u/StHildegaard

I want to ask people who are especially stay at home moms- how much does your husband do when he gets home? What kind of work does he do during the day? Does he have responsibilities in the evening (chores, doing the dishes after dinner, bath time, etc) or does he rest? How much are you expected to do? I’m curious as to how stay at home moms usually balance their work as a mom all day with taking care of the house in the evenings as well.

I am in my early 20s and have found a wonderful man who treats me right and would be worth marrying. I love him and we have a lot of fun together, he’s a great Catholic, etc. But I feel stuck. I always wanted to do big things. As a kid I hated playing house and would always dream about starting charities, I wanted to be a doctor, then be a full-time missionary. Yet now I have this wonderful man who is working so hard to have a job where he can provide and hopes for a SAHM to take care of his kids. It’s all very noble and he’s the best guy I have ever had. However, I have a hard time giving up on those dreams of mine. I want a PhD, I want to be a professor, I want to go do mission work in more places and give myself to hard work for God. He doesn’t want his kids in daycare or raised by grandparents, he wants them primarily with a parent. I have prayed about my vocation a lot and do feel I’m called to marriage, and I want to do things in the way that would be best for my kids… still, my hesitation makes me wonder if I’m wrong about my vocation. is it that, or am I just selfish? Does anyone have any thoughts about what marriage is like or any way to put my fears to rest?

I struggle a lot with relationship OCD and anxious attachment and one thing my therapist suggested is that I read some scripture and books on marriage to help me have a more realistic and christian view of marriage (rather than the Disney Princess romance stuff that I grew up on). if anyone has any recommendations on what to read, both books and scripture, to get a realistic picture of what marriage ACTUALLY is rather than the perfect ideal that I chase, that would be great. I want to stop making an idol of love!