learned that it has been moved to Saturday. I'm discerning with a third order, and we meet then (once a month) and I had told my family in advance that I wasn't available until the afternoon on Saturday. They make fun of me and insult me for it. I only just joined the order and already missed one meeting due to travel abroad, and we are only permitted to miss two meetings in a year for serious reasons. Am I wrong to attend this meeting for a vocation I'm discerning instead of this day trip? My family member is visiting from abroad and said it's his last full day and to change my plans, and that he's not coming back next year.
After today, I just don't feel like going with them anyway. They are not religious at all, and I am the only Catholic in my family, so I don't expect them to understand. I had previously received threats if I were to enter the convent (which I still did anyway).
I would appreciate honest feedback. Thank you.